Tell me about your first day/night at home

[Moonrocks6]

ok, so I have read about the pregnancy, the birth and even bits in weaning, routine and milestones but nowhere can I find any information on exactly what to do with this baby when I first get it home!

So, please share your stories with me.
What did you do? Did you put baby to bed before you or all go together? Is there anything you with you'd known/ done?

It's all suddenly becoming very real!

[RedOnHerHedd]

The first night with my first baby.

We got home.
It started snowing badly.
The snow caused a power cut.
Breastfeeding by candlelight was ridiculously hard!
He cried ALL night, I cried.
I wondered WTF I had done.
He finally fell asleep about 8:30am and the midwife came at 9:00am. I could've killed her!!

Nothing can prepare you for the shock to your system of having your first newborn.

But... I look back now on those sleepless nights with such fondness. And we had another baby a few years later.

But it's not always like that. They do learn to sleep eventually, and I was quite lucky, they settled quite well into sleeping and I tried as much as possible to sleep when they slept. Never mind the housework.

If someone comes to visit in the early days, offer them in, provided they make tea/coffee themselves and tidy up afterwards. Take advantage of any offers to help out with washing up etc. When you need quiet time, put a sign on your front door saying "mum and baby asleep, please do not disturb". Don't be afraid to tell people that you're tired and need to go to bed.

[Ohwoolballs]

We got home about half five in the evening (I've just looked through the photos on my phone! I took one of us all on the sofa the moment we came in)
It was March and damn and cold out. I went and got my comfy pjs on and we cuddled on he sofa while DP made me some spaghetti on toast.
I was running on adrenalin and euphoria the next day. I got up while DS was still asleep, washed up, tidied and got in a shower (bliss). Then I let all manner of family traipse in and chattering like mad until the next day (day 3) when my milk came in and my hormones crashed and I became a tired crying wreck. Really struggled with breast feeding and didn't get to do half as much laying in bed doing skin to skin as I should have because family saw how easy I was the day before I couldn't get them to stay away next time I will demand at least a couple of days without interruptions.

Lovely thread OP, it's made me go back and look at all the first few photos and made me well up! I have a nearly five month old and am amazed by how much he learns and becomes his own person every day.

[Tatlerer]

This is such a lovely thread, well done OP. I had my DD at home (planned). She arrived at 9.30pm and I was tucked up in my own bed with her, some tea and toast by about 11pm. I can't really remember how she slept that first night but I do remember lots of staring in wonderment. Then proceeded about 2 weeks of total chaos where days blended into nights, we were eating breakfast at midday and dinner at midnight and watching lots of Homes under the Hammer!

[Moonrocks6]

I am so enjoying reading all of these. Thank you for sharing them.

[Writerwannabe83]

I came home at 8.30pm, feeling very sore and exhausted after having had a c-section and within 20 minutes my in-laws turned up and MIL started making comments about how the outfit I had put him really wasn't appropriate for the drive home from the hospital. I stormed out the room, started crying, my husband followed me and I told him to get his parents out!

We went up to bed together where I then spent most of the night in floods of tears as I tried to get DS to latch on whilst he screamed non-stop due to hunger and frustration...

It's such a lovely memory.....

[Diddlydokey]

Babies don't go to bed at 7 until they're a few months old.

I can't remember the first night

Try to prepare for lots of confusion and uncertainty

[sunnydayinmay]

Good thread!

We got home to our freezing cold cottage at about 9pm (had two nights in hospital because I had a rough time of it, and it then took a whole day to sort out my discharge papers and drugs).

We went straight to bed, with DS in the carrycot next to me. I just remember it was so cold, and I was so scared, I didn't know whether to sleep or not.

My honest advice would be to make yourself a cosy, warm, snug little nest where you can sleep, reach your baby, rest a drink or food, access your TV remote/phone etc before your baby arrives, then take yourself straight there when you get home.

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Oh god, we hadn't really thought further than the birth for some reason. I was so focussed on that I managed to forget there would be an actual baby at the end of it all 🙄 So we got home, sat on the sofa looking at each other wondering what to do with the small thing in my arms.

[PigPigTrotters]

Dc1, 2 and 3; arrived home, sat down a bit shell shocked and wondering what to do next. First night with all three was dreadful, no sleep, ended up with me sobbing, baby screaming the house down when I tried to make them sleep in a Moses basket.
Dc4; arrived home, went to bed, had finally given up on the idea of Moses basket, so had the bed prepared to cosleep, we slept, ds slept and fed when he needed to, it was all very calm and relaxing. He was a very placid baby though, the others were little non-sleeping buggers!

