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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

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Original poster

Retaining language skills when moving back to the UK

23 replies

Cuptowelmat · 10/10/2023 04:21

We are an English family which has been living in Germany for the past two years.

I speak fluent German.

Our (primary school aged) children speak excellent German. Our youngest two children in particular are essentially bilingual after German Kindergarten/school: our youngest speaks better German than English.

We are returning soon to England. They will be attending an English speaking school.

My question is, how do we keep their language ticking over? We can return for eg summer camps but how do we do this in the day to day? I can use German with them but they know I speak English… We can use German TV etc but that’s them receiving not producing… How do others manage it? Any tips?

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picturethispatsy · 10/10/2023 06:11

There will be online zoom classes somewhere. Try looking at the websites of language schools in Berlin/German cities and see if they offer online lessons.

Brocollimatilda · 10/10/2023 06:29

Could you put a call out for German speaking families near you? I know that might be difficult depending on where you will be living - But I think I would try that first. The

sashh · 10/10/2023 07:18

Different languages on different days, Mon and Tuesday are German, Weds and Thursday English. The weekends rotate.

I know some families doe this instead of OPAL.

I agree with trying to find local German speakers.

gotomomo · 10/10/2023 07:46

Most cities will have other German speaking families, connect with them or possibly contact local university who will have German speaking staff who might want their kids to have German speaking friends

Original poster

Cuptowelmat · 10/10/2023 09:04

Thank you for the ideas. I don’t think lessons are of use: the children didn’t “learn” German (other than in German class at school!), they lived it, and they won’t want to sit through lessons.

Where do I find these families? Facebook…?

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AutumnComfort · 10/10/2023 09:08

When you say fluent German how fluent is fluent? I’m 'fluent' in another language, but I wouldn't be teaching my children it - it’d clear it’s not my first language.

Even the receiving will help - keep the understanding and vocabulary expansion up (educational programs) and they’ll find picking it back up again in the future easier.

That aside, find some local German groups/ see if there is a German school nearby.

Whataretheodds · 10/10/2023 09:10

Which city?
Would use social media to look for German expat stuff near you. If near enough, activities at the Goethe. Definitely use German TV and radio.

ReadyForPumpkins · 10/10/2023 09:20

I failed at one parent one language so I'm not the best example. However, the families I know that succeeded in carrying on with a foreign language have both parents speaking it at home. They live the language. Can you all speak German at home? The kids I know that are biligual knows their parents can speak English.

I agree lessons are useless if they already have very good grasp of the language. Unless there are language classes for kids with German parents? (I have not heard of them however. The only European one I know of here is Greek).

ReadyForPumpkins · 10/10/2023 09:21

Don't give up. Your kids already can speak it. It should be easier to carry on than teaching your kids German when they grow up in the UK.

Original poster

Cuptowelmat · 10/10/2023 09:30

Thank you for the ideas and support. It makes me really sad to think they might lose their language skills: I really want to help that not happen.

I’m not native but work in German and have been mistaken for someone who grew up here and then moved away or alternatively as someone who’s been living here for a long time. So I’m happy to speak to them in German.

DH’s German isn’t as good though. Prob a B1 producing and B2 comprehension. But he is keen to improve so all German days could work.

We are returning to Manchester if that means anything!

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SallyWD · 10/10/2023 09:35

All I can say is good luck! They have to really want to speak German to retain it.
My children are exposed to another language every day (husband is from another country and only speaks to them in that language). They absolutely refuse to speak the language. They just want to speak English and be like their friends. We've tried everything - an online course, a playgroup in the other language, spending holidays in DH's home country, all my in laws speak to them in that language. But nope - they won't speak it.

Original poster

Cuptowelmat · 10/10/2023 10:16

May I ask how old they are?

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2carebears · 10/10/2023 10:24

Could you try OPOL? Different set up for us, we live in U.K, I'm British and my husband is German and my husband only speaks in German. Any cartoons/tonies are also German and we also go to a German Saturday school (there are quite a few around the UK). The Saturday schools are for families where German is regularly spoken at home and we've noticed a big improvement in our child's spoken German since going to one.

