Is it ok to say "no gifts" on a party invitation?

[Julysky]

I'll be celebrating a significant birthday soon and am organising a party. I want to have friends and family attend without them feeling an obligation to buy a present, particularly as many will have to pay to travel to the event, but I worry that writing "no gifts" on the invitation sounds presumptuous. Is there any way around this? I don't want to request charity donations either, I'd just prefer them to not have to shell out any extra money.

[Dotty2dot]

Most people will feel uncomfortable not bringing a gift to a birthday party. I'd just let them.

[BasiliskStare]

I think "No gifts" is fine - I have seen this often - sometimes " No presents just bring yourselves. "

[Attackofthekillereggs]

I think that no gifts is absolutely fine, but if all your invitees are MN-ers, then this request is impossible to process and they will take it to mean that they should bring a "token" gift - whatever that is - and they usually cost more than I would spend on a "proper" gift in the first place. If it's a child's party (which yours isn't) then "pop some money in a card" seems to be the usual interpretation.

No gifts. It's just two simple words, but don't expect people to actually understand what they mean.

Enjoy your party OP and I hope that it is gift-free! although this is unlikely

[Dotdashdottinghell]

"No gifts, I just want to see you"

[WhateverMate]

They don't have to shell out extra money, but if they choose to as adults, that's up to them.

So on that basis I wouldn't say anything.

[MadDogMama]

'Kindly, no gifts please. Your presence is my present'

[Redredredundant]

@WhateverMate

They don't have to shell out extra money, but if they choose to as adults, that's up to them.

So on that basis I wouldn't say anything.

They don’t have to, but people feel obligated not to show up empty handed.

“No gifts, just bring yourselves!”

[CuteCillian]

Some cringey phrase "Your presence is present enough" usually makes the point.

[INeedToClingToSomething]

I don't like "no gifts" sounds like too much of an instruction which immediately puts my back up! And I'd think piss off. If I want to buy a gift I'll bloody buy a gift. But I don't like being told what to do! 😂

I'd probably say something like "Please don't feel that you have to buy a gift, your presence is present enough". Make it less of an instruction and more of a "I'm thinking of you" which is what you are doing.

[WhateverMate]

"Please don't feel that you have to buy a gift, your presence is present enough"

I think I'd turn up with a huge lump of cheese if I read that 😁

[Hollyhead]

I have this same dilemma especially because there are some people I want to invite who I do generallly exchange gifts with! But there are other people who I really don’t want to put under any pressure I would just love to see them.

[Justfinking]

Of course!

[CarrotOfPeace]

Even if you say no gifts some people will bring gifts. Please accept them graciously

[LizzieBet14]

For my aunty's 80th birthday she asked for no gifts but donations to a local hospice if they wanted to give something.

[MamaMode]

@MadDogMama

'Kindly, no gifts please. Your presence is my present'

This

[theduchessofspork]

It’s fine and quite common.

Some people will ignore it - Asking for donations to a charity if people want to is the best way to limit that

[Rocknrollstar]

You could set up a Just Giving site in aid of your chosen charity. We did this and raised £1000 for the local hospice but several people still gave us gifts as well.

[Beansandneedles]

@Julysky

I'll be celebrating a significant birthday soon and am organising a party. I want to have friends and family attend without them feeling an obligation to buy a present, particularly as many will have to pay to travel to the event, but I worry that writing "no gifts" on the invitation sounds presumptuous. Is there any way around this? I don't want to request charity donations either, I'd just prefer them to not have to shell out any extra money.

We say 'please, presence not presents!' and have found in our circle this is increasingly normal. It's so refreshing to live in a place where people respect the autonomy of the person throwing the soiree rather than their own wants/needs.

[Boomboxio]

No gifts please, I have enough tat already 😂 (joking obviously)

[whatisforteamum]

My parents said your presence is our present at a big family do.
Many people can't afford travel,new clothes and S present these days.

[Dearg]

A friend suggested donations for the local dog shelter - toys, snacks , bedding etc. She put together a van load to take to them.

We have a local children’s charity which has a wish list on various on line stores, that would be a good shout for gifting.

[Whenwillilikehimagain]

'I'm after your presence not presents. Please no gift, I just can't wait to see you.'

[Whenwillilikehimagain]

@Whenwillilikehimagain

'I'm after your presence not presents. Please no gift, I just can't wait to see you.'

Or 'Please no presents. Your presence is the greatest gift you could give me'

[teaandakitkat]

We went to an 80th birthday party where the birthday girl asked us to gift her a photo from her lifetime. They were all stuck up on noticeboards in the function room and it was lovely.

She asked in a nice way, I don't know if we still have the invite to show the wording. I'll have a look