Men trouble,advice needed :-)

[tetti]

Ok,I wrote a topic before (can casual ever become serious).
Basically,I've been seeing a guy 8 years my junior on a very casual basis for the last 3 months.I know he obviously does like me,but it'll never turn into anything serious.
In the beginning I thought I was falling for him,and probably could have,had we spent more time together.Lately though I have realised that it's never going to lead anywhere.I never know when I'll see him next,and he has said(when I asked him where this is going basically) that I like to see him more than he'd like,he's happy seeing me every 10 days or so,and we don't have any phone contact in between,just the odd txt's,so it's very clear he doesn't want a relationship..(he's just a pup,isn't he?)

My mates said I should enjoy it for what it is,he is a drop dead gorgeous creature,and when we meet we do have fun!But,the same friends also told me that I should keep my options open.

So...just for the fun of it one night I joined a dating site,just out of curiosity,nothing else.
I didn't even put my photo on my profile as I wasn't looking for anything.
But,now I have been in contact for a while with this guy on there,just by messaging.
We haven't exchanged numbers or anything like that,he hasn't asked me any awkward questions,but he sounds really sound.
He is my age,really quite striking looking,but,it seems like talking to a friend.He told me about himself,his job,upbringing etc,and does seem quite genuine,and,we do seem to have a lot in common.

So,he asked that in a few months time or so,if we get to know eachother better first,if then maybe he could take me for a meal,just as mates,strictly no expectations?(as he likes the sound of me,and,I did send him a photo of me via the site,so he does know what I look like:-)

I have never met anyone through the internet before,and nor has he,he went on the site for the same reason,just out of curiosity and nothing else,and hi didn't expect to meet any genuine people there as he though (like me) that it might just be full of nutters!lol

So,would you go for it?
(It's like my mates said,I don't owe the guy I see casually anything,as we are not commited,and we never will be,it's just fun.But this other guy just seem to be more on my level.)

[tetti]

Yep,just had one of them,the toyboy,didn't I?
I do have a much better gut feeling about the one my age,he's striking looking,but hasn't got that arrogance about him(you know the ones,they have that cheeky,almost overconfident grin that you just know spells trouble!lol.I'm a sucker for those badboys,but as I said,it spells trouble and I want no more of that!:-).
Sure there are guys that are naughty,but nice!lol

[lou33]

the drop dead gorgeous ones, imo, through research, tend to be shallow fickle players who rely on their looks and not their brains, and are not looking for anything but a quick hit and run

[tetti]

Oh no way man,I'd never give out my landline number in a million years,not even some of my closest mates has got it!(simply because if they ring me on the mobile they can get me whenever,but as soon as my daughter's gone to bed at 7,I unplug the phone so not to wake her up,so,I only really have that landline for my family abroad to call me on)

Hahaha,this internet dating thing is something else.Started chatting to another guy around the same time as the guy who wants to meet up,this one is also drop dead gorgeous(like my gym buffs!lol),and now also wants to meet.

Well,I keep it all well away from my child naturally.She is my number 1 priority always.So any dates will,and that goes without saying,be when she stays with her dad.
And,if I do eventually meet someone who I do click with,and who I fall for and vice versa,then I wouldn't dream of introducing that person to my child until I knew it was going somewhere for sure.

I certainly do not believe in living like a nun and stay single until my daughter is out of school(like someone on this forum suggested to me once upon a time,can't remember who,told me I was selfish for wanting a man i my life.Well,sorry,but that's not how I want to live my life!lol)
Also,my daughter wants me to meet someone,bless her sweet beautiful little heart:-)
But,have to add,if that person don't get on with my child,they go!!!!!!!

[lou33]

blimey i never give out my landline number ever

mobile only

[tetti]

V true.I'm very sure he'll give me his number when we nxt chat anyway:-).He hasn't been on for a couple of days,nothng strange in that though,I sometimes go a few days too as I'm just so busy with life in general!:-)

[madamez]

Yes definitely talk on the phone before arranging to meet. There aren't any good reasons why someone would refuse to give you at least a mobile number to reach them on. OK some people will say that a man who won't give you his landline number may be married, but that's just silly monogamy-obsessive paranoia. A lot of people who do online dating have a pay-as-you-go phone just for dating because (and no offence meant to you) the guy doesn't know that you;re not a bunny boiler just as you don't know he's not an axe murderer. Good luck with him anyway.

