Give it time or change nurseries? Please help

[PrincessConsuela12]

My DS started nursery almost a year ago at 11 months old, we've had no issues & he settled in really well until a few weeks ago when he went up to the toddler group. The first week he was fine & went in happily however when I picked him up I noticed he had a soiled nappy, I thought maybe it had happened just before I arrived & the nursery staff didn’t notice but the next time I picked him up his sleeve was soaking wet, it was a really cold day too so I would’ve expected them to have changed his vest & jumper. Since then he has been crying and clinging to me at drop off, it’s awful & so unlike him, handing him over & walking away from him shouting no mummy no is awful & I dread the days he goes.
He went up with 3 of his friends from the baby group & looks happy in the photos I get sent but this change in him worries me.
His behaviour at home has changed too, he’s skipped a few afternoon naps (very unlike him), has had some restless nights & is quicker to get upset / angry.
My instinct is saying change nurseries but am I rushing this decision? Is this typical toddler behaviour (he’ll be 2 in April)? Or do I give it some time to see if it gets better?

[DropYourSword]

My son used to cry and sob going into nursery after he was moved into the next room up.
He then started standing facing the wall and crying. He was clearly not happy.

Dropped him off one morning and one of the staff members said "oh, here's the tantrum boy". That was the final straw for me.

It's much easier to move nurseries than it is to move schools. If your child isn't happy then yeah, I'd look at moving them.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Can you discuss with the nursery? How long does he nap for currently- maybe time to shorten it.

[PrincessConsuela12]

@DropYourSword oh goodness, that's horrible. I would've done the same. You're right, it is easier, I just worry I'm rushing things too quickly & it'll disrupt him more.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers around an hour at nursery & 2 at home. With his recent night wake ups I'm reluctant to lessen his naps at the minute as he's so tired but before this I had been thinking of cutting them down (once he's sleeping through again)

[PrincessConsuela12]

Sorry, I missed your other message, @OnlyFoolsnMothers I think I'm going to. I did have a quick word last week & the lady said she hadn't realised she was upset in the morning because she was fine as soon as she got in & happy all day. I was wondering if it's 1 particular staff member she wasn't happy with but not sure how to word it without sounding rude

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

I would word it as a question “how is he taking to the new rooms staff”

[Arucanafeather]

Yes move! My daughter stopped enjoying nursery after going up to the pre school room. Took me a while to notice, took me a while to realise discussing with nursery wasn’t going to change anything. Changed her to another nursery and she loved it from day one. Wish I’d never taken her back after the first time I had noticed. Different nurseries have different approaches and different feels. Different work environments suit different people and nursery is no different. There is a difference between “I would rather be with Mummy” & “I’m unhappy at nursery”. If there is any chance it is the second then I would change in a flash.

[PrincessConsuela12]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers thank you, simple & doesn't sound rude at all. Why couldn't I think of that 

@Arucanafeather I'm sorry your DD had an issue too. I don't think it's that he'd rather be with me, he happily spent time away from me over the weekend & he's usually very sociable which is why this is troubling me so much.

[Owieeee]

Definitely take him out op. Listen to your DC. He's telling you he doesn't want to be there. Often that nappy thing is a sign, are the workers there quite young? A lot of them are v poorly paid and hate doing nappy changes. Definitely take him out or look around for somewhere better

[PrincessConsuela12]

Sorry @Owieeee I've only just seen your response. Things seem to be improving but I'm keeping a close eye. It's funny you should ask about their age, yesterday I thought to myself how young all of the staff were & wondered if this was as 'normal' is most nurseries?

[Rosesanddaisies2020]

Has your son settled anymore at nursery now? My daughter has been similar, she was settled in the baby room and would walk straight in to nursery. Since going into the toddler room a couple of months ago she cries as soon as she realises she is going to nursery in the morning.
It makes me feel awful! I'm not sure what is causing it as she seems ok on the photos too. Sorry no advice but in similar position!

[Tumbleweed101]

We have a wide mix of ages at our setting from 60yr down to 20yr. Most are 30/40's. It is something to be aware of although I will say our 20yr staff are amazing and complimented with older staff it all runs well (20yr have the energy the rest of us the experience 🤣).

[PrincessConsuela12]

@Rosesanddaisies2020 it has thank goodness although every drop off I'm still feeling anxious. They said the other day he is talking more now which is great because he talks all the time at him and I was worried he wasn't being himself.
I hope things improve with your DD soon, it really is an awful feeling

[PrincessConsuela12]

@Tumbleweed101 I think a variety of ages is a great thing. In the baby group there seemed to be a better mix. I believe they move the staff around once in a while so we may see a few older ones in the coming months
(I'm not saying younger ones aren't good at their jobs, I just think it's ideal to have a mix)

[Lily7050]

@PrincessConsuela12 glad to read you DS is settled in the new nursery and likes it. I am in similar-ish situation but my DS is older, almost 3. I am not sure how to find out if he will like a new nursery. Do nurseries allow to do a few days of trial, just to see of a preschooler is happy in their nursery?

[PrincessConsuela12]

@Lily7050 The nurseries around here have some settling in days but not trial days afaik. I hope things improve for your DS soon

[Lily7050]

Thanks @PrincessConsuela12 . I will see if I can start DS part type, 2 days a week. If he prefers the new nursery then move him full time.