Etiquette re Headlice!

[Blu]

What is the usual protocol for mixing with other kids if a child has an outbreak of lice? I have a two-year old, and so far (lucky us!)the group activities and friends we meet have not been affected. However on the last two visits to my brother-in-laws we have had lucky escapes. At the end of one party, he said his ds had lice, and at the end of another, another mum, who we have seen several times there, said her 3 dd's had an outbreak. In each case the children had long hair not tied back, no attempt was made to stop them playing dressing up with hats and we were not told about the lice until going home time. Given the inconvenience of dealing with lice, I felt pretty angry that we were not warned and that no preventative measures were being taken. I am considering mentioning it to my bil, and asking that next time we be warned in advance. What is accepted etiquette for children with lice? Am I right to be shocked by this, or is it now so common that there is no point in taking precautions? I am feeling a bit self righteous because neices on my side of the family had a trip to cousins delayed because they had lice, and I am expecting my dh's family to behave the same. All points of view welcome! Thank you.

[SamboM]

I seem to remember SofiaAmes talking about this on Saturday night - did you not ban the licey kids from your house for a while?

[Jimjams]

Think you're over-reacting personally. ALthough I agree it would be fairer to tell you first. Lice are rife once children start going to nursery etc anyway- and you're going to get affected at some stage. Having an autistic child who hates having his head touched- lice are an absolute horror for me, but I think they are unavoidable. I only get annoyed by persistant offenders (ie if someone refuses to do anything about it). My reasoning being if I can get rid of lice on my son - with all his problems- and believe me combing and conditioning is horrendous for him- then someone else should be able to do it to theirs.

The official line at our nursery is that children aren't allowed in with lice, but in practice I know the manager only bans those children who's parents don't get rid of them otherwise. Ds1 has had them twice and never been banned (and I did tell the nursery).

[Jimjams]

misuse of the apostrophe- whoops

[Jenie]

I am very lucky by the sounds of it neither of my children have had head lice, I did ask the pre-school though what their policy was on head lice and was told that it wasn't a health problem and that lice were no longer viewed as such and that they don't even send out letters telling parents that there has been any cases reported to them.

Dd's new school also take the same approach as do the rest in our area.

It's apparantly also got something to do with bullying among children and the child whos parents reported the infestation being made to feel victimised by the letter being sent out........something like that.

[hmb]

DDs school have no problem with them going to school as long as the infestation is being dealt with. If the children are having wet combing done as per department of health regs then they shouldn't have lice large enough to be passed on between combings. So even though they are still technically infested, they are not going to pass it on. When Dd get them I informed the school and also telephoned the parents of those children I know she plays with in school. But I didn't keep her away from school or social occasions. I now make sure that dd's hair is tied back at school every day.

[Jimjams]

I've been secretly pleased each time ds1 has got lice- it means he's been close enough to another child to pick them up

Like hmb I informed recent playmates when I found ds1 had them, as well as nursery. My MIL was staying at the time who is from the old school of louse treatment and as I was phoning friends she was hissing in my ear "you don't tell anyone, you hear, you keep it very very quiet". She then wanted to put toxic chemicals on everyone in the house (including a 6 month old ds2). Was absolutely horrified when I refused and combed eveyone instead (I was infected along with ds1- eveyone else was clear). Since then she cuts out adverts for louse chemicals and sends them to me (received one last week). Honestly though I found the easiest way to get rid of them was combing. If we've been somewhere with lice I make a point of combing both boys heads that night in the bath. If you can catch them before they lay eggs you're laughing anyway.

[Jimjams]

ds2 didn't even have much hair.....

[Janstar]

If you put lots of conditioner on first it makes the hair slippery so you can comb the lice out easier.

[WideWebWitch]

Blimey at your MIL Jimjams! Can you return the favour and send her an extract from Debrett's on the correct form re personal correspondence on sensitive matters? I think lice are no big deal and most kids are going to get them at some point. That said, they're a PITA although wet combing does work. At pre-school the policy was that kids were excluded until the lice had gone but at school children are allowed to attend even if they've got them. A note goes out to all parents asking them to please treat the lice though. I think they could have told you and told their children not to play with hats etc but I don't think it's a big deal - most children do seem to get them at some point and it seems pretty unavoidable.

[hmb]

Dh didn't get them for that very reason I found the combing easy to do, once the kids were bribed and I put on a videa for them to watch. I found it quite therapeutic in an odd, and faintly revolting, sort of a way. I'm still laughing at you MIL sending you clippings! Could you retaliate by sending her pictures of lice???