[mellowyellow1]

I don't remember much, wasn't allowed home until day 3. Remember falling asleep on the sofa then waking up in a panic wondering where the baby was ( on the floor with my partner).
Then on day 5 drove to BP garage to get milk and looked like a disheveled drug addict. Parked in a disabled bay but thought oh it's okay I've just had a baby .
The first few weeks are a total blur but do remember MIL and FIL moving in with us. That part I can never forget - luckily was only for a week!
Good luck OP just take it all as it comes and you'll be grand

[PigPigTrotters]

Oh, and the journey home from hospital took at least double the usual time as I shouted at DH for driving over bumps etc, that might hurt the baby and my c section scar.

[timelytess]

Long time ago. Then-H was going out that night (!) so picked me up at hospital at lunchtime and dropped me off at home before going back to work. So it was me and the baby until after midnight. Went to bed and fed a lot. Nothing much else, really. I remember walking the bedroom floor night after night, with the crying baby, until I was so exhausted I threw away the pillows and we co-slept from then on.

[NickMarlow]

Got home about 4pm, 3 days post section but had been in hospital for 2 weeks. Ate the best frozen pizza ever. Stared at dd. Fed her a lot. Had a nap upstairs and couldn't work out where the buttons were to raise my bed afterwards - had become totally institutionalised!

We all went to bed about 9. I had pre warned dh that I was broken after 3 nights in hospital with a nocturnal baby, and he would have to take her out of the room between feeds so I could sleep. I felt great by the morning, he didn't!

The next day was a blur of feeding and taking it in turns to nap. The day after, my milk came in and I was a total hormonal mess. Feeding was agony, I felt like the world's worst parent, I thought I would never sleep again. This is apparently normal but I wasn't prepared for how strong my emotions were. It got much better once my hormones calmed down!

[Lovelydiscusfish]

I came home in the morning after giving birth post-midnight.
My parents came over with some tiny-baby clothes and nappies my mom had somehow managed to buy (dd was tiny).
I tried to feed her during the day, but she didn't take much.
As my parents were leaving, dd started crying and dh asked why she was crying. I burst into tears.
That evening, I noticed her breathing was raggedy/phlegmy (as, apparently, many newborns can be - I was told they swallow a lot of fluid during birth??)
I became convinced she was dying and phoned the hospital, pleading that they readmit dd and I. They agreed.
Dh drove me in. The lovely nurses put me in a private ward, clearly realising I was bat-shit at that point.
They helped me feed dd, and gave me a timetable for when I needed to wake up and feed her. Even came in, to wake me and help me.
I suddenly felt relaxed and happy, and more or less able to cope. I love you, nurses of the Horton hospital, Banbury!
My advice to any new mothers would be to stay in hospital for a couple of nights at least, if you can.

[ZZZZ1111]

We came home from hospital on the evening of the 5th day. Similar to a previous poster this was not great as I was emotional due to milk coming in. It was a dark and rainy winters evening. I can't remember exactly what I was thinking but it was definitely along the lines of 'what the f have we done and what the f do we do now?!'.

My husband put together the expressing and sterilising machines that had been delivered (difficulties establishing breastfeeding). The baby was crying and snorting and we had no idea what to do (until we realised we needed to clear a bit of snot from his nose and then he was fine lol). It felt terrifying as we had been looked after really well in hospital and now had to go it alone!

When we were in bed I remember cuddling up to my husband and kind of wishing things could go back to how they were before.. And I think it was that night too when I was genuinely considering putting my baby up for adoption..! Bizarre to think back on that now.

Our baby is now 7 months old and we have grown as parents and as individuals, and have so much love for our baby. That first night (and plenty of nights after) can be tough but you will get through it and have an incredible journey ahead of you.

[fatimamansions]

Got home when DS was three days old.
Sat looking at him in his car seat wondering what to do. We both felt really lost, for want of a better word!

First couple of nights were ok but them on day five I had The Meltdown. Oh goodness, I cried and cried and cried and thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life, looking out the window at people jogging and getting on a bus and doing 'normal' things and thinking I'd never be normal again.

I remember nodding off for a few minutes and when I woke up and looked at the clock it was 7.20.... And I wasn't sure if that was morning or evening. I had to turn on the telly to check. It felt like I'd landed in an alternate universe.

You may not have the earth shattering hormone shift or the OMG what have I done moment but don't be scared if you do!

[Lules]

Genuinely can't remember and this was less than a year ago. I remember the drive home being very painful (bumpy road and c section). He was 5 days old so it wasn't straight after the birth.

