Really worried - is this perimenopause or could I be PG at 45?

[piefacerecords]

I've read loads online but there's lots of conflicting advice out there and I seem to be working myself up into a Google Panic Apologies in advance for mammoth thread.

I've always had a regular 28 day cycle. And PMT which got worse over the last few years - from the age of about 39/40 it got so bad that it was lasting two weeks + and I was getting panic attacks and feeling terrible. I eventually saw my GP who diagnosed Generalised Anxiety Disorder (I did fit the symptoms) and put me on ADs, which helped a lot and completely cured my PMT. The downside was that they killed my libido and made it impossible for me to 'get there'. Also what I couldn't understand was that there was no cause whatsoever for me to feel anxious - everything in my life was/is good and it was so out of character for me.

Anyway, I recently turned 45. Over the last year I've had a couple of periods heavier than usual, and a couple of times I've been a few days early. But now I'm ten days late and I'm freaking out slightly. I've never, never been late before other than when I've been PG. I'm 45 and more importantly, DH had a vasectomy 12 years ago, so I'm thinking it's hugely unlikely - but still worrying about the minute possibility. I just can't face doing a test - if I was PG it would be an awful shock for various health, work, lifestyle, and a million other reasons. But I don't think I could go through with a termination . Basically my life would be screwed.

I also realise it could be the perimenopause. But that possibility has shocked me, because my DM had cancer in her early 50's, leading to her having her ovaries removed, and up until then she'd not had any menopause symptoms - so I have always assumed that I won't either at least until I'm in my 50's.

So could my period being this late mean I'm having an early menopause? Or do people sometimes just miss a period for no reason, even if they never have before? I'm having no other symptoms, ie no hot flushes, etc, but is a missed period and anxiety (which is probably still there underneath the mask of the ADs) enough to diagnose it?

[ngibbons1]

Hi I've a similar situation. I had a normal period in December but started bleeding exactly 1 week after my period had finished. I bleed for 14 days started light and flow increased but not too heavy. Finished bleeding on 17 January and haven't had a period since. I'm 45 could this be the start thank you

[piefacerecords]

My AF has just arrived (two weeks late) so my visit to the docs yesterday was a bit pointless...

I have an awful stomach ache but so far no crime scene

Hopefully next time they go wonky again I will be a bit more chilled about it all!

[ScandiCinnamon]

I have read this thread with great interest. I just logged on to mumsnet to do some reading up on perimenopause (as I am also clueless about this like OP mentioned she felt she was. Thank you for starting this thread OP. Reading what all you wise ladies have posted here has given me so much re-assurance.
To share my experience; I am 42. Have always had regular, if somewhat short, cycles. The last few months my period have lasted a few days less than what it has in the past. Then over Xmas I just didn't get my period, although on the day I was due I had lost of period cramp type feelings. This has been a pregnancy sign for me in the past so I freaked out. Did a PG test when 10 days late. Negative. When period finally came on it was a crime scene like fallenemparies mention above. So, so heavy and painful. As a matter of fact I am still on. Day 17 and still bleeding. So have now been to the GP. He has prescribed Norethisterone to stop the bleeding, as I am now feeling quite crap from it all. Had blood tests too today to check if I now anemic. He has suggested I should have a mirena coil fitted (still need to read up on that as don't know anything about it). Other than the shorter periods I have not had any symptoms that things were about to change.

[piefacerecords]

Ew that's something to look forward to then

[fallenempires]

Well at least you know that you're not pregnant!Do keep wearing towels though as when it does come it's likely to be crime scene heavy.

[piefacerecords]

Oh and she also said as this is the very first 'blip' I've had with my AF, I need to wait and see if it is indeed the start of them changing or if it's just a random missed AF which rights itself next month - which could be totally separate from anything Perimenopausal and can happen at any age.

Does that all sound pretty standard?

[piefacerecords]

Hi - bit of an update - I bit the bullet today and went to see the Nurse Practitioner at the GP's. She did a PG test for me, which was negative (thank god!) - so that's my biggest worry ticked off!

She basically said what everybody on here has said - that it's normal to start having symptoms such as irregular periods in your 40's and that as I am verging on being 45 there's not much point in taking tests to check. As I'm having no other symptoms other than the missed period, I just need to keep a check on it, and can go back if I start to get other symptoms that are causing me problems, when we can then discuss HRT options.

