Christmas has been hard

[Whatsgoingonwithmyhead]

Only child age 5

No other kids in wider family

Adult family didn’t really engage with DC, exacerbating already lively attention seeking behaviour

I didn’t enjoy a single meal all Christmas- every meal time was ruined by appalling behaviour from DC, ending up in full blown tantrum style antics

DC completely overwhelmed, over tired

Does anyone actually enjoy this????

Back to work after the weekend, and I am on my knees with exhaustion

Christmas was hard.

I’m really sorry your Christmas was hard. We have one child too, a 2 year old, she has no cousins, and we had a lovely Christmas. She had at least one tantrum and wouldn’t eat any dinner so instead watched tv on the iPad. But the adults, her grandparents and aunt and uncle did engage with her, why didn’t your family? Would it be better to spend next year just with you, DC and DP if you have one? No pressure for a sit down meal, just playing with toys at home?

I think Christmas is often hard, partly because there is so much societal expectation that it will be fun. I think if it didn't work out this year it's okay just to move on and aim for a better week next week.

Thank you

I just need to feel heard right now

Yes I think next Christmas just the three of us.

I just feel DC would be sad not to see wider family. She just blindly adores them and does not really see that they kind of ignore her most of the time 😢

I feel your pain. We’ve had some success in this scenario with board games now dd is a little older. Maybe next year there will be some games all the generations will engage with? Our Christmas Day looked like: open presents, play with some, Christmas lunch, play games at the table, Christmas pudding, TV. Previous years I’ve taken dd outdoors to try out presents, eg skateboard/roller skates, which helped us both!

I think your family are the problem here. Enjoy next year with just the three of you and enjoy her excitement.

As the parent of an only I would recommend

• limit time with older family- obviously have time with them, but don't spend days - and have floor-level expectations of them
• be fairly ruthless about ignoring oldies yourself; spend your time with DD. If they want to talk to you,.make sure you and DD come as a package
• give presents that need engagement and which can at least potentially have appeal for adults: Duplo, marble runs, Meccano are all good for joint work; books obviously also good

-agree about finding boisterous family games that work for this age - Uno and Dobble are good

• look for active things you can do with friends' families. Round here i organised Boxing Day rounders for all ages - many families happy to send children out to us for an hour. As a parent if an only, you need other children more than they need you.

Don't expect much fun yourself.

I find being outside a lot helps. We have 3 year old and spent most of Christmas just myself, dh and toddler.
No expectations so like a Normal week. Went skiiing and sledging and ice skating (not uk), swimming a few times, bike rides, park, zoo.

This sounds hard. My nephew is very attention seeking and I admit we avoided him a bit now I think if it, I guess so as to not reinforce that behaviour.
if you can get your DC to do something quietly on their own, then ask an amenable adult to engage, would that reward a different behaviour and also get DC some attention?

I'm sorry this happened OP. If I'm honest, we avoid my nephew at family events as his behaviour is challenging and the attention seeking was on another level on Christmas.

We have decided we will do Christmas separately this year as he really ruined our day.

Hopefully your family will do the same and you'll be able to enjoy Christmas your own way.

I’d reiterate what the earlier poster said. Have next Christmas with the 3 of you.

We are in a similar situation. Our DC is 2 and next youngest person in our extended family is 17.

Grandparents are either deceased or extremely elderly.

This means that at all times of the year, not just Christmas, we operate pretty much as a standalone little family. I love every minute of it. We do what we want, when we want without having to try and please others.

Christmas was great. I suspect the yours will be too next year if you focus solely on the 3 of you.