Terrible Hospital Experience

[ForeverHopeful21]

At 12 weeks pregnant (1st pregnancy) I ended up in A&E after being referred by my GP for an emergency scan. The A&E at my local hospital is tiny and there were only 2 other people waiting. Within 10 minutes I had observations taken & felt relieved that I was so quickly being looked after. But the medic called the ultrasound department and very loudly said "well she looks fine to me" - this really shocked me as I was extremely worried and anxious ....and convinced that I was losing my baby.

Skip 3 hours and lot of gushing blood later, and I was still being ignored. I was now having panic attacks, crying, hyperventilating and just so upset that no one was helping or telling me anything. It took my husband (who is the most laid back and calm person I know) to furiously demand for us to be moved to a private room.

When the doctor finally walked in, he said "So you're twelve weeks pregnant, congratulations"!! . He tried to do an examination 3 times but couldn't due to the amount of constant gushing blood & clots. The light in the room was broke so he had to send someone off to find a pen torch and he mentioned that the apparatus to do the examination was old and broken. The whole thing was a fiasco!
He admitted he needed someone more experienced and said that the gynaecologist was on her way to examine me. In the hour that it took for her to arrive I passed the baby.

The examination was excruciating. I must have been tensing due to the pain and she was shouting at me to relax, she was getting very frustrated and started screaming "I'm small and have small fingers so you're lucky", "I have the smallest fingers in the hospital, this shouldn't be hurting". I was hysterical and felt so embarrassed. She eventually gave me gas and air. Once it was over, she said "I removed a lot of product that was stuck in your cervix. You've had a miscarriage" and then she turned around and walked out.

I had to spend the night due the amount of blood I'd lost. In the night I started shaking uncontrollably and was put on antibiotics for an infection. A few hours later I was in agony and asked for painkillers. It was 1.5 hours before I received them and the nurse apologised and mentioned they were understaffed. Asking to go to the toilet was received with huffing and puffing from staff. I felt as though I was a massive inconvenience.

In the morning a porter arrived with a wheelchair and said that I was going for a scan. I was shocked as I was still naked with my blood soaked gown on. As it wasn't visiting hours, I went for my first every ultrasound all alone. I was wheeled into a tiny waiting room in the antenatal department, full of happy couples! It was the most awkward and upsetting moment of my whole life. Sounds vain to say this but having that gown on and having dried blood down my legs, greasy hair, smelling of sweat - just made the whole thing 100 times worse for me. It was humiliating. During the scan they found a cyst. I wasn't given any information about the miscarriage, about the cyst, what I should expect going forward. Nothing.

When the doctor did the ward rounds, she said "you've had a miscarriage which is very common, you have a cyst, you need an iron test done in 4 weeks and another scan done in 8 weeks, don't try for another baby until after the scan" then she left.
I received my discharge notes in the post a few days ago and next to aftercare and follow up appointments, it says "no". I called my GP and they have nothing saying that I need an iron test or another scan .

I feel as though the hospital experience made my miscarriage 1000 times worse. I have no faith in the NHS and the thought of ever stepping foot in a hospital again fills me with dread.

[PossibiliTea]

You have done really well to get things into motion with the complaint and I really hope you get a good result.

[Youdontwanttodothat]

Thanks for taking the time to update. I know this must be a really difficult time for you. Glad your GP is taking action here.

[ForeverHopeful21]

Thank you for all your kind words.
Just an update: we made an official complaint directly to the hospital. The head sister in charge of a&e was very understanding and was actually very good at communicating with us. The chief exec was copied in and procedure means that he has a duty to contact us once they've done an internal investigation.
Part of our complaint was that I never received any follow up care or the appointments for blood tests and a scan, that I was told I needed (I have a 9cm cyst on my ovary so it's quite important). So, the gynaecologist who dealt with me whilst in hospital was told to call me regarding this, but unfortunately that was now 7 days ago and I've had no phone call. Obviously we're not just going to leave it, and this just makes them seem even more as incompetent as we believe them to be. Just so frustrating!!

I decided to take matters in to my own hands. I've been to see my GP and finally had my bloods done. I told him what happened and he was very disappointed, very sympathetic, and has referred me for the ultrasound I need. The results will determine if I need surgery. Thank goodness someone is listening x

[Dreardre]

So sorry. This is awful. Glad your husband is able to complain-would be totally understandable if he couldn't just yet. He witnessed this; it was his loved ones.

