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Thoughts?

32 replies

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:01

If you found out a friend was leaving his youngest DS at home (18 months) in his cot asleep whilst he collected hs eldest DS from pre-school (3 years) what would your reaction be? Would it matter how long the child was left for?

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HunkerMunker · 28/01/2005 23:24

No, no, no. I will have a shower while DS is asleep (his bedroom is right next to bathroom - I'm normally more worried about waking him up than anything else!), I will watch the TV (if he cries I'll still hear him - if upstairs through tissue-thin wall, if downstairs over baby monitor), I will hang the washing out, dally on MN (), put the bin out, etc, etc. However, I wouldn't leave my property (and since it's a mid-terrace in London, it's hardly got 'land' to speak of!) and the idea of leaving DS in his cot while I nipped to the shops or to pick another child up from school leaves me cold.

The what-ifs scenarios don't bear thinking about. I'm glad something's been said to SS about this - I just hope it stops him in his tracks (as for the mum who knew about it and condoned it - not sure who's worse really).

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 23:10

Its the first time a parent acquaintance of mine has revealed they are committing a no-no. I was/am shocked and have been worrying about it ever since. And I know JM, that is why I had to speak to the Mum and say to her what I had said to the Dad, they are both responsible.

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jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 23:06

i dont care - as far as im concerned they have a joint responsibility for the safety of the child...... GRRRRRRRRRRR

SPARKLER1 · 28/01/2005 23:04

I can't stop thinking about this. Such irresponsible people.

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 23:02

Not that it matters but it is the Dad that is leaving them, the Mum is at works but she knows about it.

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jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 23:00

im pleased someone is doing something. it is a disgrace and something needs to be done. im going to stop there before i possibly say something i might regret but just so you know i am very at this woman and i dont even know her.

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:58

PS. I had to call the Dad today and I think SS may have paid him a visit as he was really off with me (not that I care how he feels).

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WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:57

Jessicasmummy

Another of my friends has called SS. My friend told me and then I saw his wife the next day and I had a word with her about it as I wanted to know what was going on. Then the following day I got together with another friend who knows this family and spoke to her about it.

Somewhat stupidly I was worried about getting involved but my friend said now she knows she would ahve to make a call. In future I will not worry about these things and go with my intuition, I felt I should do something but was worried I was over reacting.

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helsi · 28/01/2005 22:50

I heard a similar story from someone I know of in Wales. One of her aquaintences left her baby asleep whilst she ran her DH to work each morning. I agree with what has been said - what if they had a crash or in that time the house caught fire?

jessicasmummy · 28/01/2005 22:49

I would social services straight away - no questions asked, no spot checking. it is absolutely disgusting and cannot believe that in this day and age anyone would seriously contemplate doing it. Many of us may want to do it a lot of times, but none of us could ever do it. I wont do anything while jess is napping... no showers no washing out - nothing. i dont even have the tv on in case i cant hear her crying. most of the time, im upstairs and trying to get my head down too. if she is asleep and i need to go out, she gets lifted and if she wants to go back to sleep, she can sleep in the car or in the buggy. This has made me soooooo angry..... i would call ss myself if you cat me the details.

Gwenick · 28/01/2005 22:48

MM - that must make me heartless cow then

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:46

I know, its such bollocks isn't it? So something has to happen to a child before any action is taken and then it would probably be too late, kwim?

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beansprout · 28/01/2005 22:46

Isn't it? I thought it was (not disagreeing, just gobsmacked).
Makes me go cold. I get fretful enough about leaving ds when I have to put the pushchair in the car and then come back and get him (and he is 3 months so he is not likely to move anywhere by himself!!!)

MistressMary · 28/01/2005 22:45

No Gwenick I'm a wee sensitive soul.

Aniles · 28/01/2005 22:44

I wouldn't do it and think it's highly irresponsible but would like to point out that, although a parent would be held responsible if any harm came to the child, it's not actually illegal to leave them on their own.

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:33

My friend told me this and I said it was not on and said even if house did not burn down what about X, Y and Z (accident, teacher wanting to see parent, child waking up alone etc) and friend justified by saying not gone long (although I think longer than they have said). Friend then said he had told his wife (they have seperated and although kids reside with her, she works and he is SAHD to all intents and purproses. Then I saw the wife and said could not believe that she condoned the youngest being left and she said she did not know but things that have since been said leads me to believe she does know and does not think huge issue.

Now wondering if I was over reacting, although general consensus is that I am not. Am going to do a spot check or two myself before thinking what to do as am concerned for the youngest.

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Gwenick · 28/01/2005 22:32

oh dear MM - you make me feel like an awful mother - I'm quite happy to put washing on the line, put the bin out or have a shower with both kids in the house

MistressMary · 28/01/2005 22:31

NO WAY!
The house could catch fire, be burgled, child be in distress, be ill, mum involved in accident,etc........

NO WAY!

I feel bad enough putting the bin out or even having a shower!

spod · 28/01/2005 22:30

that is truely appauling. my dd is 15 months, i would not leave her in the house asleep or awake! so much can happen in 20 seconds, let alone 20 mins

SPARKLER1 · 28/01/2005 22:27

I am totally shocked that someone could do that.

Gwenick · 28/01/2005 22:25

In that case WCL - definitely not......even if not 'dangerous' happened in the house the child could still wake unexpecedtly and be left crying and alone!!!

WestCountryLass · 28/01/2005 22:22

Its not a trick question, the house is not next to the school. To get to the school you would have to drive 150m to traffic lights, turn right, drive another 20ms turn right, another 50ms turn right, 20ms turn right and the school would be about another 75ms. Friend says only gone for 10 minutes but I think more like 20 when considering parking car, collecting child, car seat getting home etc.

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PicadillyCircus · 28/01/2005 22:13

I wouldn't be happy about it. Especially after DH told me today about an 8 month old that he heard about that fell out of its cot .

Gwenick · 28/01/2005 22:08

Ahh but sparkler it COULD make a difference how close the house is to the pre school.

I imagine come September I MAY drop DS1 off at school while leaving DS1 along in the house occasionaly...........but then I do live RIGHT Next to the school (my garden wall is also the school wall on two sides!). And the school gate is closer to my front door than my washing line is from the back door!!!

However, my situation is very 'unique' as not many people live that close to their schools - as a majority rule I would say definitely not - I'd never go out of sight of my house while either of my kids where in there.

open · 28/01/2005 22:08

I wouldn't, but can see the temptation.

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