Experience of baby groups?

[moomin35]

Just wondered what your experiences of attending baby groups with a newborn were? What happens at them? Are they worth it?

[redcaryellowcar]

I don't think you have to go, but you might find you start wanting some adult company. i think as mentioned above there are some great groups and some less so. one of the best i took ds to was at a church group with loads of grandma aged volunteers who were very kind welcoming and got to know you and ds. i have met lots of other mums through this group too.
i also really liked baby sensory but didn't start until ds was about 8 months.
i imagine it depends on your own personality, i loved spending time with ds and liked to get out the house so we would do something every day either a group or a class or meet up with a friend or a walk with just the two of us!
we live in a small town and its really nice that we bump into people we know through various groups all the time.

[slightlyconfused85]

Only went to one run by our choldrens centre. Best decision I made loads of really normal women and a complete lifeline. Our children are toddlers now and we are still seeing each other. We didn't do anything when we were there particularly, chatted to each other and shook a few toys at the babies while they took turns to intermittently have melt downs! The health visitors and helpers would stick their heads in and say hello now and again so you could speak to them if any concerns. Hats off to Brighton and Hove children's and family centres!

[tobysmum77]

I did manage to find a group of baby friends but there were also cliques. The worst one though was when the big clique started slagging a friend of mine off (I live in a small town ). I enjoyed pointing out that I knew her they were and I never ever went back!

[Smoolett]

I didnt like it because I think she wad too little at the time. We didnt have a routine, it used to take me ages to get ready to go anywhere and I needed to lugg my huge bag. I think if I had done it from my DD being a few months I would have enjoyed it more. Now we have a routine. I know when shes due a feed, a sleep etc and I honestly think I would enjoy it a lot more. Im planning on going to baby sensory and maybe time for rhyme next week.

[CuriosityCola]

Miaow, that is dreadful behaviour.

Agree it's just luck. I have lots in my area, so just tried a few. It's funny because my ds1 always behaved dreadfully at the first one I went to, so I stopped going. Then I found another one where he behaved like a dream. Still not worked out the difference. The mums were nice at both though.

[Cric]

I went to my first group when DD was 2 weeks old and loved it. I like to be busy and it was just what I needed. But everyone is different :)

[YorkshireTeaGold]

I think its just down to luck whether or not people you have stuff in common with are there at the same time you have your baby.

After I had dd1 I went to lots of things both structured and not and made some brilliant friends... Some of my best friends now. When I had dd2 2 years later I couldn't wait to get back on the baby scene but struggled to meet people I had stuff in common with at the same groups. Dd2 had colic and screamed which didn't help.

So it's defo good to go and get out the house but don't take it personally if you don't make bffs

[CuriosityCola]

I found they were most beneficial for me rather than my little one. I used to go to rhyme time at the library and just enjoy ds's attention being taken away from me and having a chat with mums.

I am really good friends with baby sensory mums and toddler group mums three years on. Now we meet for free

[MrsGSR]

If you're shy I would definitely recommend a structured class at first (baby massage/swim and sing/bounce and rhyme) as there's no pressure to socialise.

I didn't really enjoy stay and play type things until DD was able to sit up and interact more.

[cadidog]

I started going to various groups when DS was 12 weeks old. No idea if he enjoyed it, but I needed to get out of the house. I'm basically a massive introvert but staying in all day with a baby is not an option for me - I'd go mad with boredom.

Start with baby sensory/yoga, you'll likely meet mums with babies around the same age. Baby groups are hit or miss really but I've been to some that have bored the tits off me but junior still loves staring at other babies then naps for ages after so still worth it!

[loaderloader]

I found it wasn't worth paying for any where you have to block book until DS was about 2 and napping in a fairly settled routine. Before that I was often stressing to get him fed and out on time, or turning up with a sleeping or very tired baby.

I quite liked the drop in play sessions at churches etc. IME you need to be comfortable to sit on your own. Sometimes people chatted, sometimes they were full of established groups. I think sometimes cliques are often just groups of friends catching up. Its easy to feel bad if you're a little lonely or nervous. Generally if I had a look I'd spot at least someone else by themselves who was happy to chat.

I paid for a couple of music type activities when DS was 2+ and these were easy as the session is organised. No time to feel awkward re socialising. Library baby bounce sessions are similar and free.

My local soft play is hell at the weekends (my idea of hell anyway!) But during the week when older kids at school it was quite gentle and I've always found it chatty in the baby area. DS1, now 4, nearly always finds a playmate these days and amuses himself.

