Do you feel upset about your friends ignoring your child?

[Booklover]

We haven't got any friends with kids (don't know why as we are 32 now....) and although they are all planning to have kids at some point I have the feeling that most of them are not really interested. Don't get me wrong, I am not planning to talk about typical baby stuff with them, as I know quite a few mums and we go to several baby groups but they could sound a bit excited when I tell them that ds has just started to crawl etc. Some of them don't even acknowledge him when we meet, I get two kisses and my ds not even a "hello". A couple of my friends love ds to bits and I feel so much closer to them now than to the others.....does anyone have the same "problem" with friends?

[leglebegle]

I had kind of the opposite problem. I vividly remember being pregnant with my first and being out for lunch in London with 2 'hip' girlfriends. They waxed lyrical about how they would do it when they had kids blah blah blah. One of them said, "I would never go anywhere without my baby, I'd go for nights out, go to friends houses for dinner, why does my baby have to hinder my social life? I don't understand people who get babysitters". I remember at the time thinking "what planet are you on, and why are you lecturing me when you aren't even bloody pregnant" but I am happy to report this friend uses sitters as much as the rest of us. Maybe the penny finally dropped its actually quite nice to have a night out on your own and babies don't fit in with your social life. when you get them sleeping at 7pm, nothing's going to set you back from that thanks very much!! as for me, I was pretty crap as a singleton, I was scared to even hold my best friends baby, something I cringe about now. don't be too hard on them, they might come around, but ignoring your children is not on, I'd refer to it specifically and say something like "will you hold x whilst I go the loo".

[Cristina7]

I remember pre-children days too and I would agree with Wordsmith. I used to find talk about children boring but something you'd put up with for a short while. For this reason, I don't talk much to my friends about DS. When he's around he can't be ignored because he's very sociable.

A couple of weeks ago I was mentioning to one of my childless friends that DS (5) still has the occasional peeing accident at night. She was horrified and asked me what the child psychologist had to say about this. Thankfully there was another mum present there to say you wouldn't involve a psychologist for what is still normal behaviour at this age. I will admit that I probably made comments just as stupid as hers before children. She's now 17 weeks pg and we are having long chats on the phone about pregnancy. She's becoming fascinated by the whole process.

[nightowl]

i like kids but im very awkward around them...i always was. now im a mother im slightly better but still i cant pick up someone elses child and do the baby talk thing. it just isnt me. i adore my own kids but im really not so interested in anyone elses. kids in general just scare me. its no excuse but i expect the childless friends may feel like that..i imagine it isnt that they dont like your child booklover, they just dont know what to say to him. most of my childless friends dont really understand the mum thing but they do love my kids and make a fuss, im lucky in that way...but when im faced with my other friends' kids i dont know what to do! i surpose it depends on the kind of person you are..and im one who cant do the affectionate thing with kids who arent mine. so perhaps its not about the fact that they dont have kids, just who they are? im sure they dont mean to hurt your feelings.

[decmum]

I'm looking forward to the grovelling apologies from mine when they eventually have kids and realise how completely useless they were.

Couple of them do say 'sorry I've been such a bad friend' but then carry on being just as useless as they were before.