Ok, is this it? <waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllll>

[MaryChristmaZEverybody]

No period (having been on time, bang on time for 36 years). And I'm sitting here in a t-shirt while the kids are huddled under slankets wanting to turn the heating on.

And it isn't all the . 'cos I've only had a couple of glasses and I feel slightly sick which isn't due to the chocolate

Help. What's next?

I'm beginning to wish I hadn't started this thread

At least we can retain our sense of humour, despite the doom and gloom.

[hopeful]

MaryZ I offer light peace and happiness (OK - now I'll get flamed) HRT is my friend so is & more

It's time for again I think.

I'm not so sure about HRT - don't you have to go through it all when you come off the HRT?

I think I need to face up to this and put some thought into it

I went on HRT fairly recently and I bloody love it. It has occurred to me that I'm probably just delaying stuff but meanwhile I'm not crying all the time, I'm not sweating all the time, I have some energy and also - I'm not crying all the time. I was in a bit of a state earlier this year (it turns out periods can speed up before they slow down; I was having two a month) - feel loads better for the HRT. So give it some thought.

It doesn't necessarily put off the evil day- yes for some, no for others- and you come off it very very gradually over months.

And- yes- some people never come off it. Teresa Gorman has been on it for about 40 years and she swears that the Queen has and the late queen mother too.

The advice of smallest dose for least possible time has been kicked into touch as a result of the latest research. There is probably a small risk but akin to a drink of wine a day, not having any children, and being a stone overweight- in other words a very small risk which some women are willing to take for a better quaity of life.

Putting it in perspective you are- statistically- more likely to die in your car on the motorway- my gynae told me that.

- that's interesting.

I'm on anti-depressants atm, having spent about six months crying earlier this year. But that might have been due to ds's behaviour, rather than the menopause.

I'm deffo having two minute sweaty hot times - I've had half a dozen today and have had my fleece on and off - and got filthies from the kids, who apparently are "frozen".

I'm already a stone overweight (at least), drink a glass of wine a day and have various other increased risk factors (including lumpy breasts), so I'm not so sure.

I'll have to look into it.

Mary you might like to read Prof John Studd's website where he really slams the current fashion (cop out) of giving ADs to menopausal women- as a substitute for what he thinks should be oestrogen/HRT.

I am not a huge fan of his but he does talk some sense for some of the time. There are other reputable gynae/meno experts who agree pretty generally with what he says.

I suppose if I were you and was thinking about HRT, then I'd try to reduce any risks of HRT by getting myself into shape beforehand, in order to negate the additional risk factors as much as possible- ie weight, wine and whatever! You can't control your lumpy breasts but you can clean up your diet and have a healthier overall lifestyle- which might well reduce your symptoms in any case.

Yes, I think that's the answer.

I've had a shitty few years (ds has gone seriusly off the rails) and I sort of gave up on myself a bit, gained weight, drank more etc. I need to get back in shape, and give myself a kick up the arse.

I needed the anti-depressants - tbh I should have had them five years ago when ds was at his worst, but I tried to cope, and gradually sank. I'm feeling much better and will probably come off them in the new year.

The problem here is really the cost of visiting the gp - if I stop taking them, then I have to make a new series of appointments (at 50 quid a go) to go back on them. And if I stop and can't cope, then I won't be able to deal with the physical symptoms of menopause as well as depression.

I could always nick some of ds's knock-off vallium, I suppose .

I need a complete overhaul - mammogram, smear, blood tests, the lot. But it is so expensive. We aren't poor enough to have a medical card, but don't have the money to get the tests done privately. It's a real issue.

I am not sure I believe in HRT. Well, actually, that's not true, I know I don't. I am sure in certain circumstances it is the right thing, but I am a great believer in the natural course of things, and the menopause is part of that. Isn't the demise of oestroegen to do with the next generation taking over and you are there to take on a different role.

It is just unfortunate that as an elderly mother, I hit the menopause just as my DD hit puberty, so she is all wired hormones and I don't give a shit.

But I have a 'friend' who met the menopause early and swears by HRT. to the pont where she fiddles it so she never has the 'down' time'

You can look at that 2 ways- years ago not many women lived past 50 and they died from the plague or being eaten by a wolly mammoth.

Women are not designed to live beyond their child rearing years- not in rude health anyway. IMO our biology has not caught up with the advances in modern living, which means we have almost half our lives ahead of us , deprived of hormones. If you look at all the negatives that result from loss of hormones- osteoporosis ( affects 1:2 women over 50), possible bladder problems, atrophied vagina and vulva, heart disease, loss of libido and energy- it seems a poor trade off to think we are somehow being " useful" as elderly members of the tribe while our bodies fall apart. :)

Blimey BoPeep, that's cheered me up no end?

Anyone watch "Getting On", with Pippa's groundbreaking vag-at study?

Am getting pissed off with cooking at the mo, but think that's just loss of inspiration rather than the big M

atrophied vagina and vulva

Is it too late for HRT once the menopause has well and truly taken hold?

Well, this thread has really cheered me up .

The woolly mammoth is looking rather attractive atm.

Sorry- not meant to be a downer :) but just wanted to be open about things that many women do not talk openly about. My mother's generation never really mentioned anything except hot flushes, but there was the occasional allusion to " dry down below" comments usually after a smear test in 50s and 60s. No one actually admits their flaps have shrunk or anything that's actually honest!

Inexit can I PM you as I want to share a link and not make it public?

Of course you can PM me! I don't get many.

My friend went to the docs with an itchy vag and was told that she was suffering from a paper thin vulva!

I am avoiding going for a smear as

a) I have put on so much weight this year that I cannot imagine how they would get in

and

b) tis all very dry down there and I just don't fancy it.

I actually caught myself with a nail the other day whilst wiping and made myself bleed.

Enough of this.

I went three months without a period, then had a
couple, then a few months, then about six months, then a year! Then bloody well came on again with the worlds worst period

Had another one 3 weeks later [cries]

due yesterday and not a sausage.

Please can someone explain why the loss of interest in cooking and lack of caring due to oestrogen?

I bloody care about the fact that I am currently suffering a 10 day period and no end in sight! And am red hot, whilst dhshivers. It's usually the other way round, I was called the corpse in my young days, due to being cold all the time!

Apparently oestrogen is the hormone that makes us want to nurture, I suppose cooking is part of that nurturing.

I haven't made a single mince pie yet, and the festive season is done and dusted.

I find it quite scary that we are slaves to our hormones - but I suppose hormones explain some of the really dodgy chaps I have fancied in the past (that and the booze).

I was hoping it might be some type of anti-food thing, and that I might go off eating.

But obviously not.

I'm comfort eating atm, while trying not to lose my temper at every little thing.

I also need a smear. But can't face it.