[tetti]

Definetly,I need to try and suss him out a bit,he sounds nice enough,but I can't imagine meeting up with someone I haven't even spoken to.He suggested to meet up when we have got to know eachother a bit better,so at least he doesn't sound too urgent:-)

[lou33]

i'd text and chat on the phone before you decide to go out on a date with him

[tetti]

We have asked eachother a million questions,but haven't got to that one yet,think it's overdue,lol

[tetti]

Nope!lol.Guess as we're both very new to this we kind of don't know the drill!,haha

[lou33]

you havent even exchanged numbers?

[tetti]

Lol,no,we haven't got that far yet to even ask for eachother numbers.he just asked me if we'd get to know eachother better,would I like him to take me out for dinner and to the cinema?.The nxt step will prob be to exchange numbers(mobile ofcourse:-).Then take it from there I guess...

[madamez]

Well if you've already had a chat with toyboy about being non-exclusive then it's none of his business who else you might see. WIth regard to internet boy, follow the usual rules of blind-dating ie meet in a public place, have your own transport arrangements to get home and tell someone where you are going, who with (ie as much as you know about the guy: name, age, description) and, if you like, arrange to have a check-in call with a friend.
BTW why are you not talking to internet man on the phone before meeting? It's not unreasonable to ask if you can (is he deaf and dumb? Not allowed access to the phone in the secure unit he'd going to escape from just to make the date?)

[tetti]

Definetly,would just be nice to have had a chat with him before meeting face to face:-).Then I'd probably feel a little bit more relaxed,well,if we'd have no problems getting on,having a conversation by phone,at least then I'd know we could keep the conversation going when we do meet:-).I like the chatty types,not one for long silences,lol

[lou33]

you think you can tell a lot on the phone but the only real way is to meet face to face

[tetti]

You can tell alot about people over the phone can't u?Or on how they speak to their mates,with this guy I hope I won't hear-Yo blad,wassup!!!!(which is pretty much the words with how t bootycall answers the calls from his mates,talk about different worlds!lol)

[tetti]

hahahaha,that's so funny
Yeah,I definetly wouldn't mind having a chat with the guy,if he has a nice voice,he's in there!lol(nooo,only joking,seriously)

[ZippiBabes]

oh yes i have been put off by the voice but i hate the phone...i hate it and i run a business lol

i also get turned on by a voice but sadly its usually tiscali ireland

[tetti]

Well,keep checking that inbox,lol.

[tetti]

Hmm,you might have a point there.Think I'd like to chat to him on the phone first though as it's easier to suss someones personality out that way,and,I'd be soo put off he he had a voice like David Beckham!lol

[ZippiBabes]

why not just meet him it's really no different from any other meet..and then you wont waste time unless you just want to chat to him online which is fine

[tetti]

Lol.Nah,I think you're right.
I hope to chat to the other guy for some time before I go on that date with him,obviously.I've never done internet dating before in my life,nor has he(which is a bonus,well,I think:-).So we're both kind of nervous.I f he's as goodlooking as he is in his photo,and as nice as he seems through his mails,then it's a good start.One can never know until one actually meet him though(I'll have my mate txting me in case I need a quick escape!lol)

Just found out that someone I know actually met her partner and the father of her child on the internet,I'd never have guessed,lol.So that's shown me "normal" people visit dating sites too,and not just nutters!lol

[lou33]

lol

dont blame me if it all goes horribly wrong

[tetti]

Phew:-),thank's for the (good) advice,I'll certainly follow that.

[lou33]

keep him and shag him til you find someone you prefer, then get rid

dont bother asking how he would feel about you seeing anyone else, as it gives him a sense of relevence to your life

he's just a booty call