Baby will not sleep, at end of tether, please help!!

[scarednoob]

Hello

My lovely baby is 5 weeks old (6 on Wednesday) and I am absolutely at the end of my rope. This baby will not sleep. Sometimes she sleeps during the day for a maximum of 2 hours. But the rest of the time, which includes overnight, she grizzles and whinges and simply refuses to go down for more than about ten minutes (just enough for me to get drowsy before she screams and screams). Then she will only settle on the boob before the whole cycle begins again.

So I haven't slept for more than an hour since she was born and it is ruining my time with her. Every time I pick her up , she just roots and yells for milk - even if she's just eaten. I feel like a dairy cow. I am sure the milk supply is fine as she has a very easy latch, has gained a lot of weight, and fills lots of nappies. I'm sure it's comfort feeding.

I have a very supportive OH but there is only so much he can fo when this bottomless pit of a baby just screams for food after an hour with him. And to make matters worse, he's started snoring like a truck.

This is the fifth morning on the trot that the baby has been awake all night. My back and shoulders are killing me and I'm hallucinating with tiredness and worst of all struggling not to shout at my helpless beautiful daughter. I an disgusted with myself.

Things that don't work: swaddling, white noise, cuddling without feeding, rocking the buggy, sleepyhead next to me in bed ( we have a memory foam mattress so she can't co sleep as it's not recommended), walking around ...

What am I doing wrong and how can I do it right???

Thank you!

[MilkyChops]

This sounds like our LO was. He had reflux and couldn't lay flat and thought more milk was the only answer. He used to comfort feed which then made the reflux worse.

Persevere with a dummy. The MAM airflow ones seem widely taken. Put it in and sit and tap it until she gets tbe hang of it. Also, when you feed her next so you know ahe is full and your husband is home, maybe just put some Ear Plugs in and ask your husband to take her for a walk whilst you have an hour to yourself xx

[villainousbroodmare]

Can you get a decent feed into her and then get someone to pop her in the sling and walk with her for a couple of hours? She should be quite fine for 2.5 to 3 hours after a good tummyful of milk. Even if she squawks a bit initially. I find if they're moving in a sling they will drift off.

[HippyPottyMouth]

We got nowhere with a dummy but at that age she would take a bottle. DH would do the night shift at the weekend with a fridge full of expressed milk, and I would sleep. Because he slept all the week nights, he was happy to stay up all night cuddling the baby and watching films. It absolutely saved my sanity.

[LittleBearPad]

Dummy; and perservere with it.

Send DH out for a good two hour walk with her. She will be ok if he keeps moving. A bottle to take with him should prevent too much crying.

Can you feed lying down?

Hang in there.

[minimalist000001]

Buy a single mattress and cosleep
The feeding will get better

[ODog]

Sounds like my DS at that age, but all VERY normal. Google the fourth trimester and Dr sears high needs babies.

In the meantime try a mam start dummy for 0-2 months. It was THE only dummy my DS took but it worked a treat. It won't and shouldn't stop comfort feeding completely but I does help.

Also as pps have said get a mattress you can safely co sleep on and a sling. This will make more sense on googling the above.

Good luck, it's hard but it gets better.

[leelteloo]

Sounds like dc3: never slept, grizzled all the time, nothing soothed except more milk but that would set whole cycle off again. It took five months and me nearly have a nervous breakdown but eventually he was diagnosed with cows milk protein allergy and reflux. At nearly two, he is a whole lot better but still not a great sleeper. You could try and cut absolutely all dairy and maybe soya too out of your diet, follow all the reflux advice and pester your hv? Good luck

[Iamnotloobrushphobic]

I'm really surprised to see people mentioning tummy sleeping. My first baby was exactly like OPs and it was only when my mum came around one day and put my baby to sleep on his tummy that he stayed asleep for a reasonable amount of time. I never dared to tell anyone that he was sleeping on his tummy due to all the advice saying how dangerous it is but it was the only thing that eased his colic and helped him to sleep.

[SanityClause]

DS, who is DC3, was like this. I effectively just did co-sleeping for the first few weeks, and had him in a sling, during the day.

Then, one day, I laid him down on my bed, with pillows around him, while I was getting on with something, and he fell asleep, and slept on my bed for a few hours.

So, that night, I tried him in his crib, by the side of my bed. Hallelujah! He slept for a few hours, in his own crib, between feeds!

So my advice is just go with your baby's needs, until they can cope with not being on you or next to you all the time. It will happen, I promise. In a few months time, this is likely to be a distant memory.

