How do I stop bf during the night?

[LoonyLouLou78]

My ds turned 1 last week and has always bf to sleep (naps too). When he wakes in the night I have always fed him back to sleep. In the beginning it was obviously because he was waking for a feed and always fell asleep on me, but as time went on it has just become routine (habit). He usually only wakes once a night - which I can live with - but lately he has been creeping back to 2 sometimes 3 (or more if he's teething or off colour) times a night.

The hv came last week to do the 12 month check and told me that controlled crying was the only thing that really works (and works fast). Ds was tired at the time and she convinced me to "try him now" by putting him down for his nap. He is a very contented little boy and we had the most horrendous 40 minutes of sobbing (in between me picking up/cuddling/putting down) I finally got rid of the hv and picked him up again only to have him fall asleep in my arms still sobbing in his sleep. It took two days before he would go back into his cot (asleep) without immediately waking and screaming.

What I really want to know is, has anyone had success stopping bf in the night without cc? I appreciate he might get a bit upset but will he eventually settle with me staying in the room? Also, is there a chance that he might just grow out of the night waking and stop needing bf himself (wishful thinking)?

[FetchezLaVache]

I explained to DS that he couldn't have cuddle me more in the night any more, but he was a bit older than your DS at the time (18 months). I wish I'd done it earlier though! Life is so much nicer on unbroken sleep.

[LoonyLouLou78]

Thanks again everyone. I'm hanging on until half term when DH is off work but DS is now regularly up 3 times a night again! Could set your watch by him the past 3/4 nights so definitely habit. Delilah when you started rocking/singing to sleep did you then still feed in the night when she woke? If so I might start something like this asap!

[Eletheomel]

I eventually did it at 2 years with DS1 who had been waking 2-3 times a night for comfort feeds since he was 4 months. I was basically tired and sore and we'd tried DH going into him, but he'd cry so I'd end up doing it.

So, I realised that the only way it was going to work would be if i was there denying him the boob. It was horrible, took about 90 minutes of me with him on the bed cuddling him but refusing to feed him and he was hysterical, but he eventually fell asleep.

Next night he woke for a feed, I did the same again, he was still upset but not hysterical and he fell asleep after 20 minutes.

Third night he woke, I went through spoke to him, no boob and he was asleep 5 mins later. Fourth night he slept through.

I'd never leave a child to cry and I found it heartbreakign listening to him get so upset but i felt he'd had a good innings and I was ready for the night feeds to stop.

My son was 2 though so could understand what I was saying to him, the suggestions above by pp would probably be better than the method I went for (wouldn't recommend that to anyone really!)

[OnTheRunFromTheAcademe]

I did jay Gordon too when ds was 16 months and it worked like a dream. It's not overly prescriptive so you can adjust it to suit your own situation.

For example we never did the final step and just carried on cuddling to sleep when he woke up. We also decided that ds found it confusing being fed up till a certain time when he woke and then not after (he can't tell the time after all!), so I just fed him at bedtime and then not till morning.

We started with no feeding till 5am, and two months later he now doesn't wake for a feed till at least 7, and sometimes much later (record was 8.45!)

He cried a little the first few nights, but not for long, and one of us held him the entire time he was upset. I love dr Gordon, he changed my life!

[delilah89]

Hi LouLou. I found that refusing to feed to sleep at bed time solved the regular wakings and bebe slept for a much longer innings the first stretch (like 7-3am, rather than waking up at 8, 11, 1, 3 etc).
It all changes though. Now my dd is ill and is awake for milk at 3am and 5.30, with struggle to get her back to sleep after that...
good luck

[LoonyLouLou78]

Ah right - thanks Delilah. He was up about 5 times last night - just snuggles straight into the boob and off he nods!