31+4 with DCDA twins and just looking for a bit of companionship during the countdown...

[legallyblond]

.... That's it really!

I have an almost 3 yo DD (she'll be 2.11 if they arrive when anticipated) and am still working full time (10 hour days as a lawyer) and, just this week, the exhaustion has hit. I'm planning to work until 34 weeks and have an elcs booked for 37+3.... It feels a long way away!

I am starting to get nervous about it all (I have been nervous throughout though!):

• nervous about bf - I ebf DD until we did baby led weaning and then carried on bf until she was 2, but a bit scared it won't work with 2, also becasue no sign of leaking colostrum and much smaller boobs than last time... and I never pumped or gave DD a bottle (of either my milk or formula - she was a total boittle refuser), so will be clueless (and disappointed that I'm not giving them the same as DD) if bf doesn't work or they're in NICU...
  

• nervous they'll be permature - I really, really want to make it to 36 weeks at least and would LOVE for them to just wait until the elcs date (for practical reasons like childcare too!). I had a "scare" at 23/24 weeks when my cervix was v short so I had a cervical stitch to prevent them coming. It did the job (my cervix doubled in length and has stayed long) so I am VERY grateful for getting this far, but stilll.... I dread the thought of NICU...
  

• nervous about the elcs and the recovery - I had a natural birth last time (albeit with an episiotomy, so recovery wasn't a bed of roses) so have no idea really... plus there's DD.. eek! I have chosen elcs becasue (a) they're transvers and breech now; and (b) in any event, I am uncomfortable about the potentially avoidable risks of an induction gone wrong... (that is despite being induced with DD at 40+12 and it being ok - G&A only and episiotomy the only real complication)..
  

• nervous about life with a toddler and twins. Need I say more? Still, I keep telling myself, I know what to do with one, so worst case, I just do everything twice, right??? In a sense, I feel pretty confident about my mothering ways (basically the opposite of Gina Ford I'm afraid!), but do keep hearing everyone saying how awful it will be with twins and how I MUST get a routine. I actually loved the newborn stage with DD and found it pretty easy (bf was great for me), so I am nervous that my bubble is about to be burst...
  

I guess all this is normal but just wanted to vent / share! Plus share the ride with those in a similar position....

[FreeButtonBee]

remember that very few MW will have seen anyone attempt to BF twins exclusively. So try to analysis what they say in Light of what you know about bfing.

Have you got the mothering multiples book? It's a bit American but it was reassuring that it is doable. Remember the golden rule that in order to have enough milk, you need to feed. You are already producing tons of milk so the incremental increase shouldn't be unmanageable. You just need to work up to it in manageable stages.

And it might just be that 20 mins is a full feed for them at this stage. That was the case for me for the first two weeks or so and then they got hungry. After that, I had 3 months of hour long feeds - that was when tandem feeding became a lifesaver!

[legallyblond]

No jaundice. Not been out yet (only day 3!) but might tomorrow. He wakes himself every three hours, but I have an alarm set for that anyway, and he might wake more often in the night. She feeds about every hour and a half, but I count the feeds in between the three hourly ones as comfort / bm top ups, so only go through the whole formula top up then pump process every three hours. On those three hourly feeds, I've v successfully got them tandem feeding - yay!!!

[legallyblond]

I would never go longer than three hours - I f

[legallyblond]

Sorry... I don't think DD went l

[legallyblond]

Oh god - stupid iPhone!!! I don't think DD went longer than three hours for about 5 months!!!! But she was a v frequent feeder!

[Cheerymum]

Legally so glad you are all well, and many congratulations. Persevere, you sound like you're doing great. Xx

[andadietcoke]

legally congratulations! So glad the birth went well and that you could get home so quickly.

I completely sympathise with feeling overwhelmed. Sophie was really unsettled tonight and was completely unconsolable. Nothing I tried worked, and just ended up sobbing my heart out wondering how I was going to cope next week when DH is back at work. Am absolutely terrified...