[April2017]

So sorry for your experience but in the most sympathetic way it's a relief that I haven't been the only one who had t go through this. 8 days ago at 9 weeks pregnant I attended my local A&E with heavy bleeding, stomach cramps and horrible lower back pain. From Google I learnt these symptoms were related to early miscarraige. Personally I felt I needed it confirming by a medical professional as I was in denial.. we had wanted this baby/pregnancy for so long I didn't want it to end.. I too was met by the same unsympathetic, uncaring nhs staff as you. In A&E I sat in the waiting area bleeding very heavily and upset. After an hr they took a urine sample and bloods and transfered me to the maternity unit. Here I met the most uncaring sho who examined me and told me my cervix was closed she wasn't to worried, bleeding is very normal and was happy for me to go home. It wasn't until my partner enquired about the bloods taken earlier that she checked them and said yes your hcg levels are too low this pregnancy is no longer viable.. with an appointment for the EPU in 48 hr time I was sent home where I passed the pregnancy later that night. My EPU apt came around I was asked to go to the bloods department get my bloods taken and sent home. No advice or support just uncaring staff with horrendous comments like "at least it's happening now and not at 12 week scan where u could discover you have an abnormal or downs baby"... the absolute shock of thier choice of words n how they so blatantly deliver the news to you is unbelievable.. I'm now 8 days post miscarraige still bleeding and still having horrible cramps and back ache and no advice if I'm OK if this is normal? Still feeling terrible and let down big time. I've written a very strong worded letter and it's going to PALS and the hospital chief executive. . I hope you find the strength to do the same so we can try prevent horrible experiences like this for future mums to be.

[DancingUnicorn]

I am so, so sorry. This is not at all how you should be treated. I'm so glad your husband is able to help you make a formal complaint.

Make an appointment to the GP and see if they are able to recommend counselling for this in your area locally, or google a local EPU.

I want to reassure you that not every hospital treats people this way, it's so cruel and unfair that you will be scared in the future. I hope there are other hospitals near you that you can use. This is hard enough without this horrible experience on top. 💐 Thinking of you.

[HCantThinkOfAUsername]

This sounds awful, so sorry for your loss op. I'm glad your complaining

[OohNoDooEy]

So sorry op. If you had to have the same treatment that i did after lots of bleeding due to retained product trapped in the cervix, that's truly traumatic without insensitive care added. I had a dr who did comfort me in her own way and it was still the worst day.

I hope you can talk this through irl. If you have a number for the epu/gynae ward directly they should be able to clarify your next steps.

My notes referred to a cyst from the mmc scan but that was all that remained of the baby as it never really formed. Gynae told me that I just needed to do a hpt after 3 weeks but the epu would have had me back in for a follow up scan

[AnnaL82]

OMG.
so sorry for you.

[SteppingOnToes]

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through this x

Please complain to PALS. I had a miscarriage and had to have a medical evac - I was lay on the bed waiting for the anaesthetist to come and put me under looking at happy photos of babies delivered all over the walls. Like you - it was the most horrific experience I have been through. I complained and they have a bay now for ladies who have had a miscarriage so they don't have to be in the 'happy' area.

[QueSera]

This is an absolute horror story. OP my heart goes out to you, you've received horrific treatment beyond all imagination. How can all those medical professionals be so cold and horrendously unprofessional. Unfortunately you and your dp will need to find your own way through this together. Please keep talking to each other; traumatic events like this need honest open supportive conversations and communication.

Sadly i and a few friends have received similarly horrific treatment at nhs gps, clinics and hospitals. These friends and i all agree that if we ever got pregnant again we would definitely go back to our home country rather than face the system here again. It might not be any better, but it would struggle (as a similar level country) to be any worse.

Good luck with your complaint (i was too traumatised to submit one in time, much to my regret). And please try to put the behaviour of these cruel and unprofessional people behind you, you should have been treated so so so much better X

[Lunde]

So sorry you have gone through this. I think you should definitely make a complaint. I reminded me a lot of my experience having a miscarriage in 1990.