[slightlyinsane]

Ive experienced both good and bad at the same group. Unfortunately the only way to find out is to go and try, for some reason they can be extremely daunting, we're all grown ups with children, yet they can put the fear of god into you.

As someone has already said the constant baby talk can be tough going, but if you feel comfortable going hang in there it gets better.

Some of my closest friends were found at a mum and baby group. After a few months of going the best thing I ever did was to mention going to the pub one night child free, the number of takers was very funny. 9 yrs on and we're just organising our next weekend away. Go to them you've got nothing to loose.

[cowbiscuits]

And to add to that, if you are quite shy, babies can be a bit of an icebreaker.

[cowbiscuits]

The first thing I went to was the "breastfeeding cafe" at the children's centre, initially because I wanted to chat to the breastfeeding adviser, but I stayed and I was very lucky that there was a lovely group of women who made me feel welcome- I'm shy and usually find these situations awkward. I suppose it was easier because they were people who I felt I had a lot in common with in terms of jobs, education, views etc. I used to look forward to this group every week and I made some friends that I still see. By the time I went back to work most of the group had left to go back to work, numbers had dwindled and the dynamic had changed a bit.

I am lucky enough to live a few minutes walk from a lovely children's centre, I was there a couple of times a week for various things at one point! We really liked baby massage and baby yoga.


I later went to another group, elsewhere, baby sensory, that did seem cliquey, but maybe it was partly that I just felt less able to connect with those mums.

I didn't mind chatting about babies all the time, because it was the one place you could talk about them without feeling like you were being annoying, and it was really good to have a sympathetic ear about the sleepless nights etc, and share experiences. Bit like mumsnet but with less vipers .

[museumum]

In the first weeks I went to a mum and baby postnatal pilates class run by a wonderful private MW and an ex-nanny, it was great, and they were lovely but I didn't chat much to other mums there.

In those early weeks I mostly met up with my pregnancy yoga class and they encouraged us to take our baby back to the class after the birth. I was first to give birth, once we all had we met up in a café for about twelve weeks then gradually lost touch (we were spread widely across the city).

From about 5/6 weeks our nhs area organised a HV drop in for six weeks, mostly the same people who were in our nhs ante-natal classes. I am still in touch with most of the mums who went to the post-natal drop-in (ds is 11months). These mums mostly live close to me.

I went to baby swimming from 12 weeks. Made lovely friends there I still see weekly. Three of us were from the nhs group and three were from the same nct group but I knew one of those pre-baby so the class bonded more than most and went to the café every week after the class - we always invited the two other mums who weren't part of that core six so hopefully we weren't too cliquey even though we already knew each other.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

I'm sorry if I'm pissing anyone else off.

Everyone's experience is clearly equally valid, and I'm not intentionally trying to pick a fight, believe it or not.

My original point was that sometimes, for some people, a class centred around an activity is better than a general baby and toddler group. There is something specific to do, along with the opportunity to discuss what you are doing, rather than just hanging out with strangers for an hour. Which may or may not work for you, depending on how friendly/cliquey the strangers are plus how gregarious you are personally.

[hollie84]

To be honest Culture I hadn't read your post when I made mine, but reading back through it now I'm still not sure how you're making my post about yours.

[OsMalleytheCat]

I did baby yoga, baby sensory and a baby swim class and loved them! It really helped me to structure my day without it seeming like I was watching the clock till bedtime!
It also lifted a lot of pressure that I had put on myself to play with & stimulate the baby!
And I have made sone brilliant friends who I regularly see outside of baby groups.
Go along and see what you make of them! What's the worst that could happen?

[DinoSnores]

You are takings a bit personally there, Culture! Doesn't sound like you are respecting Hollie's experiences yourself.

I've not seen the cliques at baby groups either but I do find the constant baby chat a bit painful! We all used to be interesting, balanced people before we had children. Surely we have something else other than our children to talk about now!

[CultureSucksDownWords]

Yes, I'm getting that loud and clear Tarka.

[TarkaTheOtter]

It's not about you.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

Tarka, I'm glad you know what Hollie84 was referring to. Obviously I've completely misunderstood. Silly me for thinking my experiences were relevant or worthwhile.

[TarkaTheOtter]

culture I don't think hollie was saying anything other than she hadn't experienced cliqueness etc. Nothing to do with you or your experience at all.

[Lally112]

I am as thick skinned as a dragon and wouldn't go back to one of these baby groups. I find them cliquey, judgemental and most of them run by some real life form of hyacinth bouquet. I had nothing in common with any of these women and frankly if i would have said black - they would have said white. I preferred to stay within my own circle of friends who had kids of their own for 'baby bonding'