[Lovethebubbles]

I feel for you OP. My DD2 is now 13 weeks and I had similar problems to you. I found that having her in a sling in the day made "getting things done" slightly easier and I gave in and gave her a dummy particularly in the day, (found mam ones the best and recommended for breast feeding babies). I think she also had silent reflux which she has now outgrown and I have to admit we put her down to sleep on her side in the end with a rolled up towel to support her back. She also tend to co-sleep from about 4am onwards (we have a memory foam mattress too). Things improved massively with that. Good luck and things will get better with time if nothing else. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

[BeeHive75]

I totally emphasise the first months are a killer and I was so sleep deprived. what worked for me was switching to formula and using dummies at night she is a much happier baby for it (now 4 months) and I am a much happier mummy. Everyone is different though. Dh helped too in the early daya by taking her downstairs for a few hours at night to sleep on his chest. She would never sleep on me as she would always be rooting. It is so hard but it does get better I promise

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

If she keeps waking she has acid burn, which milk sooths.
You need to keep her head above tummy at all times. Raise the cot mattress with a towel, use a cushion for nappy changes. Feed sat up, bum in your lap etc. Youll have a different child in a few days.

[Sparrowlegs248]

DS was like this, constantly feeding, not wanting to be put down. He slept between 1-2 hrs at night for weeks and weeks. Wouldn't nap in the day unless on me and even then not for long and i still couldn't sleep. I tried a dummy, won't take it. I couldn't express, just didn't have the time between feeding not(have just started at 12 weeks) couldn't give him to someone else as he would just cry and cry and I wasn't prepared to do it. I tried everything suggested.

What did work was using a sling/carrier. Obviously you still can't sleep but it helps establish naps and prevents overtiredness - admittedly no one else tried him.in the sling so that may have worked. Also co sleeping. Our bed is made up normally - pillows, quilt. Baby is on the bed between us with his head on a folded muslin at my boob level (so below the pillows) i have a careful arrangement of my body which keeps quilt away from his face. It has saved my sanity. We have one wake up most nights now (5/7 with several wake ups 2/7) and I can just pull him towards me and latch him.on. I never planned to co sleep but felt it wa the only option!

If she will sleep in the car i second getting dh to take her for a drive. Feed and change her then send him.off and get yourself a nap.

[Naty1]

dd1 was like this. I think it was reflux as she has an allergy to soya (chocolate, ice cream, yoghurts)
Dd2 has slep several 12h stints, at 13w and sometimes drifts off without feeding to sleep. (But i have avoided all soya foods since birth, including a particular multivitamin)
The only other thing ive changed is to now be taking thyroxine and its possible this has increased supply.
Dd1 also used to sleep on tummy once she could get in that position.

[scarednoob]

Some great ideas here thank you!

We can't co sleep due to the tempur mattress, but she has a sleepyhead so I will try putting that on the bed and my arm round her. If that fails the idea of a temp single mattress for me and her might work.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern - fussiness is usually from mid afternoon and involves a lot of squirming and leg pulling and eventually farting. We give her infacol and try to wind her, but I think this is part of the problem, poor little thing

[MilkyChops]

Have you read about the evening fuss and witching hour. My LO was a demon from 5pm til 11am the at 4 months it just stopped. It was all natural if not soul destroying.

Hope you manage to get some time to yourself, that's what saved my sanity.

[mudandmayhem01]

My dh used to take her for a two hour walk from about 9-11 each evening. Those two hours of sleep were so precious. It wasn't easy for him either as she would sometimes wake up and he would have to comfort her with no magic boob, it also meant dh was very bonded with dd as a tiny baby which many dh s find hard especially if the baby is high needs.

[Wineandchoccy]

Dd was like this for the 1st 8 weeks then it suddenly got better and she is now 6 months and sleeps well so it does get better but I know that feeling of you will never get a good nights sleep again.
Things that helped us were we put wood blocks under her crib to lift the head end a couple of inches, infacol the full dose before every feed, feed then wind then continue the feed, baby massage especially the tummy and legs dd would always do a big burp after this, check again that she doesn't have tongue tie dds was only diagnosed at 5 weeks and after this was cut things started to improve, expressed or a top up of formula before bed and gripe water helped with the wind.
I also read that citrus things and tomatoes can make things worse so I stopped eating those but I've no idea if this actually helped or was a coincidence.
Sorry for the essay, I hope things improve soon for you

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

It gets better at 6 months as they can sit up themselves, and the stomach mussel at the top of the stomach starts working properly.

[Wineandchoccy]

Sorry yes I meant she got better when she was about 8 weeks old but she is now 6 months old

[skankingpiglet]

In terms of co-sleeping, it might be worth seeing if your cot has a mattress height setting that matches your own bed's. Leave one side off the cot and push it up tight to your bed. We had DD like this. It gave her the security of me being right next to her (I used to sleep with my head on her mattress), but gave her her own space and meant she slept on a bloody uncomfortable nice firm mattress.
Agree with PPs about MAM dummies and slings.
Try to get a dummy accepted, then once your OH gets home from work he can take her for cuddles and she can make do with the dummy whilst you catch up on some sleep.