Started nursery - no social anxiety

[Bluedragon86]

My daughter has just turned 12 months and is a very happy smiley little girl who loves to meet new people. She is meeting all her milestone and is always waving, and smiling at people, she loves to go to the supermarket and see new people and she always smiles and waves at everyone she meets. This week she started nursery and I was surprised at how well she has adapted to it, she didn’t cry when I left her and happily went to her key worker. They said she’s been very relaxed and happy all day and hasn’t cried once.
should I be concerned that she’s not showing any signs of social anxiety? Could this be a possible sign of autism?
When I collected her she smiled at me and kicked her legs when I picked her up but she’s not bothered in anyway when I drop her off in the morning.

Why would it be a sign of autism?

I worked on day care for a long time and plenty of children take to it like a duck to water with no upset at all. I wouldn't be concerned about autism if the only sign is she's confident going off to nursery.

I think you are overthinking this. Massively.

I was going to say neither of mine showed signs of social anxiety as babies. But one is autistic. The other one probably is too, but to a lesser extent.

If its any consolation to you, my DC are 9 and 7 and now have such bad social anxiety is a nightmare getting them to leave the house.

It will come! I always say those who don't cry at settling will start a few weeks down the line when the novelty has worn off.

Don't know why you thought of autism tbh.

Some take to it straight away, some start crying few months in.

She's happy so it's a positive. It's far worse when they do actually cry

Apologies if I sounded flippant.

I guess what I mean is what you've described is a common thing and as you don't mention any other worries and if it's only that she didn't cry on her first day then no, I wouldn't be worried about that one it's own.

Most of the children we have had with autism have actually been upset and taken a little while to get used the the change in routine and all the extra people. Then some have adapted much quicker. Each child is different, and settles differently, it's not uncommon for some to be totally fine and not cry, it's also not uncommon for some to take a little while, with it without autism.

I will also do my own dd went off and didn't look back and it kind of hurt that she didn't miss me because I was expecting her to struggle as for her first year we loved so rural there was no play groups and dh worked away so it was just me and her almost 24/7 but she was so happy, which made me 99 per cent happy but I'd be a liar if I said I didn't cry all the way home and I one percent wanted her to miss me, which is silly I know.

And this too. Some children could be fine for months and months. Have a week break for a family holiday and struggle on their return.

Say what now??? You think there's something wrong with your dd just cause she's happy when she goes to nursery? My dd was the same. she would toddle off as she loved playing and being doted on by the caregivers. I was happy she wasn't upset, to me it meant she felt secure and they were treating her well. She's a very chill kid now and not autistic.

My kids were both fine at nursery. They are now teens and remain secure and happy. They do not have ASD.

Some children are just very, very adaptable. They're not overwhelmed by having access to lots of new toys and people and things to do but view it as a treat. It's often just because they're very secure and confident in their attachments - there's not necessarily any other reason for it. All children are different.

Nothing to worry about, ds was like this, went through a brief clingy phase at around 20 months but generally no trouble getting to nursery or school.
He's 10 now, sociable and quite independent. It's like anything else, children just all have different personalities.

Talk about giving yourself something to worry about.

Lots of children around that age will be happy and settled when starting nursery, especially if they are generally easy going. You may have phases where she is less settled during certain periods of development. Many of the autistic children we have cared for find the transition to nursery difficult so being happy isn't a sign of anything like that, if she has autism there will be many traits and behaviours through the next year or so that would flag it up.

Seems like a secure little girl

My DD started at 13.5 months after never being left with anyone before due to Covid. She’s now nearly 3 and has never cried at nursery, she loves it.
She doesn’t demonstrate any autism signs so far. She is very shy with strangers and new places but doesn’t cry. She’s just a fairly chilled character with good attachment.

Honestly I’d be delighted. DD started nursery at nine months and it was absolute hell to settle her. Other babies were settling at the same time and I saw quite a few crawl off without a backward glance and was very envious!

Some kids show separation anxiety and some don't. Some attend nursery or childminder for months and then suddenly start struggling and some never struggle.
I'm curious as to why you would even consider asd from this positive start???

You think she's possibly autistic because she DOESNT have social anxiety?
I think you are confused.

Is your baby used to being cared for by other people? Grandparents or friends? Have you introduced her to lots of people? Chances are if you have she is happy and secure and not bothered about not being with you all the time. Good for you OP! Sounds like a happy little kid there :)

I'd say my first daughter was like this. She's always been laid back, cheerful and happily goes with the flow.

My second daughter got upset for a whole year before finally looking forward to nursery. She's much more highly strung and a little anxious at times.

They're 8 and 5 now and neither has any sign of ASD whatsoever.