Advice badly needed re 3 year old boy twins-very nearly at wits end!!!!

[MilaMae]

Got 3 year old boy twins and a 2 year old girl, really finding it hard going at the moment. The boys aren't bad kids at all but I'm finding them really hard work at the moment. After pre-school they race around, 1 in particular tries to whip all 3 of them into a frenzy. He either keeps lobbing in a hand grenade in the form of a poke, etc then stands back or leaps around shouting the word MAYHEM!!!! I have to tell him at least 3 times to do anything or he openly defies me eg got the paints out Friday afternoon he does a super picture then starts to paint his nose. I say don't do that so he loads up his brush and does an extra large splodge on his nose- the others of course copy.

Said twin is in and out of the sin bin all day. We don't live in a huge house so just don't have the space for them all to leap about. Feel I spend the whole time squashing his/their natural exhuberence but I have no choice, we all have to share a small space. I'm wondering if it's something I'm doing wrong as my mum and pre-school say they're fine for them and they only get overexcited when I'm about. I'm a full time stay at home mum who has taught tough inner city kids in the past so I'm no pushover.

Had a horrendous day yesterday dropping off and picking up from pre-school. All 3 running off when I tried to get coats put on, 1 crying as I left, not saying goodbye properly to the teacher etc. This is all in front of the other mums who are way younger than me and know I was a teacher so should be able to cope with 3 under 4s.
Things I expect them to do is to walk to the car park sensibly, to get on with something instead of prowling looking for trouble, to do as they're told and to calm down. I'm wondering if I'm too strict, too soft or if it's a boy twin thing as people I know with girl/girl or boy/girl twins don't seem to have the same problems. Starting to get very near my wits end and finding the boys extremely irritating. They are on the whole lovely kids, healthy and bright but I'm feeling that I seem to be constantly on their backs. Heard dt1 telling mum that mummy shouts when we cry!!!!! Also got punted out the way when dp and I went to pick them up so dt2 could get to daddy last night so starting to wonder if they're beginning to resent me being a nagbag. Starting to hit the wine at 6pm!!!! Really need some advice, somebody tell me this is just a stage that 3 year old boys go through, how do I get through it and that I'm not a crap mum.

[devondoris]

Mila - I know I'm not going to be much help as the DTs are so little, but if I can meet up in the park sometime just as a shoulder to howl on, feel free. I have a feeling the roles may be reversed in the future... Tracey'll give you my number if you want. Also, I'm on the panel for the new children's centre at H'field so if you've got any good ideas for what would be useful I'd be really pleased to hear. Already thinking a twins' club! But one with staff who can entertain the children while the mums have mum-time, not running round after twin time.

I'm also quite sympathetic about DPs/DHs who don't have eyes to see with. Or at least, not normal eyes which actually see what's happening under their noses!

xx Doris

[MilaMae]

Hi Doris
Glad to see you're back, saw George's mum at Tunes she said you're all doing great. I'm supposed to be on a panel soon for a Barnardos centre(forgot to ask where) would that be the same one??? I thought about posting for some suggestions from other mums on here. One idea that springs to mind is some kind of area for kids to let off steam indoors ideally not the dreaded soft play area. The staff thing to entertain kids would be just great too. I'll get back to you when I come up with a few other ideas. Other than topping up with Lemsip I'm not being that useful today. Just got back from a pre-school committee meeting managed to sneak out having only signed up as health & safety officer. Believe me that was a result, the position of Chair was being thrown about, need I say more!!!!! Well best go, got some serious Lemsip drinking to do, a park meet up would be fab.