[Jimjams]

The first time ds1 had lice I wasn't even sure what they were having never come across them before - I was saying "oh god he's got lice" and MIL was saying "no they're not they're flies" (!!!)

[Janstar]

About the trick with conditioner - I didn't mean it made it easier for me to comb, but that it was easier or anyway more effective at getting rid of the lice. You see they can't hang on when the hair is so slippery.

[hmb]

Jimjams, you could buy your mother in law these for Christmas.

[hmb]

And boy does she do 'denial' or what???

[Jimjams]

I am sooooo tempted hmb Don't even get me started on denial and MIL " so and so's son was EXACTLY the same as ds1- his speech was EXACTLY the same at that age, and his language, and now he's got 10 GCSE's all A*'s"

Aagghhhhhhh

I second Janstar's tip as well- the more conditioner the better.

[Blu]

Thanks, that's all very useful! I notice that most people do tell freinds/nursery etc tho', and it was the fact that both times it was just mentioned in conversation rather than as helpful info that irritated me a bit. But I will perhaps bring it up in a casual way..and avoid a family feud. The whole subject has made me itch...must rush off for a fine toothed comb....

[Blu]

P.S Jimjams, I can't see anything wrong with your apostrophes...unlike my spelling of friends!

[myalias]

My problem is a bit tricky my friend's ds and her grandson get head lice on a regular basis. Her ds catches them from her other friends kids and the mother will not take any preventative measures to clear up the problem. My 2 ds have had them on and off for the last few months. I always mention it to anyone who has been in contact with my children beforehand. Whenever I mention this to my friend she always says 'oh yes I was going to mention that the kids had them again' ahh! I have said to her if the kids get them again tell me at the first opportunity she never does. I don't think her methods are working as her ds has long, thick unruly curly hair, he's forever itching.
I use an electronic nit comb then I wash all of our hair and using 4 drops of neat tea tree oil mixed into any conditioner leave on hair for a few minutes then use wet comb method. It usually gets rid of the little blighters within a few days. The tea tree oil can kill them instantly, A pharmacist I used to work with passed on this tip. It's making my head itch just typing this.

[misdee]

my 2 dd had headlice almost a year ago when i was living at the refuge. my dd2 was only 8weeks at the time so i was a tad upset, but we just all spent nights wet combing all 13kids hair and ours for weeks at a time to try and clear them up. but the problem was coming fromn the school the older kids attended. for me the problem only really cleared up when i was moved to a 2nd stage flat with just me and my kids. i now wet comb on a weekly basis (my dd1 calls it a bug check), and so far so good, none of the lodgers have returned. but i know the problem may come back when dd1 starts nursery in 2 weeks time.

[Utka]

I discovered lice on my dd about 3 weeks ago, and was horrified. My main worry was whether I'd failed to notice she'd got them, and she'd been uncomfortable for ages.

Getting rid of them seemed relatively straightforward, although we did resort to the louse shampoos (dd has severe eczema and the conditioner trick therefore makes things much worse). We found a good lotion that is kind to sensitive skin (and good for asthmatics, which was helpful as dh is, and he needed treatment too).

After we'd got rid of them, my MIL, who was looking after dd for a few days, got a recommendation of a homeopathic treatment from her pharmacist (Mother Earth). She just bought the 'post nit' bit of it - really nice drops containing tea tree oil, lavender etc., which you add to the rinse water after shampooing. There is also a preventative shampoo though. Has anyone tried this - various books I read on the subject seemed to suggest that preventative lotions don't work? Also, as I'm pregnant at the moment, I wasn't able to use the louse lotion - has anyone got any recommedations on stuff I could use, if I find I've got them (no sign yet, but I feel itchy when I think about it!)

DD's nursery (where I'm assuming she picked them up) were great, and just posted an anonymous notice alerting other parents. They washed all the dressing up clothes, including hats, but dd didn't have to stay away as we'd already taken steps to do something about it. They did thank me for telling them though - apparently some parents don't bother.

Given how much extra work was involved, combing through each night, washing all the bedclothes and towels and soft toys etc. I personally think it's irresponsible of parents not to let nursery /playschool etc. know. Everyone appreciates that it's really common, and that it's no one's fault, but people do have a right to be informed so that they can keep a look out. My approach was to let friends and family know, so that they could do this.