Maddy70 · 10/10/2023 11:11

Watch German TV half of the time

sashh · 10/10/2023 11:22

Manchester, that's student city isn't it? Maybe having a student 'babysit' them for a few hours a week.

I also would not be above bribery. Nikolaus doesn't fill the shoes of children who speak English.

Would their German school let them send emails to their old classes? A bit llike modern day pen pal.

SallyWD · 10/10/2023 11:45

Cuptowelmat · 10/10/2023 10:16

May I ask how old they are?

13 and 10. They used to speak my DH's language but started refusing when they were about 5.

AnnaBegins · 10/10/2023 11:56

I would definitely continue to speak German to them and maybe your DH speak English.

I am a non-native speaker raising my kids bilingually also.

Things we do:
Certain favourite TV programmes "only exist in X language"
Native speaker au pairs (really difficult since Brexit)
Definitely the bribery mentioned above about Nikolaus only coming if you speak German! We say they have to write messages/send voice notes to our former au pairs in French "as they might have forgotten their English"
Reading books in the target language - I alternate nights so my oldest reads at least twice a week in the second language.
Meet ups with other native speaker parents - sometimes all the kids speak English together but they are at least surrounded by the other language.

AutumnComfort · 10/10/2023 15:40

SallyWD · 10/10/2023 09:35

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. He must not cave in though. As soon as he starts speaking English, it will fail. (Some scenarios are different- not excluding friends who don’t speak the language by speaking it in front of them IYSWIM).

Just keep going and don’t give in.

Username620 · 10/10/2023 15:48

I think it would be really important to find some people that can speak German with your children.
For me the spoken language goes more quickly.
I’m native English, I was fluent in French and am now fluent in German. But because I wasn’t going to the office during Covid time, I lost my French. I can still read and understand it but finding the words sometimes is really difficult now.
It’s really great that you want to keep it going. My DD is fluent in 4 languages and it would be so sad if she lost any of them, but we still live abroad so it’s not likely she will.

2carebears · 10/10/2023 18:00

You need an environment where they will be around other bilingual families and also have opportunities to speak with other kids their age. That's why the Saturday schools are good but maybe if that's not for you also finding some local German speaking parents to get together with. Is where you live Manchester quite diverse? I say this as where we live there are so many kids who have at least two languages at home which I think helps as it's normalised to have a second language. Highlighting that to your kids may really help reinforce the importance of keeping going with it.

GrumpyPanda · 10/10/2023 18:15

If they're anything like my cousins who were in the exact mirror position of your kids (German parents but spent a big chunk of their childhood in, funnily enough, Manchester) they may well go on speaking the language among themselves even without significant external input. We're all in our fifties now and cousins will still spontaneously switch over in particular during an argument 😄

Agree finding other families might be useful. I suppose it's too much to hope for you could locate a secondary school that does a bilingual IB curriculum once it comes to that?

TheSquareMile · 17/10/2023 12:26

I don't know this organisation personally, but there seems to be a Saturday school for German in Manchester. I was looking to see whether there was a Goethe Institut there, actually, having been to the one in London myself.

It's probably worth getting in touch with the Saturday school team to see what they can suggest.

https://www.germanacademy.co.uk/dss-manchester

German Saturday School | Manchester | The German Academy

Our Saturday Schools offer supplementary education in German language and culture. They promote language learning and bilingualism, and support parents and carers in the upbringing of bilingual children.

https://www.germanacademy.co.uk/dss-manchester

nearlywinteragain · 17/10/2023 13:20

Our dc lost their fluency but retained their excellent accents. They also ten years later still find the language class one of the easiest.

Having tried lots of things when we returned back to the UK what worked best was finding a native speaker that they liked to babysit them and immerse them in the language with games etc.

But either of us parents were fluent which made it difficult.

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