3 miscarriages this year

[Starlet86]

Hi I'm new to this or should I say new to talking about my miscarriages as I feel so alone no-one I know has had a miscarriage never mind recurrent miscarriages I know I'm not the only one,just really want answers feel so lost and angry, 7weeks ago I had my 3rd miscarriage at 16weeks 💔I'm so heartbroken,I still have had no results from my babys postpartum or all the bloods that the hospital took,i think its the unkown that's the worst,how can I grieve or try deal with my emotions with not knowing Why,😢 I'm 30 with no children just want my miracle rainbow baby,sorry for rambling on 🌈

[Starlet86]

@timeforachange I'm so sorry to hear your news 😢you will have your rainbow baby 🌈 do you find it easier talking to people?I'm off work can't face seeing people or friends even though I didn't tell a lot of people cause of previous 2 times,that's what I was going to do wait for results before going private to talk to consultant to investigate more,can I ask was your pregnancy Ok?I had 3 big bleeds every time went to get checked cause I thought I was miscarriaging my cervix was closed and my baby was fine movin and atrong heartbeat,makes me feel like I have done something and soo guilty as Well and not knowing the sex of my baby until the post partum comes back is hard,it's preventing me to grieve properly when I was holding my baby and to say goodbye 💔
That's what I have been doing looking up so much information to ask loads questions so I can be prepared,there is a lot of unanswered questions and yet could be something simple!especially that we both got to second trimester 😢🌈

[Starlet86]

Thanks @vinter my sister kept telling me to talk to organisations like sands etc cause other women will understand,my sister and partner have been my rock but they don't fully understand,I hated with my first miscarriage no1 cared cause I was that statistic 1 in 4 women keep trying better luck next time 😡 now 3 miscarriages later and second trimester still feel like no1 cares I mean professionally!
Good luck to you to all the best in future 🌈

[Starlet86]

Thanks @kej13 unfortunately I'm in N.I and waiting list is crazy we don't have many consultants for recurrent miscarriages never mind a clinic,it's a real taboo subject I feel but yet soo many women suffer from miscarriages and still births so cruel 😢

[timeforachange77]

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your losses.

Re a follow up, call your hospital/midwives, for late losses my understanding is that you should have a follow up appointment. I know this as I lost my daughter at 20 weeks (first child after ttc for 5 years) a few weeks ago and was told this by the private consultant I had planned to book for the birth.

When I asked the NHS midwives they initially said I didn't need a follow up, but on speaking with the bereavement midwife later she confirmed that I will get a follow up once the results of the blood work and post mortem are ready (likely at end of Jan).

Like you I'm probably going to go privately and emailed the private consultant re this, he confirmed it would be a good idea to wait for the results regardless of whether doing it on nhs or private.

I'm finding it incredibly difficult as I'm struggling with the guilt of having failed my daughter and am desperate for answers so the end of January feels so far away. The only thing I'm able to do at the moment is read up on miscarriages and am writing a list of questions that are arising as a result of that (I want to arm myself with as much info as possible so I can ask questions that I otherwise may not and then subsequently regret - it may not help but it's giving me something to focus on whilst I wait).

Sorry this is so long but what I'm trying to say in a long winded way is absolutely do not be worried about following up with hospital and asking for a follow up, you need and deserve answers.

[Vinter]

...and also, with three losses, odds for a successful pregnancy without and treatment is 55% according to research.
So I still think it could be an idea to ttc while waiting for investigation.

[Vinter]

I understand if it’s really hard on you. I haven’t lost later than 9 weeks. I think it’s fully understandable if you want to get support from organizations for parents who have angel babies. They usually don’t have limits for when the loss occurred. Friends in my habitual abortion Facebook group have joined after losses in 2 trimester, and are happy for the support.
Private is absolutely a good idea, but some tests can be pricey (like chromosome testing).

I hope you get more answers from your latest loss.
And I wish you good luck in the future!

[Kej13]

If I were you I'd keep asking, you have every right to know why it's taking so long! Xxx

[Starlet86]

I'm sorry for your loss @vinter 5 losses I feel for you,I want to go private cause I know nhs is crazy waiting lists but trying wait get some results from blood and baby before seeing consultant if I don't hear from hospital before hand,I want to keep ttc 🌈

[Starlet86]

You will..stay positive @kej13 I don't know I haven't heard anything I phoned about my baby's postpartum they said could be january til I get results from baby and placenta which would be 3 months,how is that possible to get answers and my blood results nothing don't know should I phone hospital and ask?why I haven't received letter or anything about seeing a consultant makes me so upset and angry xx

[Vinter]

I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am experiencing my 5th loss now. However I’ve lost mine much earlier on.
Are you being investigated?
My blood work has shown signs of an over active immunsystem, attacking my pregnancies..

[Kej13]

Thank you @Starlet86 it's awful isn't it. I'm on my 2ww now which is hard! I'm so used to getting negatives I can't believe I'd ever get pregnant again. When will you get your answers?? I understand it's been months since my mmc (which at 12 weeks I find hard to accept!) I can't stand seeing babies or pregnant people. I wish I could tell you it gets better but it hasn't for me xxx

[Starlet86]

It is a cruel world and us women go through so much s**t but howtosurvive we are strong and will go through it,my partner has been great but he has a child with previous relationship so I feel he doesn't fully understand how I'm feeling and then the guilt I have for losing 3 pregnancies which we so desperately want,when we go out seeing pregnant women or new borns we both look at each other and I cry just wanting that to be Me,I said goodbye to my first born in my arms and now I have my babies ashes not knowing sex of baby to grieve properly 💔so angry with people!I need to find strength to heal 🌈

[Starlet86]

Thanks kej13 once you relax you will fall pregnant women's body's really do go through it,so unfair!wishing you all the luck and positive vibes your way xx

[Howtosurvive]

Hello starlet86, i'm in the same boat. Just going through 3rd miscarriage on 13 month. Last one mmc at 16 weeks, first one mmc at 14 weeks and then one at 7 weeks in between. As you all my friends are pregnant and having babies and i feel i totally lost. My hospital told me the post mortem results won't be done sooner than 12 weeks after the loss and i'm not holding high hope they tested much in the blood. To be honest i don't know how can one go through ao much heartache but know you are not alone.

[Kej13]

I'm so sorry for your loss 😢I haven't really got any advice but I had an mmc in July at 12 weeks and been ttc since with no luck. So just wanted to let you know how sorry I am you're going through this, and ramble on, it'll make you feel better! I hope you get the answers you need soon xxx