[Timetogrowup2016]

Dd is 6 months. She was 5 months prem and we spent 5 nights in the hospital.
Got home (mil house) as we where in process of moving ourselves at 8:00ish pm?
Set our selves up in the spare room upstairs.
Sil came in and cooed over little one. Baby was so over stimulated she screamed from 10pm-1am. Finally we all fell asleep and she woke at 4am but oh done the night feed and I woke up at 7am.

[MillieMoodle]

DS was 3 days old when we got home. We looked at him a lot and took him up to bed when we went, at about midnight. I remember thinking it was madness that we were going to be allowed to look after this tiny person with no training or any real idea what to do. He cried a lot and wouldn't latch on. I can't remember a lot else but I was a hormonal mess for a couple of weeks, before being readmitted to hospital with an infection. I came out of hospital feeling a million times better, so think the first 2 weeks were such a blur because I was probably ill the whole time.

DC2 is due in 2 weeks, so I'm hoping things go a bit more smoothly this time round!

[PixieMiss]

I came home the day after he was born at around 5pm. We put him on the floor in his carseat and was utterly bewildered!

The cat came in and was less than impressed. The soft thing was scared of him

We had some tea, oven food and chips and breastfed the baby a lot.

The next day we decided to go buy a moses basket as we only had a next-2-me which turned out to be really impractical for moving around the house.

I vividly remember clicking and collecting one from Mamas and Papas and when we arrived they said they never recieved the order. Didn't bother to go check stock though mind I burst into tears (day 3 blues) and lo and behold they found the order...

I really don't recommend a trip out. I was in agony for days after!

[T0ddlerSlave]

Got home at 10:30 pm after chasing around to get discharged. All went to bed. We all cried a lot of the night as she wasn't interested in sleeping in the Moses basket and I was learning to breastfeed.

And I thought a blue line on the nappy meant dry...

Kept thinking there'd be a knock at the door explaining there's been a mistake and how could we ever think we were mature enough to have a baby of our own.

Following day lots of lovely snuggles and tentative dressing and nappy changes waiting for midwife to call.

[WeAllHaveWings]

I remember dh driving us home very slowly and carefully as if there was any sudden movement or breaking then ds would explode.

I remember being panicky/sore going home with my emcs wound.

I remember getting into the house, putting ds in his moses basket and then both of us just kind of wandering about in a daze not knowing what to do with ourselves when ds was asleep.

Don't remember much else other than nappies, the difficulties of early bf, not much sleep and just staring in awe at ds. After dh bathed ds, I went to bed at the same time as him every night for the first few weeks so I could catch any sleep I could.

[BoaConstrictor]

DC1 - came home about 4pm when she was about 36hrs old after a hideous labour. Meant to take photos on the doorstep but it was pouring with rain & blowing a gale so abandoned that plan, put her down in her car seat, got DH to make tea & toast & then we both sat down & thought "WTF". DD cried, I fed her & then we started frantically reading the baby books.
We all went to bed about 10pm & slept & fed until about 4am when I realised I had no idea if it was 2hrs from DD's last feed or 1hr as the clocks had changed & I didn't know if the clock on DH's radio changed automatically or not! Staggered downstairs, got even more confused as different clocks sad different times, remembered some books recommended feeding on demand but not Gina and I had planned on having a perfect Gina baby so thought that's what I'd do and, as DD clearly needed a feed, fed her again... and did pretty much each time she cried for the next 15mths. (To be fair to Gina, even she says newborns should be fed on demand)

DC2 - got home at lunchtime when he was about 14 hours old. Cleaners arrived 5 mins later! They cleaned around me & made endless cups of tea whilst DH logged onto his laptop & worked from home (DC2 was born in the most stressful work month of DH's life & chose a particularly bad day to be born immediately before) & I bf & dozed. A few hours later, DH went & got DD from nursery, we all went into the garden & then the plumber turned up expectedly to do some minor job. I was more experienced this time around & didn't even bother going to bed but just set up camp on the sofa.

[PassTheCremeEggs]

Got home with first baby after two days in hospital after emergency c-section. I can still picture myself sitting on my bed at home, husband in kitchen making me a coffee, me staring at my baby and realising with a big thump that for the very long foreseeable future I was no longer my own person and couldn't just go out alone on a whim! It was a massive moment that I really - stupidly - hadn't prepared for at all. I've just about got over it now mine are 4.5 and 2...! Seriously - do loads of stuff for yourself while you still can

[Mummyme87]

Well after being in hospital for two weeks with him, got him home and left him in his car seat and stared at him. Then after a while had some dinner and he woke for a feed.