Help - overwhelmed and struggling this week

[Underscored]

Had a dreadful run up to Easter, it's been the anniversary of the death of someone dear to me, I've had a hard couple of weeks at work with my difficult manager and I've also been ill which has left me very run down. I'm a lone parent working full time with no family support around me so things are finely balanced at the best of times.

I've ground to a complete halt beyond managing the basics of keeping my daughter alive, getting her to school, and not getting sacked. All this means the house is a tip, I've not made any plans for the weekend, there's no food ready to eat (couldn't face cooking), I've had several messages from friends inviting me and my daughter to do various things in the holidays that I've left on read. My daughter's birthday is coming up and I'veeft it too late to arrange a party so I'm feeling shit about that too. I feel totally overwhelmed by everything I have to do and the prospect of entertaining my daughter for the next few days. I still don't feel 100% and I just want to curl up in bed and for it all to go away.

Please tell me where to start!

[puppirpl]

Take it one thing at a time. If you're ill your boss can't fire you without you being able to claim an unlimited amount of money for unfair dismissal based on discrimination. It sounds like you need a couple more days sick leave.

Write down everything on a list you need to do and prioritize it and give it a time frame.

1. Let boss know that you are ill and need today off sick
2. Tidying up often doesn't take as long as it may feel. Your whole house could look far more decent with 2 hours. It will make you feel alot better.
3. Go to super market and pick up a few ready meals. Pick up easter egg. There doesn't need to be a whole load of stuff for Easter but get an easter egg for your child.
4. Birthday Party - ask your daughter to dress all grown up becuase you are taking her out for a fancy dinner for her birthday because shes a big girl now. You can get her a dress for it too so it sounds really special and thought out, if you have the money/energy ask her to invite a couple of friends.
5. Message each friend with a copy paste message. 'thank you so much for your invite and I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I have been ill for the last few days and still am so haven't made any plans nor have the capacity to commit when I am unsure when I will get better. is this an open invitation or do you need my commitment by a certain date?'
6. As for entertaining your daughter, can you invite a friend round for her each day.

[rockingbird]

Oh bless you, you sound so overwhelmed by it all.! As the previous poster has said make a list and get the satisfaction from crossing off those tasks one by one. A little bit of cleaning goes a long way and it really will make you feel better once it's done. I reward myself afterwards 😆 helps me to stay on task. Grab a quick shop to tie you over and get yourself and your daughter a nice Easter treat. Sending hugs your way!

[Underscored]

@puppirpl thank you so much for this post, I actually followed your advice although I then remembered car MOT expires on Sunday so had to go and sort that... I hadn't even thought about Easter eggs! Things are a bit better now, still a way to go before I feel on top of things but a bit more manageable, thank you.

[lotsofquestions2]

I always find making a list helps me get through everything that needs to be done. I make a weekly list and tick a bit off each day!

[Lovemybunnies]

@puppirpl it’s so lovely to read a genuinely, helpful, uncritical post on MN. @Underscored I really hope you are feeling better and the Easter weekend helps you get on top of things again.

[ditzzy]

Firstly, re-read your own post and look at what you’ve achieved!

I think the first thing to do is to give yourself a massive high five for everything you’ve managed to do for your daughter (and for your job if you’ve succeeded in not getting sacked!), you’ve made it to the Easter holidays despite everything you’ve felt over the past week. Yes, the holidays offer a whole list of new challenges, but you can do this.

So many people think “all I’ve managed to do is get to the end of the week intact” when that “all” is sometimes worthy of a celebration in itself.

Others have posted practical advice (which I’m certainly not one to give!) my advice is just to recognise your own brilliance and your own caring personality in thinking about your daughter first.

[Chelseaflag]

From one lone parent to another, you’re doing great! Sometimes all we can do is survive. All fed none dead is often my motto!

[Olderthanthetrees]

This sounds really hard op. I’m sorry for your loss 💐 The temptation is to totally flop but it won’t make you feel better. I would plan this Easter weekend ruthlessly and really try and stick to a schedule so you benefit from it as much as you possibly can. Some ideas follow but feel free to ignore xx

1. look locally for Easter egg hunt or similar activity and plan a nice day for your daughter’s birthday around that. Buy her a nice dress and one lovely present. And spend an entire weekend day focused on her. Petting zoo or petting farm or similar. Then jigsaws annd crafts in the afternoon. Maybe bake some simply fairy cakes with her and decorate. She will love it! It doesn’t have to be a huge expedition, a couple of hours would be great. Maybe invite one of her friends over. Plan a glass of wine and a treat for yourself as a reward that night,

2, ring up one of your favourite friends who has invited you and apologise for late response and ask if invitation still stands for you and your dd, and if so, then I would take my daughter and enjoy a lovely time! Sometimes we need friends to make us feel a bit better.

3Text the other friends and apologise for being out of touch and say openly that you have been struggling - you never know how they might help! If they do ask what they can do, ask them to take your daughter for an afternoon so you can sleep. If they don’t, maybe arrange a child swap with a single mum friend so you can each have an afternoon off.



4.Three days next week, eat a Mumsnet massive salad 😀 and go to bed at the same time as your daughter (boring but you will feel the benefit). Make sure you are drinking enough water. Maybe get a check up/blood test at gp.

5 Allocate 2 mornings for cleaning and do one load of laundry every day. Put on some loud music and get your daughter to help. You can buy mini cleaning children’s cleaning tools quite cheaply on Amazon.

6.buy chicken and some carrots, onions celery garlic and parsley make a healthy chicken soup to tide you over the holiday and nourish you both.

7 when it’s raining, take any chance you get, to yourself permission to rest under duvet and watch a film with your dd.


Edited to say: glad things are going a bit better op and sorry about formatting, don’t know what happened there! 😬
xXx

[puppirpl]

@Underscored so glad it was helpful, I was thinking of you and hoping you would update that you are feeling a bit better :)