Be honest with me - if you did all the feeding-to-sleep, co-sleeping, napping-in-buggy things did you indeed Make a Rod for yourself?

[artifarti]

That's it really. With DS1 we did a bit of gentle shush-patt and he would nap and fall asleep on his own in his cot, slept through from 7 months and we never felt the need to co-sleep. With DS2 (8 months) it's a different story and I am so knackered/desperate that he spends half the night in my bed guzzling away and has to be pushed round the block to nap (fortunately once he's asleep I can wheel him home and park him up so that's not a big issue). I am starting to wonder though how and when I will be able to get my bed back and whether he will start to settle himself without my boobs (we do manage to get him to sleep without sometimes but he is still pretty obsessed!).

So, if you co-slept and fed/rocked/pushed to sleep, did your DC settle themselves in the end on their own or did you Make a Rod for Your Own Back and have to do something to get them to sleep through the night/in their own cot?

No, but I was always very strict that co- sleeping meant just that, figetting kicking and messing meant going back to her cot.

I fed her to sleep past her starting school, never thought of it as a problem. Subtitles on TV snuggle up on sofa after saying good night to big sister. I'd probably watched TV at that time anyway.

DD2 never slept in the day from being tiny, we just collected DD1 from preschool at just the wrong time, had she wanted a long feed to have a nap that might have been annoying.

DD1 was a FF wriggler who never co slept, napped very easily and went to bed ok so long as it was 8pm.

We did have issues with our DS to do with wheeling him around in the pram at night to get him to sleep (12 months). Then we had problems when he started waking, because we started feeding him again to get him to sleep (14-18 months).

To solve the first issue we did controlled crying with the help of a sleep consultant and it took two nights to fix. It was the best thing ever. Second problem I got advice from the same sleep consultant and went cold turkey on the night feeds (he was 18 months so definitely didnt need them) and again it took about a week to resolve itself.

I must say, with baby number 2 due next May I am going to try to avoid getting into these habits and I am getting the sleep consultant in from day one to try and establish good practices. However, perhaps I will have a very difficult baby and I will be doing what I can to get some relief! However, my view is, and others will disagree, that sometimes we hold onto bad habits because it's thought it is too difficult to change them. I was like that for a while. I get thinking the issues would resolve itself and they didn't. So we bit the bullet and took some action which was tough but very short term and worth it. Now DS is just over 2 and is a very good sleeper (touch wood). Sleeps in his own bed, just have to have good night stories, lights off, kisses goodnight and that's him done. It's so much easier.

I have also found that with a second DC, things like leaving them to cry for a bit become much more of a risky business when you need DC1 to have a good night's sleep for school etc! This is the main thing we are struggling with. Last night DD2 woke at 4am, sang for a bit, then shouted, then cried, then woke the whole house up. DD1 wandered in upset, so she needed resettling, DD2 eventually needed milk to settle. It would have been easier to have DD2 in with us all night. I think we would have all slept better. The trouble is DD2 is formula fed - I was poorly so we had to switch although I didn't want to - and I find I am sleeping much more deeply this time, so haven't routinely co slept. So in a way I am jealous you are able to do it! DD2 is the same age as your DS2 and I tell myself constantly things will get better... Please!

No, they all get there in the end...do what ever works for you all in the short term, would be my advice!

I still have a co sleeper who is 5, but it doesn't bother me really. He can sleep fine elsewhere, if he needs to.

Oh and he did stop breastfeeding when he went to school, at 4 and a half. It just tails off iykwim...no stressing or hassle or arguing or reward charts. He just stopped needing it.

Nope.
Fed to sleep as it worked, not that I planned to. Co-slept, because it worked, not that I planned to at all . Used a sling for the first ten weeks or so, because it worked.

Now the little sod won't even be cuddled...

Fed and cuddled my daughter to sleep and often shared a bed with her. Trying to get out of this habit was sooo hard!!

When my younger son came, I put him down awake and have never shared the bed with him. MUCH easier!

Nope, no rods here. Breastfed to sleep, co-slept, cuddled whenever, no routines none of that stuff whatsoever.

8 year old DS1 is as independant as it is possible to be and DS2 is similar at 2 and a half.

They both go to bed when told, they have their own beds (but are welcome in ours at any time).

Now when I want to kiss DS1 all I hear is 'Muuuuuuuum' and DS2 mostly need to be crash tackled for a cuddle so I am glad I got them all in when they couldn't get away.