Advice desperately needed on dealing with forgetful & upset 8yo!

[NoThanksIAmBusy]

DD is 8 (nearly 9) and is a lovely, funny but extremely scatty child. She constantly loses her belongings, forgets where she's put things etc. If you ask her to go and put her shoes on she will disappear for 5 minutes only to re-appear looking dazed and shoeless!

Sweet as she is, it is starting to drive me, her and her teachers mad. I am losing patience with her as I just can't afford to replace things (school uniform, swimming goggles etc) and feel she needs to be more responsible. She has just had a meltdown of epic proportions because I told her off for forgetting her PE bag, an important form and her jumper (I didn't collect her from school today so couldn't remind her) She was sobbing and said she gets told off constantly at school for forgetting things, falling over etc. She is worried the teacher doesn't like her now (her teacher is fab and thinks she is lovely so not a concern for me) and is clearly getting anxious and distressed.

I don't want to make this worse and have just reassured her that I think she is totally wonderful and special, forgotten jumper or not. However I have no idea how to deal with this issue ongoing. I can't just shrug off the constant forgetfulness as it impacts on so many things.

Any ideas wise mumsnetters? She is all snotty and upset and I feel crap for telling her off about something she is already upset about (I didn't know she had been in trouble at school too)

[Littlefish]

Dyscalculia (not sure that's the right spelling) might be worth looking at?

[NoThanksIAmBusy]

great, will get googling that too!

[funambulist]

An educational psychologist would be able to do tests that should pick up dyslexia, dyscalculia, AS and problems with working memory.

[NoThanksIAmBusy]

Thanks funambulist - will have a chat to her teacher tomorrow and look into an ed psych appointment too.

[Ledkr]

She always has been yes.
No improvement but she is managing secondary school which we were worried she wouldn't.
We have lost a locker key already and a water bottle.
Two new swimming costumes in the summer.
Every night she goes to bed but can still be pissing around thirty minutes later but can't say what she's doing.
It infuriates me.

[Clobbered]

Yes to lists! DS has a laminated timetable in his bag to help him remember what to take etc.
Maybe a small notebook in her blazer pocket or bag for any special reminders for the day - she needs to get into the habit of checking it at break / lunch / before coming home.

[TwoLeftSocks]

Just a thought but have you looked up the traits associated with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD without the physical hyperactivity)?

Our DS1 has recently been diagnosed with moderate ADHD and the forgetfulness etc sounds very much like his inattentive characteristics. He gets distracted by anything, especially his own thoughts, and would forget his own head if it wasn't screwed on.

[Mattissy]

My DS used to be like that, he now takes vitamins and he's improved a lot, obviously still has his moments but all in all he's much better. Most of the B vitamins help, particularly B12, which is good for memory. Also Omega 3 helps with brain function and concentration.

For a quick, easy 'potential' solution that can't do any harm it's certainly worth a try.

[SauceForTheGander]

In regards to hyper mobility a friend has it and said she's spent a good deal of her life feeling exhausted and only recently found the two were linked. This could obviously have implications on memory and concentration?

[difficultpickle]

Hypermobility affects memory, concentration, organisation. It isn't just being clumsy and falling over.

[TwoLeftSocks]

I'd not heard of hypermobility before - feel like I've learnt something today!

[Littlefish]

I had heard of hypermobility, but had no idea of the full effects. I will go away and read further. Thanks you bisjo.

[DorrisM]

Mattisay, are you giving a particular brand/type of vitamin?

[Mattissy]

I lost my last reply, sorry if it comes up twice.

My DC's take Bassett's Early Health with Omega 3, soft and chewy and taste of Orange do they like them.

I have a B12 supplement, I think I got it from Julian Graves. DS is 12 now so happier to eat foods high in B12, such as oily fish, red meat and egg yolks, so only if he seems distracted do I give him the supplement now.

Veggies don't have B12 in them, it's only in animal products, do if you're a vegetarian you'll need supplements.