Help and tips needed for triplets!

[Tripletmammy]

I have 15 week old triplets (3 weeks corrected). They spent 10 weeks in the NICU and we have been home for 5 weeks. I am a single mother, temporarily back living with my parents, and hoping for any tips and tricks to help me on this new journey. Each day seems to be getting harder instead of easier.
Any multiple Mammy’s please help me and share anything that helped you with your little ones 😊 Thank you

[thatgirlinjapan]

I've got no advice but I'm sure others with tons of experience will be along soon.

I just wanted to say congratuations tbh and remind you that it won't be hard forever. I'm sure you're doing brilliantly albiet exhausted.

[keepingsanity]

Triplet mum here.

The first couple of years are brutal but it does get a lot better.

Zoe prams are good triple pram once they can sit in. A converted city jogger is a life saver. Wonderfold wagon works well for transfers from car to playgroup/shop etc

I kept to the feed and change every 4 hrs schedule for ages. Everyone knows where they are upto. Routine is king with triplets- keeps everyone sane.

You can get out with all of them at once, just plan in advance and abort mission if it goes to shit 😂. I.e order coffee in a takeout cup in cafes.

Church playgroups are usually good with lots of helpers to give you a hand. I called beforehand and explained the situation.

Drop the night feed as soon as you are comfortable (pending any required weight gain)

Email your local college and offer work experience for childcare or nursing students - I had three different ones which was great for an extra pair of hands. Also see if you can get a homestart volunteer in your area. Only a couple of hours a week but still useful.

I had a mothers help 1.5 days a week but it's dependant on finances, same with a cleaner.

Lots of helpful advice and support on triplet Facebook groups.

Buy most things second hand

Don't start anything you are not prepared to carry on.

Ignore stupid comments from strangers.

It really is brilliant- congratulations and well done

[keepingsanity]

Oh and I got the 15 hrs funding for 2year olds even though I wasn't eligible. It's council specific but do let me know if you need any tips. And it's worth a shot. But you need to be working 16 hours

[Tripletmammy]

@keepingsanity thank you very much for all this!
Do you have any tips on how to drop a night feed? The last feed before bed is 8pm, 2 of my triplets have recently started sleeping 5/6hours through to 1/2am but then only going 4 hours to the next feed and the other one is still waking every 4 hours during the night. By the time morning comes round the daytime feed schedule is all over as everyone has been fed different times during the night/early morning. Thank you

[keepingsanity]

Hi I'm not sure if it'll help but we fed them at 7 pm, 11 pm and then 2 am then at 6 am

We did this by waking them to feed them initially. So all got fed at once.

We dropped the 2 am feed as one day we were so tired we didn't wake up and they slept though. That was when we were happy with their weights.

I'd probably look to wake to feed all at once so they're all on one schedule and they are in sync.

Waking to feed is a choice though but it worked for us.

Occasionally one would be out of sync but the routine is good for you to keep track and to actually get some sleep.

[User478]

Join the twins trust (used to be tamba) -you get discounts on multiple purchases and their support is really good (and assumes you have at least 2)

[idontlikealdi]

With my twins if one woke to feed I woke the other one to feed to keep on schedule otherwise the whole day would just be feeding and would be even worse with triplets I'd imagine!

Re getting out I always kept the nappy bag stocked so it was ready to go which helped a bit.

Do you have a local twins / multiples club? Always spare pairs of hands to help out and loads of advice from parents who have been through it. There were two sets of triplets at mine.

Twins Trust is a good source of advice too, despite the name it's for twins and higher multiples. It's a while ago now but it used to be that if you join you get access to lots of discounts which came in handy.

Good luck!

[keepingsanity]

Also the sleeping does get better from around 5 months. Or it did for us. All babies are different though and you really are in the thick of it! Hunker down, it's survival right now and slowly things will get better and better. Mine are 5 now and have their moments but are a real joy.

Do what works for you and don't listen to people that don't have triplet experience- it's a different ball game with three.

It's still massively exhausting though so do ask for help if you have it. There is a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!!

[keepingsanity]

Sorry didn't mean for my comment to be offensive about not listening to people that don't have triplet experience 😳 what I mean is that what works for one or two doesn't necessarily work when you have three - people can give well intentioned advice but usually only had one baby at a time ❤️

[keepingsanity]

Oh any try to get out with them once a day - it's massively tiring but helps break up the day and gives you some people interaction.

I did it every day even just a walk to the shops as the alternative was to sit in and listen to three babies whinge all day 🤣

[MuchTooTired]

I only have twins, but the one piece of advice I imagine that would multiply up for triplets that was given to me by my MW who was also a twin mum was do everything twice/thrice so all babies stay on the same schedule. Feeds/changes/baths/sleeping etc. I found it to be hellish if my two got out of synch, so can only imagine how much harder it would be with three!

Definitely be kind to yourself, you matter too! No point trying to achieve perfection, lower your standards as low as you can go and focus on getting through.

Definitely look for a multiple club, mine was a godsend when mine were babies. Even if it’s just an online thing, just speaking to others who ‘got’ it helped me feel less alone.

[rosesandtulips4me]

Single twin mum here 👋🏻
Echo what another poster said about waking the other babies to feed at the same time.

I know they're very very controversial but doing it alone is tough so when mine were past the 12 week mark I bought a milky mate feeder, just the 1. And I would use it on one of babies (I'd alternate between feeds) to hold the milk bottle in place whilst I held the other and fed. My back was in pieces from trying to lean over and hold two bottles at the same time x times a day. I would never leave a baby unattended with the milky mate but it simply meant I could enjoy the joy of cuddles during feeding whilst the other twin was still right next to us.

Look into homestart, it's local authority dependant, they didn't work in my area but they do in many and I know they have been brilliant for my friends of multiples, all free.

Also look into local groups for parents of multiples.

[keepingsanity]

@rosesandtulips4me I used the milky mate too. Never unsupervised but it did help. Also used the big crescent moon cushions to prop them up in and three bouncers

[Donimo]

Twin mum here so no where near the same. But you mentioned how to drop the night feed. This maybe a little controversial but my twins had awful reflux and at the time undiagnosed cmpa so after mid night feed (2-3am) it was virtually impossible to get them back down. So once their weights were ok (about 3 months). We would feed 10.30-11 ish, if needed wake them for this feed. Then the next feed we tried to delay as much as possible with use of a dummy. So started putting it back to 3-4am then managed to get it to about 5am. And again would feed both twins together. This was honestly a game changer for us. They didn't sleep through from 11 till 5 but we could resettle them. Also I could resettle whilst I stayed in bed. Whereas if we fed them they would be screaming in agony for the rest of the night. Whilst doing this we were having them weighed every week to check they were doing ok