Any tips of getting rid of a DUMMY?

[ELMTREE]

My dd is 2 and a half and always wants her dummy and her cuddle blanket. She has just started pre school, but thats another story. I would like to try and cut the dummy out or at least down but not sure how to go about doing it, as when i have in the past she has gone mental. How come when you watch supernanny most children will give them up no problems.

[ELMTREE]

Not going to bad here. Not had her dummy in the day at all (unless she has a nap) since monday now. Dreading pre-school tomorrow morning as know she will get upset but really dont want to go backwards.

[ghosty]

When DD was a baby (about 6 months) I started taking the dummy out of her mouth when she was sitting happily playing. So, early on she got used to only having it for comfort or sleep rather than always.
By 18 months the dummy was mainly in the bedroom only so sometimes she would go very quiet and I would be calling for her and I would find her in her room sitting on the floor sucking her dummy. Often, if she heard my coming she would quickly put it back in her cot and look all innocent
Anyway, I couldn't face taking it away from her completely until she was 3 and a half and we lost it just before bedtime.
I thought we would have a night from hell but she slept well and when she found it the next day she put it in the bin saying, "I don't need it anymore, Mummy, I am a big girl now!"
My advice is wait until she totally understands what you are doing ...

[ELMTREE]

Ok yesterday went ok. She only had it at naptime and bedtime. We made an envelope to put on her bedroom door that it to Santa. Ive told her that santa needs the dummies to be in there in the morning to help him search for a pony and he will put them back at bedtime, but then on christmas eve he needs them all as an exchange for the pony. Dont think she has grasped that bit yet, but one step at a time. The idea of getting rid of the dummy in the day is much worse than the reality.

[EricL]

Start talking about this now so it is firmly planted in their heads.

The dummy needs to be given to Santa at Christmas in order to swap it for presents.

It worked for me. Made a big fuss of putting it on tray with carrot and mince pie, etc., then threw it away in wheelie bin when asleep.

She never asked for it again.

[Mamadadude]

Right, I've had a go!

Last night I asked for the dummy from DD (age 2) while in her high chair so she could have her tea (she had it a lot yesterday) and then I showed her it was broken (she'd chewed through it) and said "It's broken shall we put it in the bin?"

She said yes so I put it in the kitchen bin.

At bedtime she asked for it and I reminded her it was broken and in the bin. Heard her saying "Mummy, I need a nut-nut" (her word for it!) down the monitor and a couple of little cries then it went quiet and ten minutes later she was fast asleep!

She woke up a couple of times last night and asked for it again but we just said it was broken and in the bin and she went back to sleep.

She's just gone down for her lunchtime nap - I reminded her about the dummy being broken and she's gone to sleep without a bother.

Nowhere near as bad as I expected! Phew!

[ELMTREE]

OK an update. From my previous post, I took the dummy off my dd and told her that Santa needs her dummy to help him find her pony that she is getting for christmas. (Mad about ponies) She did ask for it quite a few times but in a soft voice i simply told her the same about santa. She didnt have a nap yesterday and went to childminder and didnt have it at all then either. Hubby picked her up at 5pm, i came home, we had dinner and she never asked for it once. She did after her bath as I think she was so tired so I told her that Santa has bought it back for her just for bedtime. She now hasnt got it this morning and will see how that goes. I think she will have a nap today thou as was up early.

[sallysparrow]

I love the idea of giving the dummy to a baby cow!

Did it eat the dummy?

[tigger32]

Sorry pinkteddy but i have to agree with susianna, ds1 had a dummy from about 6 weeks until 2 1/2, he was an early talker who spoke much better than most of friends and every time we visit the dentist he comments on his lovely teeth! My niece however sucks her thumb (my sister hates dummies) and didn't even start to try to talk until she was nearly 2 and even now its not great speech. I think that all children are so different and will do things in their own time, they all have their own needs. Some need to suck to give them comfort and some don't! And at least you can throw a dummy away should you want to, but children suck their thumbs for as long as they like and there is nothing that can be done!

[AttillaTheHan]

Oh and I agree with hellish don't confuse christmas with the end of dummies. It also could double your stress at christmas.

We did it in october I think.

[AttillaTheHan]

When our ds was 2.6 we explained about the dummy fairy and he chose what toy/ gift he would get in return for giving away all his dummies.
Just before bedtime we collected them all up and put them in a bag at the front door.
He was told in no uncertain terms that he had to go straight to sleep or the fairy might not come.
The next morning he found a fairy bag by the door with a teddy in. The fairy's note explained that the new teddy could cuddle him every time he missed his dummy.
It worked like a dream. He asked for the dummy about twice but never with much conviction. Loves his teddy...
Good luck.

[ziopin]

We took our ds2 to a local farm and he gave it to a baby cow!!

Took 5 minutes to settle that night, but that was it!

[hellish]

Just one thing- surely Santa would NEVER take away something you love away. Why would you ruin Christmas?

[Fibrav]

My DS is nearly two and a couple of months ago had his dummy a fair amount in the day - every time he needed calming down from something, as well as nap and bed times.
We started to put them in the cot in the day, so he had to go in if he wanted the dummy.

Now using the cot bed, so he could get them, so we did some handprints and now the dummies live behind these up on the shelf during the day. He wants it more when he can see the dummy!

We started getting stricter - it takes a little(!) effort to distract him instead of using it but he now only has it bed/naps/car (not strong enough for that one yet!).

