Daughter's weight

[Bookmonster345]

My daughter is edging on becoming fat. She is 12, 5 ft 6 and 7 stone 13 pounds. Although some of this weight is down to having enormous feet (they are a size 8 and a half), she really could do with loosing some weight. Any tips on how to do this in a healthy way?

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

My post disappeared, but I was going to ask:

If you're weighing her to look for signs of an underactive thyroid and you thought her weight gain indicated this, why on earth would you ask online for weight loss tips instead of making a Dr appt to check her thyroid?

Do you think your daughter actually looks fat? It sounds unlikely from her measurements.

Girls of that age will gain weight as they develop hips and breasts. Goodness knows, she'll be self conscious enough about her changing body without being weighed so frequently and made to feel that normal healthy weight gain is bad - even if you said nothing, I bet she picked up on your anxiety about her increase and that can have a really disastrous effect on a girl at such a sensitive time.

If you're worried about her thyroid, take her to a doctor. Your opening post is very worrying.

[motherinferior]

Are you my mother? She thinks anyone over seven and a half stone is grotesque.

It's a really good way to give her lifelong body hangups and quite possibly an eating disorder, going from my experience and my sister's. Just saying.

[CinnabarRed]

I tried this BMI calculator here, which is calibrated to children, and takes account of age and gender as well as height and weight.

www.weightconcern.org.uk/node/9

It says a 12 year old girl who is 5 ft 6 would need to get to 9 st 10 lb before being classed as overweight.

I hope that gives some reassurance.

[slightlyinsane]

Take the battery out of the scales and throw it away. If she has a dramatic change in weight and you'll notice by the way her clothes fit, at this point all you then need to do is wait and see if she grows again. She's going to be at a really vulnerable stage in a few wks when they all go back to school and everyone has changed size and shape and they decide where they fit in with people again. All you are going to do is add to her anxiety. I also think ditching the scales will do you some good too. It's not healthy to weigh so often. I couldn't tell you what weight 3 of mine weight and I don't care because they are healthy and full of energy, I would only be concerned if it was a dramatic change over a good period of time not a month.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

I

[Enb76]

No, and I did say "if there were no other factors". Puberty is a factor as are growth spurts. I understand why the OP might be concerned but also think she is likely to be projecting her own issues onto her child so she is conflating what she sees as rapid weight gain from an adult's point of view onto her child where it is normal and to be expected.

[aintnothinbutagstring]

OP, I'm about 5'7, I started puberty (periods) at 11, had size 7 feet on starting secondary. I was about your daughters weight from yr 7, quite lanky looking as your weight doesnt quite catch up with your height at that age. On leaving secondary I was a healthier looking 10st7lbs. It sounds like your dd could well end up taller than me going by her shoe size so I'd be expecting a steady weight gain for the next few years until she reaches maturity.

[17leftfeet]

But you aren't growing Enb?

Several pp have checked stats on bmi calculator for a child, not an adult and op's daughter is clearly not overweight

Weighing a growing child is no way to monitor thyroid function

I wouldn't dream of weighing my 12 yo daughter unless she was obviously gaining -it's embarrassing and needless and its not a habit I want her to get into

As it is my dd probably has similar stats to op's dd -5ft 6 and dress size 6-8 but I have no idea what she weighs

[Enb76]

I think we should back off the OP. She has an under active thyroid and is concerned that her daughter has the same. Weighing her child monthly is OTT but hardly the crime of the century. An adult with the same height is going to be heavier than a 12 year old.

In an adult, I would find a 6lb weight gain in a month concerning if there were no other factors to explain it. If I gained 6lbs in a month, I would be a bit horrified frankly.

I do think that weighing a child every month is a bit much but we certainly don't know if the OP is berating her child, I would think she wasn't. I get my child to jump on the scales occasionally. I don't talk to her about her weight, I don't even discuss my weight around her.

Considering that most people have no idea what a healthy weight in a child looks like any more I don't think it's a bad idea to check every now and again. I probably do it about 3 times a year, I also measure her height but slightly more often.

[EllenMumsnet]

Hi all. Just wanted to remind folk that we kindly ask people not to mention the T-word on threads - feel free to report anything that makes you go .

OP, hope that the responses you've got here have given you some reassurance. Thanks to all who've posted advice, links etc.

[Pico2]

If you are worried about her thyroid (Hashimotos?) then ask for thyroid function and thyroid antibody tests at the GP. My mother has an underactive thyroid and I have been tested due to this family history. I know that I have thyroid antibodies from the tests, so I have my thyroid function tested ever year to see if my thyroid has been damaged by the antibodies.

Weighing her doesn't seem like a great way of monitoring her thyroid.

[Whenwillwe3meetagain]

Wow I think this behaviour is waving every red flag at how to give your child an eating disorder. Poor girl.

[specialsubject]

please, please be a troll.

it does not bear thinking about that you are really telling your tall, slim CHILD that she is fat. She has normal size feet for her height, not 'enormous'. What are you going to do, bind them?

the BMI calculator shows her in the 40th percentile, utterly normal.

you can twist her beyond all recognition if you carry on with this.

[sooperdooper]

OP just because your daughter has gained weight it doesn't mean she's, 'edging in becoming fat' she's 12, she's starting puberty she us supposed to gain weight and tbh even at her current weight there's no possible way she can be anywhere near overweight.

Stop weighing her, you'll cause her to become obsessed, it's very easy to see noticeable weight loss or gain and at her age it's perfectly normal

How is your attitude to weight/size in yourself?

[Theyaremysunshine]

There's nothing wrong with her weight.

There is something very worrying about you weighing her every month and saying she's edging on becoming fat when she's an entirely normal, healthy weight.

In all seriousness OP, I think you should look at getting some help with your feelings about this before you do irreparable damage to your DDs self esteem. She's fine.

[KissMyFatArse]

Don't make your daughter self conscious about her weight!! She is perfect so back off with the constant weighing.

I would think you'd be able to SEE if your daughters weight was becoming an issue so dont make it one..

[westcountrywoman]

Good grief. I'm 5ft 6 and weigh 11st and wear a size 12. So not slim but not fat either. She is not even close to being fat. I lost a huge amount of weight in early pregnancy with sickness, down to 8st (i.e nearly the same as your daughter). I was skin and bones.

[17leftfeet]

She's supposed to be gaining weight -she's growing

[RainbowB7]

She's not fat

[Enb76]

Also, with size 8 feet she'll probably end up around 5'8-5'9 so she's probably storing up for a growth spurt as well.

[LynetteScavo]

But if you weigh her to monitor if she may have a thyroid problem, and she puts in weight, then surely you should take her to the gp to have it checked rather than focussing on her losing weight?

[Enb76]

She's not overweight. She sounds spot on. I think the rapidity of weight gain is probably due to puberty. I think you should stop weighing her, not just for her but for you too. Make sure she eats healthily, get lots of excercise and slack off with the seeming obsessiveness about weight. You are beginning to make your issues hers. You will notice really rapid weight gain if it's for no reason.

Weighing her every month is doing neither of you any good.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

You sound paranoid and you run the risk of making your daughter paranoid too.

[Eva50]

You need to stop weighing her. This is not good for her. You should notice any obvious weight gain due to a medical condition. I think you should discuss your worries with your GP without your daughter present. Hopefully he/she can reassure you.

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

It's probably not really useful to be weighing her that often anyway, regardless of the thyroid problems in your family. She's 12 and will be going through a lot of body changes and drawing attention to her weight is not what you need to be doing right now. Especially as you seem to think she's getting fat when she can't be given the measurements you gave in your OP.