[legallyblond]

Thanks Anda.... Still feeling totally overwhelmed... Gulp. I just feel like "what have we done??..." Despite being so do unbelievably in love and happy they're here safely. Life with just DD, now she's nearly three, seemed very easy... And having had a singleton, life with DD and one baby would have been easy.....

[andadietcoke]

I know. I think I'm finding it harder because this wasn't something we 'chose' if that makes sense - I chose to get pregnant and have one baby, but not two. And then I feel so so guilty for thinking such awful things, when really, they're very good. It's just the dark, over tired me taking over when they're screaming. DH is still sleeping through whatever screams they make so have been dealing with DT1 since 4am who he put down because he couldn't get her to finish her feed as she was nodding off, and I've been dealing with since, until I finally get her settled and DT2 wakes up. Think I've had an hour's sleep so far tonight. So tired...

This gets easier, doesn't it?!

[Cornwall73]

Legally congratulations on the birth of your twins! Valentina was on our list too, gorgeous name! Good to hear you are dong well.

I cannot help in terms of BF and routines as mine are FF but I would say that the overwhelming feelings and the 'what have we done' thoughts especially in the middle of the night are utterly normal. I know it's hard but try to get out at least for 10 with the pram every day - you will all feel better for it. The first few weeks are very very hard as you establish feeding and under the watchful eye of people and very sleep deprived.

You are all doing a good job and yes it does get easier!

[Cornwall73]

....and at our first visit to a twin club coffee morning this week at four weeks old, a mum admitted that she wanted to hand a twin back at the worst and darkest hours!!!

[Cheerymum]

Such a relief that its not just us - I already feel sad for the loss of the singleton experience we had planned on, and ours aren't even coming out until Tuesday (probably). Am a bit worried about bonding and so on because I do feel resentful about a shitty pregnancy, a c section I don't want, and the exhaustion to come. Am sure we'll adore them in due course but the temptation to leave one at the hospital creeps into my mind every now and then!!

[legallyblond]

Thanks guys.... Good to hear you say that. Feeling better today. Hugo is gaining again, Valentina now lost 6% but they're not worried and I can officially ditch the formula! Just ebm top ups. And I (alone) got me, DD and the twins dressed and breakfasted by 9am today.... School run for DD will be 8.20am, but I don't need to do that myself for a couple of weeks...

[FreeButtonBee]

Woohoo! Well done! Good for you. And I am seriously impressed at the getting dressed thing. I was in pjs for at least 5 weeks. I left the house about 3 times in the first month!

[neversleepagain]

It gets better, those first 3 months are dark! "What have I done" entered my mind plenty of times! I found that the shock wore off around week 14. Different things become difficult. I am now trying to chase after two of them around the living room!

[Cheerymum]

Wow legally, that is an amazing achievement! I am seriously impressed!
Tuesday section for me, and I'll be joining all you twin mommas on the other side xx

[Cheerymum]

Quick question - those who have had an elective section - how have you found it? I am heading that way fast and it is NOT what I wanted at all - but my obstetrician is not at all keen on induction with MCDA twins as there is an unquantifiable risk to twin 2 (I agree, no data I can find to support its safety) and I don't dare just wait and see because of the small but significant risk of late stillbirth which climbs from here with MCDA, so it seems to be my least worst option unless I go into labour today. No signs so far.
How was the wound in the early days with twins, and the first part of the recovery? Need some reassurance really.

[andadietcoke]

Hello lovely, I also had massive panics the day before my section. Fainted at the pre op from anxiety!!

So, my ELCS was delayed a little bit due to an emergency, but I was first on the list. I didn't like not being in control once the spinal was in, but the team were very good (although they did nearly forget to get DH!!). The actual procedure was fine. No discomfort other than shivering and some nausea but they controlled that with IV fluids.

