I posted on here last week about my situation. My h left in april to live with another woman. We have 2 children aged 2 and 3.
I told him I would not be filing for divorce at this stage. Despite me trying to be civil and reasonable, he has been vile towards me for the past 3 months. He has seen our children for a grand total of 6 hours in that time. I began to try and sort out mediation to get a contact arrangement in place for him to see the children. I still do not know if he is going to attend.
He began to tell me he would only see the children if his new girlfriend was present, and I said no and stood my ground. I offered him use of my house and I woulkd go out so he could still see the children, but it kept it in familiar surroundings for them, and I knew his girlfriend wasn't there. He declined. He has not seen them alone for 6 weeks, so I feel he needs to re-establish his own relationship with them first, and I also feel it is much too early in their relationship for her to have any involvement with my children.
Yesterday, I received a letter from a solicitor stating that he has filed for divorce on the grounds of MY unreasonable behaviour!!!
It seems crazy and I panicked, but after speaking to a solicitor I calmed down. I am going in to see her on Monday, but I probably won't contest the divorce, though possible the reasons! After all, he has committed adultery and I have done nothing except wave goodbye to the life I knew, and do my very best for my children for the past 3 months.
ANYWAY, the reason for my post is to do with the divorce process. I have read that he has to fill in a statement of arrangements for the children, and I wondered if anyone knew what this meant? I want my children to have a relationship with their dad, but my grounds for them not meeting his new girlfriend at the moment stil stand. Does anyone know if I get a chance to state this, or does he just get to specify when he gets to see the children and that's what happens.
I am so new to this, and it is all happening so quickly. It all feels like it's totally out of my control, and I don't know what to do. I just want to protect my children, but it feels like he is using them as part of a game to emotionally blackmail me.
I would be soooo grateful if anyone had any advice, or knew what my rights were with regards to setting some ground rules for his contact with the children, bearing in mind he hasn't seen them himself for 3 weeks (NOT as a result of my influence).
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Please help me...again!
14 replies
kara0811 · 19/07/2008 12:58
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