Would it be right to insist on teaching two languages?

[whoamI00]

My DS is just over 21 months old. His speech has been developed a lot recently and he understands English and my mother tongue.

I work full time and my DS is at nursery five full days a week. Although he can understand both languages my son seems to be happy and more communicative when I ask him in English and he picks up English words and doesn't speak my mother tongue althogh I talk to him in my mother tongue everyday.

Sometimes I'm sorry when I correct his words in my mother tongue. For example, when he says "bird", I say yes it's "bird" in my mother tongue.

I'm concerned that it might confuse him and affects his confidence. He may not be sure whether it's "bird" or "bird(in my mother tongue".

Would it be really ok to insist on my mother tongue when I talk to him in the hope that he will be able to speak my mother tongue?

I don't go to my home country that often and I only speak to my family on an app some weekends and have no friends around me who speak the same language as me.

What are the chances for him to speak my language in this circumstances?

[TheSnowyOwl]

It’s fine. My BIL and SIL each have a native language and then they speak the language of the country they live in. DN speaks all three fluently.

[useitorlose]

I would absolutely use your mother tongue with him. It won't inhibit his English learning and he will know which is which. Are you going to teach him just speaking and understanding, or reading and writing too?

[adriftabroad]

You should onlyspeak to him in your mother tongue.

My DD speaks 2 languages and one dialect fluently. I have only ever spoken and read to her in English.

[whoamI00]

It depends. I hear that a lot of children struggle to speak other languages than English although they can understand it. I hope my son will be able to speak my language and then I'll teach him read and write but if he refuses it, I won't insist on it.

[Saschka]

It’s fine - you might get a few mixed sentences when he is a toddler (we got stuff like “ich bin die beste, du bist die worster” - total mangling of both languages there!). But they sort it out, and neither language suffers unduly.

There are lots of resources on bringing up bilingual children - here is one, but there are tonnes of websites out there to explain what to expect and what not to do.

[adriftabroad]

You should honestly just speak to him in your mother tongue.

I do not speak the language of the country DD was born in, least of all the dialect. He will learn both languages. It is very common allover the world to speak more than one language.

Most of Spain, French Canada, large parts of Africa, Switzerland etc etc.

[Wavescrashingonthebeach]

Please continue to give the gift of a second language to your child! They will blend languages at first but in the long run there are so sooo many benefits and your child will thank you when they are older!

[amyboo]

My bilingual kids were barely speaking any recognisable language at 21 months! All 3 are now bilingual in English (my/DH's mother tongue) and French (the language they go to school in). All 3 read fluently in both languages and can write pretty decent English. The younger two also do their schooling 50% in Dutch and can manage quite well in that too...

My point being, keep up speaking your language to him. He'll just need a bit of extra time to separate the languages and start using the less dominant one. There are sooooo many advantages to being bilingual, not least that it helps with learning other languages, so it's well worth the effort.

[evtheria]

It is totally fine, don't worry - kids are capable of 2 or more languages! He won't get confused, he just may mix them up when speaking but even multilingual adults do this.

It will be much harder to teach him later. If possible, try to also get him books etc. in your mother tongue, as many people grow up being able to speak another language but can't read or write in it.

[DucksNewburyport]

It's fine to keep speaking to him in your mother tongue.

But I don't think you should insist on him replying to you in the same language or correcting him. You speak to him in your language and let him reply in either English or your language. If you keep correcting him he'll have a negative association with your language, let him explore both freely, especially at such a young age.

[PuffinsRocks]

You really should have decided this from birth so they can acquire the correct phonemes etc otherwise you're going to confuse them. At almost 2 years of age they already have the main language patterns in their brains for their "home" language which will be English if that's what they've heard most of.

[Nclktnntt]

Vi-lingual chirldren usually start speaking later but when they do, there an obvious grasp on both languages (usually mixed together).

My SIL lives abroad back where her family are from, she only speaks English (where she grew up) with her kids and the father only speaks him native tongue (where they live) and obviously everyone around them. My SIL is the main carer so son 1 when he started talking mainly spoke English but understood clearly both languages, on going to nursery he now only speaks that countries language - even with me, I'm English, he knows I don't fully understand their language but I can get by, even when I actually don't have a clue what he's saying, he will not switch to English. But fully comprehends it. Maybe when he's older he will, or if ever they come to visit and everyone is speaking English and he realises no one can understand him - maybe he'll switch then and practice his English again.

Son 2 - speaks a mix of both languages, just now, even when in nursery.

My husband is bilingual, was brought up bilingual in England. He spoke mainly in his families tongue with his family and english with everyone else and then stopped when going to school and spoke mostly in english - but on visiting their home country for 6 weeks during the holidays, he would speak their language.

I think a lot of it comes down to the country you're living in as to which language will dominate in early years, you keep speaking your mother tongue because they'll learn their native tongue by everyone else around them and the TV. (I had a client who didn't speak great English, her son spoke fantastic English, I asked if his dad spoke English to him and she said no, I didn't know he could speak English so well. It must be the tv and nursery, no one speaks English in their home) so they'll pick it up just fine.

Don't insist they respond to you in the language you are speaking though, this could cause issues with their confidence in trying to speak the language as it's added pressure.

We've just found out we're pregnant and always planned to raise our child bilingual. (It's partly why I've been learning their language, so I can understand all conversation going on across both families like my husband can) Which means I'll have to brush up on my language skills as my husband plans to solely speak in his language in our home. This is how his sister and partner did it.

[reluctantbrit]

DD is just turning 16 and just sat a voluntary GCSE in German, her second mother tongue she only learnt at home and when visiting Germany. She is in no means perfect, her reading level is lower than in English but we could pack up and move back with no issues.

It can work. You will feel nothing will stick as your child only answers back in English but I found that the passiv understanding is huge. Can you get DVDs or music/book CDs in your language? The more exposure you can give the better.

The actual break through though was holidays in our home country, DD was forced to use German to get along with other children and that made a huge difference.