Feel a bit silly now for worrying that I could have been upduffed...

[shortsaint]

Polly Thank you. I am going to read up & prep before my appointment.

[fessmess]

At 45 my periods started to get irregular, closer together and then further apart. I stopped all periods when 47 and no hot flushes at all. Now it's been nearly two years since. A few night sweats here and there, and no sex drive. Which is shit.

[PollyPerky]

short to add...you are not too old for HRT! You are young-ish for menopause though. You can start HRT at any age even 80 though ideally it's best within 10 years of a last period.

You are clearly not over it as you have emotional and physical symptoms. These may well get worse because oestrogen falls off a lot in the two years after a final period. On the other hand you may be fine, but the test is to get off ADs which are powerful drugs with side effects and not suitable for women who can take HRT.

[PollyPerky]

short Please have a good read of sites like Menopause Matters (written by a consultant.)

Your GP is talking utter bollocks. Shouldn't be working if she thinks these things.

HRT is for anyone who is peri. It's total, utter nonsense to say you have to be period-free for 2 years.

She is also going against the advice of NICE whose guidelines say women who have mood swings and anxiety for the first time which coincides with hormonal changes should have HRT not ADs

I think I'd find another GP or at least print off info about peri and menopause and show it to her.

[piefacerecords]

*free 'of' my usual symptoms, I mean...

[piefacerecords]

Thank you for posting similar experiences - makes me feel a bit less wierd about it. Still no AF so tomorrow I will be two weeks late. It just feels so strange when I've never been late before, apart from when I was PG. I also feel completely free on my usual symptoms which tell me where I am in my cycle, good or bad, which is also a bit confusing.

I think I may make an appointment to see my GP or the practice nurse tomorrow just to see what they say. Will I be wasting their time? I know it's all 'normal' stuff but it just doesn't feel that way yet!

[shortsaint]

This happened to me too. Anxiety / sleeping issues, prescribed AD. Worked. Only take one every 2 days but helps. I could tell the difference when i stopped for a time.

Am 47 now. Had NO period last year, 2, 6 months apart, the previous year. Doc says I am not on menopause & I still take ADs - I made her write in my record that it's for peri- m symptoms NOT depression which I do not think I have. Definitely helps sleep and irrational hormonal rages which terrify (!) my OH. She said you had to have not had a period for a full 2 years & wouldn't give me HRT. I do have hot sweats in evenings I am seeing doc again next month to discuss repeat prescription for ADs. I reckon I have been through it and it's too late for HRT. That post above re pretentative care has worried me a bit.

Oh, I take Menopace and I do think it's quite good.

[PollyPerky]

Just to say that if you are having an early menopause, (periods don't comeback or you have another really long gap) the recommended treatment is HRT, regardless of whether women have shorter term symptoms or not. (That's things like flushes, sweats, mood swings.)

The reason for using HRT up to early 50s at least is to protect your bones, heart and brain. The risks of osteoporosis, heart disease, Parkinsons and possibly Alzheimers are much higher for women who are menopausal before 52.

Obviously these serious diseases don't show up till most women are in their 50s, 60s or 70s, so HRT is preventative.

[Theromanempire]

Just wanted to share my experience with you as I am very similar.

I am early 40's and haven't had a period since beginning of September. I had a couple of absolutely horrendous periods about 2 years ago and i have never been regular.

My DH had a vasectomy about 7 years ago. Another baby would have had a severe impact on our lives (financially, career-wise etc - we just do not want another DC) plus the obvious issues of the effect on our relationship due to DH's suspicion of me cheating on him (which I would say is perfectly natural in this situation).

Over the last year or so, have had several of the perimenopause symptoms - hair loss, palpitations, memory loss, word confusions, fatigue - the fatigue was so bad, there were times when I seriously considered locking my office door and going to sleep

Anyway, I buried my head in the sand for a while until one of my friends actually bought me a pregnancy test as I was procrastinating so much...it was negative. Did another one a few weeks later which was also negative.

