What's the hardest thing about single parenting?

[Stressedoutmamma]

What's everyones thoughts on the hardest thing about single parenting?
Mine DD 4 has had a nasty sickness bug that she's passed onto me as she's g9ot better I've gotten very familiar with the bottom of a sick bucket. My mum has gone away for a few days to clear her head with my brother and my dog (thank god about dog I love her but the walks would have been impossible very active border collie ) after my dad died last month. So I am literally alone to look after a needy child and tidy up clean cook and suck up that I'm being sick every 15 mins and i feel like a train has ran over me. I just want to cry and hide for the next few days in my bed and just feel sorry for myself.

[NellMangel]

I agree you can be a parent without a man/partner madhous. But some aspects are bloody hard work when you are on your own. If that's not been your experience you are very lucky.

[MadhousMom59]

Nothing. It's nice if you have a good man.but you don't need one to be a parent.

[Aw12345]

I'm not a single parent and my baby is only 6 weeks so I can't comment on what is hardest but I just have to say after reading these replies...

Single parents are amazing, I don't know how you do it. 100% respect. Your children will look back when they're older and understand all the sacrifices you made for them. Keep at it.

[NellMangel]

My god babdoc well done. You're bloody amazing!

[Frequency]

Balancing work. On the one hand, we need money. There's only me to pay the bills, clothe and feed them. On the other hand, the kids also need emotional and practical support. There's only me to do that too. They seem to need more money and more support now they're older.

Dealing with their abusive, controlling dad. As I'm sure many of you know, leaving an abusive relationship does not stop the abuse. I had a load of vitriol off him last night because I told DD she can go skiing with the school. I'm stupid, vile, living in a dream world, grabby, pathetic, a liar and if I think he's going to give me money for a skiing trip she doesn't even need to go on I've got another coming. When I mentioned him paying the legally required amount of maintenance, so he didn't have to worry so much about my financial status, he went oddly silent.


He bought her new trainers today. She didn't need new trainers. I've just bought her some. He bought better ones. She does need school shoes but he won't buy those until after I buy her some, then he'll buy her better ones

[Chocolatecake12]

Making decisions alone - big decisions like which school to choose.

[Babdoc]

I don’t think there is just one “hardest thing”, OP. It’s all hard.
I found the combination of grieving for my dead husband, looking after two babies who were both still in nappies when he died, working full time in a high stress job as a critical care doctor, having no relatives within 250 miles, having to do all the cooking, shopping, DIY, gardening, cleaning and child care after an exhausting day in the operating theatre, having no adult company at nights or weekends, only having one weekend break away from my kids in 16 years, trying to feed and care for toddlers while ill myself with flu, trying to manage high risk patients after having no sleep for three nights running with my own sick kids, dealing with my teenage DD’s two attempted hangings, her severe depression and both of our autism diagnoses. Oh, and having an arsonist set our house on fire while we were asleep in it.
All of it. It was all beyond hard. It was an utter treadmill, and it nearly broke me. I look back now and wonder how the fuck I coped, to be honest. But I got through it. My kids are now pushing 30 and I love them to bits. We survived. You will too.
Keep on trucking, OP. They don’t give medals to single parents but sometimes I think they bloody should!

[NellMangel]

Sounds totally reasonable faster. Good luck!

[Faster]

I’m gonna tell him when I’m T minus 4 weeks.

Once I’ve sorted childcare and somewhere to live (should be sorted on Tuesday)

I’ll be asking ex to go from one night a week to EOW and I will obviously offer to do driving and drop offs with me being the one who has moved.

[NC4Now]

You poor thing. I much prefer being a single mum. Being in a relationship was hard. But being ill is difficult.
I’m a massive baby when I’m sick, which is thankfully not often.

[NellMangel]

Thanks. Lots of new starts for everyone!

Sounds good faster, I'm sure ex will get used to it. When are you going to tell him?

allgirls I was hoping it'd get easier. Mine is 4 now and needs a lot of attention. I feel guilty cos he always wants me to play with him and it gets mind numbingly boring.

[Faster]

@iblinkedanddiamond ah it’s ace that your loving it. It’s really reaffirming for me to have a job I love.
My new job means that I can move in with the New Bloke (reason number one exDp will hate it) but it means we/I will be able to give DS such a better quality of life. A home in a not shitty area, a home that I can afford to put the heating on, days out!

[Iblinkedandiamold]

Best of luck with the interview Nell. Faster congrats on the job. I just started a new job at the end of August. Loving it and loving my hours. They are long but I start early in the morning and finish just before 5pm. It's only a 15min drive from me too.

[Faster]

@nellmangel good god you’re a better woman than me if you can cope with admin. I flap like fuckerly with admin. Truly shit at it.

I googled ‘interview questions’ and my job role to help guide me through the interview. There’s loads available online. And remember, you’re assessing them as well, do you really wanna work for them?

Ds’s dad will kick the fuck off as my new job will mean me moving 45 mins away down the motorway and will change our current contact.

[Allgirlskidsanddogs]

I’m completely on my own. I went into it knowing I would be. It’s hard and I think it gets harder as they get older. No backup, shouldering everything alone, no financial help but most of all it’s the unrelenting nature of it, no breaks, not time to myself unless thye’re at schooo, and I’m not in work.

[Starlight345]

Congratulations on job . New chapter

[NellMangel]

Thanks faster it's an admin job. I need to draw a line under the last 2 years and feel like a new job would help. Am very anxious about it cos not had an interview for years.

Well done to you, will ex make it awkward for you or just make a lot of noise? Nothing you can't handle I bet.

[Faster]

For the interview that should read!

[Faster]

Well done in the interview @NellMangel what’s the job!
I got offered a job last week and it will mean a whole new start for DS and me. I’m fucking shitting it about telling his dad.

[NellMangel]

The loneliness. I've got a job interview coming up. I'd love a pep talk or someone to offload to. Then once I find out the outcome, someone to commiserate or celebrate with.

Same thing for everyday life. If DS does something funny there's no-one to share it with. I worry I'll forget it all cos it's just me that can keep the memory.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I missed having someone to share the happy stuff with - someone to be as thrilled about your DC's achievements as you are. Or to share a smile when they say something funny.

[Iblinkedandiamold]

For me the hardest thing when DS was small was it just being me (and my family but not the same) at things like his communion, confirmation, school open days etc.
Now that he's gone and left home it's the loneliness, the empty house, the quietness.

[Ellen7262]

Having nobody to chat to when my DD has gone to bed!!

[HappyHedgehog247]

Dealing with a controlling ex.

[cherry1012]

This is so horrible for you ! I hope you are feeling better now and I'm sure you pulled through ! This I think is the hardest thing as they completely souly rely on you so if your in bed you can't do their food or get them dressed play clean up wash etc but you do as you have too and what a hard experience it is ! My dd 3 Just gettin over same bug too and I didn't hav the bug (praying I don't either ) n still found it tough I felt completely alone we had to visit a n e too it was so hard but I was strong as I could be ! Did you go to gp? Hope you are better now xc