Ok tell me the pros and cons of having a 'boyfriend'

[MrsWho]

Is it worth the hassle?

believe me Taylorsmummy, this wasnt a choice..he just ran...was unplanned though.
Oh well im sure i wont be single for the rest of my life

Sex on tap? We're not ALL that easy, you know.

oh, who am I kidding.

my post wasn't directed at you beller,sorry.

some very and cynical posts on here

what about finding someone who you can grow to love, who you can share the good (and bad) times with, a companion, a lover (not just sex!)... basically being with someone who shares the same values as you and can someone who can enrich your life and add to your happiness......

plus if you're feeling broody it's pretty key to find a bloke

makes me sad when people say they're happier alone because being with someone means some sort of inevitable wait for them to argue, cheat, or let you down...

having just been let down in the worst possible way by my H I can see why people could think this way...

but surely it's better to see the positives in life

MyLittleStar, i agree with you. I was very badly hurt by my ex and very wary about getting into another relationship.

But now i have a boyfriend who i have been with 1.5 years and i love him as much as he loves me. We are eachother's best friends and i am so happy with him. We dont live together so i get half the week by myself which although i still miss him, i enjoy the time on my own.

I dont feel i have to juggle my ds and him as he has 3 kids too so he understands my situation and i understand his.

I too think it is a bid sad that people would rather be on their own so they have no extra stress or risk being hurt or let down, but i can totally understand that as i felt like that before dp.

taylorsmummy- sorry if that came across wrong, i know it wasnt directed at anyone in particular xx

Mylittlestar - i definately want to meet someone to love and be loved back...but as im pregnant now...think that might be in a few years time!

I am very very broody and have been for years now. I cant be bothered with a bloke though. Might find a donor.

where do you get one then Jelly?

What a donor, down the kebab shop!!!

Seriously if i cant find someone that i can love and will love me then i will consider it rather than an unsafe stand to get one.

Before I hauled my boyfriend home one fertile night, I was seriously looking for a donor. I was talking to one of my gay friends about it, but he wasn't sure, and had plans to keep asking around. Now, I've got this boyfriend on the other side of the ocean, and I'm 5 months pregnant. I must say, it's nice to have someone who's also involved with the pregnancy, who by some amazing chance also seems to be happy and excited about the coming baby, and just generally to share things with.

That said, we're not living together yet, and I have a sinking feeling that when we do I'll feel a little cramped for space, but after having nothing but space for most of my adult life, I figure it's worth the sacrifice. But I also would have been reasonably happy if I'd gotten one of my prospective sperm donors to do the deed.

Gay men are probably your best bet for sperm donation, in my experience.

don't you think the child's needs for a father should come above the woman's needs for a baby? you talk about it like he's donating bloody second hand clothes or loose change or something - this is human life!!

Who are you talking to Taylors mummy?

aikigypsy

Ummm... well, it's not really a one-above-the-other kind of thing. I know lots of people who've grown up without thier fathers around, and there's a whole range of experience with it. Besides, some gay men would really like to have children, and they would have some kind of relationship with the child, just not in the traditional father-married-to-mother kind of way.

I personally think that sperm banks are a bit scary, but that a known donor who is friends with the mother is a completely different matter.

Also, no, I don't think the child's need for a father should come above a woman's need for a baby. A lot of women are at risk of being taken out of the gene pool completely for being too intelligent (in traditionally male ways) or too ambitious in their careers, or whatever it is that turns men off these days. I think it's a bit better for younger people, in their 20s, but I just know that in my circles it can be really, really difficult to get a boyfriend. I'm in my mid-late 30s, and it took me 20 years to get into any kind of semi-serious relationship. And I don't think that the qualities that made me unattractive to men would make me a bad mother. A lot of people did say I was selfish for wanting to have a baby, but others would say that women are selfish for not having babies, so you can't win. And not everyone has the option of doing it with a man.

aikigypsy - wishing you all the very best in your preganncy and birth. it can suck sometimes being a single parent, but you get all the wonderful times as well. I think you're very 'brave'. (not quite the right word...but you know what i mean.)

by the way, I seem to be with someone at the moment, but it really didn't look like it was going to happen, ever.