Eventually, I went to the doctors - I have now had loads of different tests (diabetes, ECG, thyroid, hormone levels, pregnancy etc). Have had the all-clear in terms of my health and my hormone levels didn't indicate that I had started the menopause so it is 'unexplained' and the doctor wasn't concerned about it. Just said to go back in another 3 months if no sign of a period.

It has now been nearly 5 months since my last period and as my mum said, there is nothing I can do other than enjoy it! However, I do have a fear that I am in for one hell of a period if and when it arrives.

I have started taking a wellwoman tablet and I feel so much better - the fatigue is nowhere near as bad, I feel more competent at work although my memory is still shit.

Anyway, after that essay, the moral is do a pregnancy test and get to the doctors to have health checks.

Good luck

[RuneReader]

Hi pieface, your experience is really similar to what I went through a year ago, age 43, and not had a period for 6 weeks. Really had to grit my teeth to do a pg test! But I did, and I wasn't, and indeed I haven't had a period since, (13 months now) so I guess I'm officially post meno (or maybe it's two years at our age).
Just jumped onto mumsnet to do research re meno and low sex drive, (I have none). Now realising I'm technically early menopause, was probably going through peri for years without realising, and I should probably seriously consider HRT! I'm seem to getting off quite lightly symptoms-wise so hadn't really thought about it... the things women don't talk about.

[fallenempires]

Thank you! You have given me hope as another regular 28 day-er! Sadly can't get the fitting until early next month on whatever day of my currently mucked up cycle that may be.You have made me feel positive though!

[DramaAlpaca]

fallenempires good luck with your Mirena fitting, hope it works out for you. I can honestly say it completely changed my life, and I'd have days like you describe when my period was so heavy I didn't want to leave the house. Be prepared for it to take a few months to settle down though.

[PollyPerky]

If you're having side effects it's worth reconsidering....

The age of meno is classed as between 45-55. Average is 51/52.

I've known friends whose mums had an early meno (39 ish) but friends went on to their 50s so it doesn't always work out the same.

Also, as I said, the slowing down takes years.I had some mid cycle spotting around 47 but dr at time said nothing to worry about and probably hormonal. I also had some slightly odd periods- a bit stop and start in a cycle. But then it settled down and my last period was around 53.

[piefacerecords]

Thanks Polly - that's interesting. I do wonder why my GP went straight onto prescribing AD's rather than considering it might be hormonal - particularly as I told him it seemed connected to my PMS. The thing now is that I wouldn't want to just stop taking them because they definitely have helped - even though the side effects aren't great

I feel like I've spent my life with my head in the sand because I've suddenly realised I know absolutely bugger all about this subject, and I assumed the whole thing was still years off. Is it just me?

[PollyPerky]

perimeno is the stage leading up to meno (last period ever) and can last for 10 years. The average age for meno in UK is 51-52. Having irregular periods at 45 is not unusual. In fact it's quite normal! I know many women whose periods were all over by 47/48. It's a slow process usually, over a few years. Cycles can be longer- skipping 2-4 months or more, (even 11 months) or shorter (I had some 17 days cycles.)

DRs won't do blood tests for peri /meno in women 45 and over- NICE has said not to- waste of NHS cash and inaccurate tests anyway because hormones are all over the place in peri meno.

You might get on better with HRT for your anxiety and mood swings rather than ADs. NICE says GPs are not to prescribe ADs for psychological issues connected to lower hormones.

[fallenempires]

Drama I'm glad that you are positive about the Mirena as I'm going to have one fitted soon.

[fallenempires]

Don't know yet.Have literally just finished...it decided to arrive on Friday 13th ffs. It was so heavy that I was unable to leave the house for the first two days.
Weirdly enough I was very aware of ovulating last month.Prior to being due on I was also getting clear cm and lots of it.
I have however had an awful time of things lately,mentally I know that I'm stressed so that may well have impacted on my cycle too.

[Titsywoo]

Hi pieface I am in a similar position although I am 38. I am still waiting for my period and it is now 25 days late! My DH also had a vasectomy and PG test was negative. Doctor wasn't too concerned (although I do have damage to my fallopian tubes and one ovary after PID years ago but it has never caused a problem before) but she did order FSH blood tests which I am waiting for the result of. I am also quite jittery and anxious and my moods are all over the place.

Definitely see the GP for blood tests but it is likely to be perimenopause.