Please read this with an assurance that I take responsibility for my action, but I am in emotional distress and need some help. I'm autistic and have severe noise sensitivity. I'm living with my three adult children and a partner who all say they are bending over backwards to be considerate about noise. I also live with the fact that my partner is the popular parent who gets love and respect, I am the opposite. My daughters have both acknowledged that I am routinely contradicted, dismissed and disagreed with on almost everything. I had an outburst of anger two years ago at one of my daughters after my mother's death and my kids or partner withdrew from me for months. To be clear I said terrible things but my mother had died three days before and my daughter had been flouting covid rules and as I thought then, endangering all of us. Recently I have been feeling increasingly angry, and sleep deprived.
Today I was kept awake by my daughter until 5 and at 8 am my partner, from whom I am estranged started making noise. And I have had another outburst of anger, throwing and breaking things. Again, to be clear it was terrible but I did not physically threaten anyone. My daughter attacked me, pushing me in the chest. I don't blame her for her anger. Now I am in despair, my son is refusing to speak to me and my youngest daughter who is already emotionally quite vulnerable, is traumatised. I am past hope at the moment and feel that I would take my own life, but for what it would do to my children. I am not going to do this, I am never going to. I don't want them to be unhappy.
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My loss of control
Randomword6 · 16/08/2022 15:22
Clarice99 · 17/08/2022 14:16
The first thing that sprang to mind when reading your post was
'how on earth does she cope?'
I was going to ask if there was any way you could move out, but you've answered that already, so why can't the adult children move out? And your estranged partner too?
Do you have your own room that you can escape to? Not ideal to be confined to one room in your own home, but it's better than being around 4 noisy adults.
I'm sorry for your loss 💐
Randomword6 · 17/08/2022 20:37
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I do have a room to escape to and I am very lucky. My room does need to be soundproofed but I don't know how to go about it. I have made some efforts, with door curtains and sticking egg boxes on the door, but it doesn't make much difference.
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