So, recovery... I was given oramorph post-op, as well as paracetamol and ibuprofen. My ELCS was at 10am. I bf twin 1 on my back because I couldn't sit up back on the delivery suite. I remember sitting up on the ward and my bum was still numb so I couldn't shuffle up if that makes sense - it was that that stopped me rather than the pain. I slept well, with very little pain, but the girls were in NICU so I wasn't stretching to pick them up etc and could just sleep. At 5am the next morning they took the catheter out and I had to go in the shower. Standing up straight was challenging and I shuffled to the shower and back in a fair amount of pain. Other than that I was just wheeled down to NICU and back, but standing over the incubators hurt a lot - I think I over did it a little bit at that stage.

Saying that though, my wound has healed very well. I'm fully mobile and can run up and down the stairs, crawl around on the floor etc. I can stamp my emergency stop foot and jump off the bottom stair (tests my friend was given for driving after a csection). I would say that I was getting towards 100% - was probably 80% at discharge from hospital after 6 days. I do wonder though whether that's down to the girls being in NICU.

[Cheerymum]

Thanks so much Anda, that's exactly the kind of experience/story I was after. I'm sure it won't be as bad as my worst fears, but I do feel really miserable and anxious about it. I know I just need to toughen up about it and focus on the bigger picture, but I'm finding that hard to do.
Reassuring that you already feel so much better. xx

[Cheerymum]

Thanks so much Anda, that's exactly the kind of experience/story I was after. I'm sure it won't be as bad as my worst fears, but I do feel really miserable and anxious about it. I know I just need to toughen up about it and focus on the bigger picture, but I'm finding that hard to do.
Reassuring that you already feel so much better. xx

[Cheerymum]

Oops double post

[Cornwall73]

I always knew I was going to opt for a c section so was mentally prepared and gave me time to organise everything at home as well as family support for the first few weeks.

I managed to tandem BF in recovery with the help of pillows and very good student midwives. I felt numb and very achy but the thrilled hormones at having our very longed for babies with us just took over. When in the ward I was on pain killers and encouraged to stay in bed until the next morning when the catheter came out. My big problem was trapped wind which was utterly miserable and I had to have liquid morphine for. I also downed peppermint tea (not if you are BF) and started talking little walks around the ward to ease it all out. The scar out tender and I moved tenderly but the more I moved the better I felt. Coughing and s eezing hurt though so curl over a pillow! At home I had changing gear in the livng room, nursery and our bedroom - the first two at waist height to minimise bending. Recovery has been good and must say that we have been for little daily walks since day 5 and gradually built up to walks of an hour plus last weekend. A month on I feel pretty normal but feel I did over do the bending as have had the baskets on the living room floor for example and the muscles on the right hand side of my shoulder and back are painful by the evening. Good luck with your c section!

Legally congratulations on getting out!!

[legallyblond]

Cheery, v little time but....

The pre op time (I was waiting for 5 hours) was surreal - take a book!

The op itself was cold and shivery and uncomfortable with lots and LOTS of tugging to get twin 1 our (he was engaged). I was achy but not at all nauseous at any stage during or after. By the end of the op, I couldn't exactly feel pain but it was achy as they did final stitches.

Post op I had them with me the whole time so did have to shuffle bend and pick up a bit. Same drugs as Anda. Honestly? First 36 hours were hard, especially the obligatory loo/shower trips. BUT, tell yourself (I didn't know this!) that by the same time tomorrow, you will feel totally fine, just a bit tender. Honestly! By 48 hours I was gone enough to walk to and from the hospital dining room, bend and pack my hospital bags, do all bathroom things etc etc. now, 6 days on, feel about 80% with dine pain only in awkward positions and at the end of the day.

[legallyblond]

Oh and really, really recommend taking arnica and peppermint oil from straight after the op. I didn't have the trapped wind problem, I think because of the peppermint oil tablets.

[Cheerymum]

Thanks all for the advice, experience and support. I'm sure it will be ok. Bit worried about them hoiking twin 1 out as she's so low I have been able to feel her head in my bum for a couple of months and they can't even get an US picture/measurements of it because it's so far engaged!! But I'm sure it's nothing new for them. Have lined up support at home so should be alright. Just need to suck it up and get on with it now, I guess!