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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

What is a nice age gap.....

37 replies

mum2sam · 24/04/2006 22:20

Im feeling broody again ds is 18mths and a very active child lets just say he keeps me busy . I would like to have another child at some point so ds and the nb will be close as they get older. What would you say would be a nice age gap??

OP posts:

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SoupDragon · 30/04/2006 21:51

A nice and right age gap is the one you end up with :)

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hana · 30/04/2006 21:25

you can't always get what you want in terms of age gaps...
whatever gaps you end up having you just work with
I have 3.5 years between the dds and will have 21 months between dd2 and number 3
loved the big age gap and am dreading the second ( which is what I would have liked between my first 2 children..)
good luck
just go for it!

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lunavix · 30/04/2006 21:23

ds will be 2.4 when this baby comes and I feel it's perfect.

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mrspitt · 30/04/2006 21:21

2 years 3 months between ds and dd1 and 2 years almost to the day between dd1 and dd2.

I like the 2 year thing but wanted to do it sooner with ds and dd1!

IF we decided on no.4 it would be with a 2 year gap or less. Only so the baby is close together though and you don't have to start all over with equipment etc and get too used to sleeping at night

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scienceteacher · 30/04/2006 21:18

3 years is a good gap.

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awayninahmanger · 30/04/2006 21:17

me too ChicagoMum! had mc at the two year mark
ended up very happily with a three year gap. Still on mat leave and loving it

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CHICagoMUM · 30/04/2006 21:15

Yet another vote for 3 years (I wanted 2 years but it didn't happen - but actually 3 is better as dd was at nursery 2.5 hours a day and out of nappys, able to feed herself and various other things by the time ds was born. Plus no need for a double buggy, new cot, car seat etc etc so saving on expensive purchases).

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awayninahmanger · 30/04/2006 21:12

another vote for 3 years

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expatinscotland · 30/04/2006 21:12

Have 2.5 year age gap and it's great!

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nooka · 30/04/2006 21:11

I have a 16mth gap between my two. Very very hard to start with, but much easier now because they are so much at the same stage. People often ask me if they are twins. I had a four year gap between me and my next sister up, and felt very much the youngest (with two elder ones closer in age) and we have only recently started to get on. My cousin was the oldest with a four year gap to her brother and they have always been very close. So it's unpredictable. I'm quite glad dd was an accident, so we never had this dilemma!

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Elibean · 30/04/2006 20:25

I'm currently 8 wks pregnant with #2, fingers crossed DD will have a sibling just before her 3rd birthday.

My sister is 6 years older than me, my brother 4 years younger, we're all close and get on really well as adults. As kids, my sister had a hard time adjusting - but my brother and I played well together from the time he was a toddler till I hit adolescence

I suspect there's no real answer to this one!

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suzywong · 30/04/2006 10:56

go for it now mum2sam, I conceived ds2 when ds1 was 19 months old. It's all working out very very nicely

From what I know in my family, 5 years is very very hard and that goes through 3 sets of siblings over the immediate family. My older sister is 8 years older and I was like an only child for most of my childhood. And we are not close. But that is just my exprience

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Chuffed · 30/04/2006 10:52

I have 21mths between my two and ds is only 4mths old. Agree with those that say very little jealousy, and hopefully they will get on, if not they will at least be in the same age group for doing things on the same wavelength.
I wanted a small gap and if we have another want another small gap, I had 6yrs between myself and sister and can only really remember the negatives of growing up, always being told to be quiet when she was having her afternoon nap, being able to do things that much earlier than you were allowed to after you waited for so long. We are quite close now but it took until she became older and then there didn't seem so much of an age gap. So I wanted different but often you can't choose so agree with Jools in that if you have 2 beautiful children no matter what the age gap it will end up being the right one for you.

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pebblemum · 27/04/2006 22:10

I have a 6yr gap between my two boys. At first it was a blessing as ds1 was old enough to understand what having a baby would mean ie sleepless nights and he was able to play an active role in helping me with ds2. Now though the age gap is a pain as they both like different things. If we plan a day out ds1 (9yrs)wants to go to theme parks and ds2 (2.7)wants to be able to run around. The same goes when we are on holiday, it is hard finding things to amuse both without dh and I having to take one boy each. The plus side of the age gap is ds1 looks after ds2, he is very protective and when they arent arguing like cat and dog they are very loving to each other.

It would have been nice if there was less of a gap but that couldnt be helped unless i had an immaculate conception I think no one can say when you should have another baby, only you knows when the time feels right. Also age gaps dont determine how close the siblings are. There is 12yrs between me and my big sister and 8yrs with my big brother. I am closer to my sister even though she left home when i was 5 and my brother was still there when i was 14

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Xavielli · 27/04/2006 21:44

There are 15 years between me and my eldest brother, 13 years between me and my sister and 2 years between me and my other brother.

We are all really close... just goes to prove that its nothing to do with age really... just the disposition of the siblings.

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mum2sam · 27/04/2006 21:30

I have a 9 year age gap between me and my brother with me being the younger and i cant say we are very close. I would have another baby now but ds is a pain in the butt at night time so i may plan it for when ds is due to start nursery.

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rarrie · 27/04/2006 21:19

I wanted a 3 year age gap. I figure that DD has had her babyhood, and will now be old enough to be a good big sister and nursery fees will be reduced by the time DC2 starts.

I'm lucky that I was able to plan it exactly - Got pregnant first month trying with both of mine, and I planned it so they are both born in Nov. (If DC2 comes within 2 weeks either side of the due date). I think I'm very lucky to be able to do that though!

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notasheep · 27/04/2006 19:27

cant really plan our age gaps can we?

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Angeliz · 27/04/2006 19:12

Just to clarify, dd1 had her 4th Birthday 3 days after i gave Birth to dd2.

I must learn to type!!!

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Angeliz · 27/04/2006 19:11

DD1 tuened 4 3 days after i gave Birth to dd2.
That age gap has worked wonderfully. They adore each other and there have been no problems at all.
There will be a 17 month age gap between dd2 and new baby and that scares me a little but i'm looking forward to it. I haven't really worked out age gaps either time, just when it felt right and we wanted another.