Out of curiosity was this East Surrey Hospital? I've unfortunately had to deal with them a couple of times over the last year and they have been nothing but shit every time!
Ah so they have not improved at all since my 12 week miscarriage in 1990 - very unfeeling/very patronising

• although admitted to a ward at 6am was made to wait for the happy couples antenatal clinic at 12
  
• patronising scan technician said I was "just a young girl" (29) and there was plenty of time to have babies
  
• needed surgery and was put on ward with elective terminations
  
• post-op infection plus unexplained facial bruising after GE

[ForeverHopeful21]

Thank you so much to every single one of you. Your kind words give me strength.
My husband contacted the hospital today and asked to make a formal complaint. He's a very calm person so probably better that he speaks on my behalf as I feel that my emotions would get the better of me. Although the damage has been done, I do feel like making the complaint will help me move forward, and I like to think that we may prevent another woman from going through some of the things that I went through. Lets hope! x

[user1489226029]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm horrified and disgusted with the way you were treated. All I can say is please put in an official complaint when you feel strong enough. I've had a bad experience in hospital and I didn't complain (wish I had) and my experience was no where near as bad as yours. I hope you have people around you supporting you. Reading this made me so angry HCP should not be treating people this way.

[PossibiliTea]

I'm so so sorry to hear that it just sounds absolutely awful you should to have had to go through that. I'm Cheshire too and haven't had the best experience with my miscarriage to be honest, not that that's at all helpful, I'm just so sorry I would definitely take that further.

[SpookyPotato]

I'm very easygoing and never complain, but your experience sounds horrific and I would have to say something. You are not overreacting at all. I don't understand how some HCPs are in this job, making women feel terrible in these viunerable statea. I just really don't get it. I had a lovely experience with hospitals over my whole pregnancy, everyone was so caring despite being understaffed and very busy. Understaffed is no excuse.

[Taytotots]

Sorry for your loss . That is really shocking treatment. If you feel up to it later definitely put a complaint in via the patient liaison service (pals). Like dibbler i had really bad treatment at my 12 week scan when i found out i had a missed MC (basically sent away with no info and told to come back in 2 weeks). The hospital took the complaint very seriously and managed to address a few issues with their procedure, helped me feel that something positive had come out of it. The early pregnancy unit where i actually went when miscarrying were great though - so different to your experience. In hindsight I maybe should have gone to talk to a counsellor as i still cry at anyone who asks about this bit of my medical history (i have traumatised/educated a few medical students!) - maybe look into that if you think it would help?. The miscarriage association has lots of resources on their site.

[Greystars]

I'm so sorry you went through this

Please speak to your GP or one you feel comfortable with at your surgery and when you are ready make a complaint to PALS

your treatment was cruel, nobody should be treated like this.

In the meantime,

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/

These people can be very helpful, you have to sign up, I would also suggest googling support in your area, if you have an EPU (google your local hospital and area) they may be able to advise you of some support you can access.

It can get pretty lonely and I know his helped me, I also know it is not for everybody

I'm so sorry you experienced this x please just try to be very kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal

[ZiggyForever]

This is horrendous, OP. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that

[notafish]

So sorry to hear of your experience. I had a bad experience of miscarrying overnight in hospital and being treated badly by gynae staff. It was over 10 years ago and still plays on my mind. I wish I'd complained.

[cookiefiend]

I have no advice, but I am so sorry. You were treated terribly. I understand (no knowledge) that there isn't much staff can "do" in the case of an early loss, but a bit of common sense would suggest that compassion and support would help.

Please do complain. If you have a nice gp perhaps mention it to them. I know after a traumatic birth you can get a debrief. I wonder if you would be entitled to that to raise your concerns.

[perfectpanda]

So sorry to read about your experience. I also had a terrible experience miscarrying in A and E. No compassion or care. I didn't ever complain at the time as it felt too much for me to deal with. But I now find myself pregnant again 4 years later (somewhat unexpected). I discussed the awful miscarrying experience for the first time when I was booked in and I'm getting much more care and support this time around on the back of it. It was helpful to tell a health professional how bad it had been. So I hope in the future you do get the strength and chance to talk this through with a compassionate person. I still feel shocked about how some of the doctors spoke to me, it sounded very similar.

[PlayOnWurtz]

So sorry for your loss.

When you feel stronger write to PALS and copy your MP in as baby loss is high on the agenda at the moment and various cross party stuff has been set up to get research and better treatment for mothers. No woman should have to go through what you have. Rest up and take care

[willothewisp17]

😞 so sorry for your loss, sounds like an absolutely terrible experience and the people who were supposed to be looking after you failed in every way possible.

sending love 💖

[Littleraincloud]

Your treatment was horrible, I lost a baby a little later than you and although they weren't fantastic in terms of information they were compassionate. I was terrified of the internal scan and the fear increased the pain to the point it was harder to to bear than full term labour. Try and be kind to yourself and take iron anyway.