Nearly 38, no children, boyfriend doesn't want any...

[dreamingpixie]

I'm 38 years old next month, I've been with my boyfriend for only 9 months and he's said that he doesn't really want children before but I finally asked him outright on Saturday and he says that with the way the world is going he doesn't want to have children. He's 46 so it's not that he's too young to want them. He's my longest relationship - because I can always not see a future with men from very early on. Maybe being with him was me fooling myself thinking that I'm ready to have children but it takes much more than being with a good person.

I wasn't sure if I would ever have children and maybe I never will but I think I want them in the next few years. I'd definitely want more than one since I was an only child.

We had a scare in December where I thought I was pregnant and I was scared but so happy at the thought of being a mum. He was adamant that I should have an abortion, which I didn't want at all. Turns out I wasn't pregnant but I thought at the time, it's just not the right time, maybe one day, he'll want children with me. But he doesn't.

Even if I did have children, I think he's too negative and I don't want them being brought up with this view that life sucks and with a victim mentality.

Just wanted to vent. I feel like I'll never be a mum. He can have children at 60 if he chooses to, but I can't. I'm 38 shock/horror

[Octomore]

I also think, at 38, in your situation, staying you want multiple children is really far fetched

I agree. Best case scenario - you leave this guy and immediately find someone who wants children with you. You probably need to be with them for at least a year before you start TTC, which makes you 39 when you start trying for children. Let's say you're lucky and get pregnant within 6 months, baby will be born when you're 40. Then you will try again at, what, 42?

And that's the best case scenario if you're lucky.

I'm happily child free, but you're very naive if you think you have time to think idly about whether or not you might want children "in the next few years".

[filka]

He's 46 and definitely doesn't want kids, you're 38 and time is running out. It's just not going to work with your current boyfriend, either way one of you will grow to resent the other sooner or later.

Do you feel strongly enough about wanting kids to leave him and go it alone using a sperm donor?