Is a potty essential for potty training?

[abigboydidit]

Just that really. I really don't like pottys and my only (very limited) experience of potty training has been using children's seats over the loo. However, I need to accept that the most tried and tested method is likely to be the most effective, so thought I would do a quick poll!

[mathanxiety]

I used a little clip-on padded child-size toilet seat on the loo, along with a step stool for height. I didn't bother with a potty because that would have meant re-training with the loo at some point down the line and I couldn't see the sense of that. Mine were all on the petite side and we used the clip on seat for a good while -- until they each decided they were ready for bigger things.

For peeing the DDs sat down and DS stood on the step stool aiming at cheerios and small pieces of tissue paper ('fish').

I did leave a potty right outside the bathroom if I was going to be in there myself for any length of time, but I found it really, really messy, and never used it for the initial training period.

I followed a book called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. It took about two weeks in reality, and there was a preparatory period that didn't involve using the loo, a dry run if you will. It was an intense two weeks and I was pretty much homebound for the entire period but it was a positive experience and it worked. I loved the method as it gave me explicit instructions and I felt I wasn't just poking along in the dark. An important aspect of the book was helping the parent/coach discern when the child was ready to embark on learning the new habit.

The focus was on keeping the pants dry rather than producing something in the loo, which if you think about it is what you are aiming for -- whatever goes in the loo goes there in order to keep the pants dry. I think focusing on producing something on the loo as the be all and end all makes children unduly anxious about that part of the process.

The book advocates taking off nappies altogether, night and day, once you get started and though that bit gave me qualms, I lined the little bed with heavy, cheap towels and took the plunge. The authors also pooh-poohed pull ups -- as a ^^pp said, this confuses the child. It also required the learner to be in charge of mopping up accidents and though that made me think of all the possible things that could go wrong it was clear as we progressed that it was a well-thought out aspect of the routine.

[mathanxiety]

Women in older generations were often dealing with all cloth nappies (so more work washing and drying than disposables) and were also pressured by rather intrusive HVs to do things according to the book and it makes them nervous to see children and their parents apparently making it all up as they go along. I think many assumed there would be lasting damage done to children if they weren't out of nappies by X age, or feeding themselves, or reading, etc.

There was a culture in years of yore of women following rules that they couldn't and shouldn't question, and seeing younger generations plotting their own courses makes many uncomfortable.

Maybe this is what is bothering your MIL. No matter what, she had her innings and it is your turn now. Whatever is bothering her, it is also her problem. It's up to you to deal with your own child, your way.

[Bunbaker]

We had an upstairs bathroom so it wasn't practical to not use a potty. Also DD was tiny and didn't want to sit on the toilet. Just do what works for you.

[Teapot74]

I bribed mine with sweets. Would not ordinarily support that style of parenting. Was horrified when someone 1st suggested it but it worked. (small dolly mixtures 2 for a poo!) Also never get cross. As soon as you're coming to the end of your tether give up go back to nappies and leave it a week or 2.

[NewbieMcNewbie]

My best tip would be to wait. The older they are, the quicker they'll get it. DS was 2.8 and potty training was cracked in a matter of days.

[CointreauVersial]

I hated potties, and I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times mine used them (and I have 3 DCs).

Straight to trainer seat on the loo. I had a good sturdy one at home, then a fold-up one for travel.

[Bunbaker]

"I disagree with the waiting two of mine potty trained in a few days at just turned two. No more nappies great."

Well, bully for you. I don't agree, not every child is ready at just turned two. I tried DD at that age and she just wasn't ready. I tried her at 2 years 8 months and she cracked it in three days, and she didn't have any accidents after that.

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

Whilst it's not a fashionable view, I do believe that there's a difference between "not ready" and "can't be arsed". Basically, a child who just doesn't get it at all without constant reminding is not ready. A child who is usually reliable but has accidents in certain situations (i.e. when on bouncy castle at party and doesn't want to get off) is, in my opinion, ready but needs extra encouragement/reinforcement, and I don't think it pays to quit in the latter situation. Tbh, with DS the matter was out of my hands because where we live they have to be out of nappies for Kindy (min age 2.9). It took a while though to get completely dry. Cracked it around his 3rd birthday, having started at 2.7.

[bearsmum123]

Bunbaker your so right, my friends little boy actually developed a stammer when potty training was inflicted on him because the narrow minded staff at hes nursery saw it as a problem that he was not potty trained by 3.
My friend packed the whole thing away and said she'd rather he was happy, a few months later he asked to use the potty himself and was dry and clean within days (no fuss, accidents, being reminded until it just got irritating or loosing the ability to finish a sentence) and still with over a year to spare until primary school started.
I don't understand why a parent who is in tune with what their child is actually ready for has to be seen as lazy.