Will use the present/santa route by the time he's 3...

Good luck LoveMyGirls - wait until a calm day then go for it and be strong!:-)

[LoveMyGirls]

It's not going so well here, dd2 is miserable without it (yeah i know she is going to be but im talking not the same child!) we have been strong up until today when she woke up with a stinking cold on top of her fractured colar bone so im giving in ill try again in a few weeks when she is better in the mean time i will slightly cut down her use of it but not going to stop her having it completely.

[twelveyeargap]

Sorry, we buried her dummy... Bit slow this morning.

[twelveyeargap]

My uncle gave me a book he used for his DD called The Last Noo Noo about a baby monster who buries his dummy and it grows a tree.

By the time DD remembered there was supposed to be a tree, she didn't need the dummy any more.

[ELMTREE]

Thank you all so much for your views and theories, I am going to cut down on the amount of time she has it. Not sure if DH will be able to put up with the wingeing theou and will prob give in. Maybe if i hide them from him aswell. Going to start today. In fact dummy is under my leg at the moment while dd is asking for it. Ill keep you all informed.

With regard to whether it does anything to their speech, I just dont like the way she speaks with it in her mouth and im sure her teeth are protruding slightly......just my view.

[mrsmalumbas]

Bribery here too, but in DD's case it was a Barbie scooter. She agreed to it, whimpered a bit the first night and then never even mentioned it ever again after that. Mind you she was 3

[cornflakemummie]

I used bribery!!! I brought a pot of 20 dinosaurs for my ds when he was 2 1/2. He got one for going to bed without it and another one in the morning if he went right through the night. If he really wanted it he could but he had to give me back a dinosaur! He was a bit reluctant at first but soon got the idea of the game and enjoyed "earning" his reward. He also liked the thought that if he REALLY wanted it he could but he never wanted it enough to give back a dinosaur!!

[JoshandJamie]

My DS turned 2 two weeks ago. I warned him the week before his birthday that on his birthday we were going to a special fair (a county show) and that at the fair, we were going to throw his dummy in the bin and in return he'd get chocolate buttons (smarties).

I said it so often that we got to the point where if I said dummy, he said 'bin'.

So at the show, we duly went over to a big bin and I asked him if he wanted to say bye to his dummy and get chocolate buttons. He gave it a last suck and then threw them in the bin (I have to say, I nearly cried - it was an end of an era).

Anyway, he got his chocolate buttons. When he got tired later on he yelled for it but we didn't have it so couldn't give in. He fell asleep.

He was unsettled the first two nights - but not nearly the screamfest I expected. He spent one week waking at night and now he has completely forgotten about it. Well nearly - he still occasionally asks for it if upset - but I just say: where is your dum? And he says: bin. And we move on.

Honestly, a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. So I would say, whatever you game plan is, give warning, have a treat in store, don't back down and don't have any in the house. Ride it out. It will be over soon. Good luck

PS - you should also try to cut down on dummy use before you get rid of it - so only let her have it at naptimes for example. That way it's easier. Also introduce some of other kinds of comforter - like her blankie or a teddy as a replacement.

[Mamadadude]

My DD has just turned two and has started chewing hers. I've thrown a couple away as she bit right through them and now I have just two left. Don't really want to buy more. I was planning to get her to leave them for Father Christmas but I can't see them lasting that long! Might just bin them if she chews through the rest and say there's no more. Not sure if I'm brave enough though!

[OzJo]

With Dd she was about 2 and a half, just had the dummy for nightime, but very attatched to it...we used the dummy fairy to get her to give it up...let her know that the dummy fairy needs the big girls dummies to melt down to make new dummies for the just born babies....On the night itself she was dead upset, cried herself to sleep ( 10 minutes )but was very pleased with the little ballerina box that she got. She was a bit upset the next night, but no wailing, then fine. With my son, he started getting a bit ambivilant about useing it when 14 months or so, so we just stopped using it..save all the fannying around later on.
Good luck,

[Susianna]

Thankyou for those links. Although I do think an orthodontist might know more about tooth problems than a literacy website, that's just my opinion.
It does seem to say that it can only cause tooth decay if dipped in sweet stuff, and I think most of us would be aware of the foolishness of doing that!
I can see the point about persistent sucking causing infection to shift between points inside the ear canal etc. as that makes sense.
I suppose Ds wasn't really in the thick of it though as he only started using one when he was around 2 - occasional and nothing more - I did even try to give him one as a small baby, but he just spat it out.
I think if he had taken to it and been truly dependant it would have started to piss me off. But I think by the time a child is four or more, they usually aren't so much at risk of problems caused by it. Certainly Ds (may be an exception) has speech that is commented on by nearly everyone we meet - ie huge vocabulary and very clear. However if he has his dummy in, he talks appallingly so I have been known to shout 'take that thing out, I can't understand you!'

The only thing that really upsets me is when people we don't know tell him he's too old etc. It upset him a lot (and me) when he returned to preschool, very fragile after the birth of his brother, to have it taken away by the helper there - and his bottle, which he does still have for comfort - saying he was a 'big boy now', this was when he was crying and I had gone home. I couldn't believe the insensitivity at that moment in his life!

I would say don't worry too much if your child still has one at 3, 4...he never misses it these days and only uses one if he finds it under the bed or something!

[pinkteddy]

well I don't think everyone would agree with your orthodontist Chantilly see here and
also here. Also many speech therapists do think they have an affect on speech skills.