Would you move back to the UK?

[PetiteRaleuse]

I've been living in France for almost all my adult life, have two children (toddlers) here and a French husband. My husband wants to leave France, which is something I have never really considered. One of the places on his list is the UK, probably Scotland (I grew up in England).

I was a little at first but am now starting to come round to the idea as a sort of medium term goal ie within 3-5 years. I've done my living abroad thing, and I get his desire to live abroad, and the UK would be abroad for him.

Would you move or have you moved back home? If not why not? If so why? Something is bugging me about the idea and I can't put my finger on it other than I feel at home here in France.

[KleineSchnecke]

Hello, I'm new to mumsnet - I have been perusing around since January looking for advice on places to live etc in the UK and have found most of the comments pretty reliable. Me and my husband have been out of the UK for 5 years living and working in Germany. Now we have an almost 1 year old DD and we are considering a move back... it is pretty certain to be honest, but we just haven't got round to deciding when exactly. Have any of you ever dealt with a) expat mortgages; b) leaving your current resident country whilst pregnant or on maternity leave? And the implications that has (not getting the maternity pay you can claim) c) what other negatives are there in terms of returning to the UK? Our hearts are in the UK despite having a very comfortable life here. We're afraid of downsizing, unsure of moving with jobs and also fearing perhaps fictional worries of the UK that we remember... (e.g chavs, rain, bad transport, narrow roads and a feeling of not being safe...) however we're hoping to move to a place we've never lived before and by the sound of this thread, maybe we could avoid "less nice" places by living in a more expensive area? Or does that not work either? We're hoping to move to the Cotswolds area (yes i know it's a large area) which is where we married, but within 7 miles of a large town. We're so excited about a change but also worry we're leaving prematurely... Any comments would be helpful :)

[MarieJeanne]

I have lived in France for the last 20years and my DH is French. I yearn to
Move back to the UK but DH loves his job too much here and sometimes I wonder if it's not just a case of the grass being greener.
Like you we have regular holidays in England and I wonder if the day to day reality of actually living there would be a let down.
I think you need to consider schooling, imo - superior in the UK, health system, IMO - better in France. Also do you have elderly parents? My parents are in good health at the moment but I can see the day when I would like to be nearer esp as I have no siblings.
Does your DH speak good English ? If not then the responsibility will be on you to deal with a lot of admin etc.
Good luck

[Salbertina]

But completely agree about the grey

[Salbertina]

Trying - where we are in Africa, food & housing costs tons more than inUK amd on a much lower salary, high tax amd with extra costs like school/medical/dental/security!

Don't leave uK to save money unless you're on a tax free package in ME/Asia etc or all expenses paid!

[Trying2bMindful]

Btw it is not the cold that means I am leaving the UK but the incessant rain & greyness. Oh, & the cost of crap food, The never ending increase in housing costs, the chavs, the media, incompetence everywhere.
No, I should not leave France if I were you. However I am about to leave so I'm pretty fed up!

Now Paris, yes I could spend some time there! So many choices..... How about somewhere more exciting? Shanghai? We are off to Africa :)

[PetiteRaleuse]

I left Paris 6 years ago. I seriously hadn't considered going back there. Suggested it to DH yesterday and he was a little like I was when he mentioned the UK.

I don't know much about the schooling system in Scotland but I fear I know little about the system in England now. They seem to have changed a lot right through.

[Bonsoir]

On Paris, meetings that take place at lunch time provide lunch.

[JohnnyBarthes]

I end up scoffing at the station or on the street when my meeting has overrun - they regularly go right through lunch - and I have to catch the 16:00 train (the last off peak from Paddington for me). It's not naice, I agree, but I'm good at not eating between breakfast a 07:00 and home at 18:00!

A bit irrelevant, sorry

Schooling in Scotland is totally different to that in England. Indeed, the school places situation outside of London and some other areas is nothing like the horror stories you read on MN. If the SE and the capital aren't your thing, I wouldn't let that aspect put you off coming back.

[Bonsoir]

DD's (very) Parisian orthodontist told me this afternoon that he was setting up shop in London, so fed up he is of French people and their inability to evolve.

[HahaHarrie]

We left Paris and have been in mourning ever since. Don't do it. In our case, our inept French and work opportunities/experiences are why we felt we shouldn't stay. Life back in the UK, which is not my place of birth, is a lot less rich. Having said that there are good things here too...

[rushingrachel]

I lived in Paris before kids. Loved it loved it. And would go back in a heartbeat esp with a French DH. And the possibility of work. I lived in the funky 12th. Ha ha. I loved Cour St Emilion. Went to the gym then the cinema almost every weekend. But that was the single life. Maybe that's what I miss!

Bonsoir I properly agree about the eating. Who is so starving they need to stuff in a sandwich on the underground. And why does any train out of London after 2100 have to stink of burger. Disgusting. Respect for food, buying it, cooking it, sitting down for it ... That I love on the continent and will always observe.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Huh - that I didn't know. Did a temping stint at GE in Buc about 14 years ago. V short, just a few days as I got a job at La Defense. There is a v nice little restaurant in the village. Or was. Good schools in Versailles as well.

Now to plant options or ideas in DH's mind... We have some reasons for wanting to leave France but my love of The 78 has just been stoked again. It seems a lifetime away.

[Bonsoir]

Versailles market is indeed very nice! And there is an Anglophone section at the Franco-German school at Buc - very convenient!

[PetiteRaleuse]

Stop it. You're making me miss Paris. If we moved back there it would likely be somewhere out versailles way for the train line to La Défense and St Lazare, and Versailles market is my very favourite food place (lived in Versailles for two years) Was checking out rent costs on particulier à particulier - they have rocketed since I left 6 years ago. That plus acquisition of dog, cats and two children since then would make central Paris tricky.

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

I live in Southern California

The British weather is currently the only thing making me want to never move back

[Bonsoir]

I can't bear the way the British eat all day long, in the street, trains, the office! And the endless chains of restaurants.

I like my nice Parisian market, independent food shops and restaurants and food reserved for meal times.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Yes. The press is depressing. Endlessly trying to drag everyone down.

[rushingrachel]

No I'm not considering the weather either. Brussels must be the rain capital of Europe. And it's also the "dog shit underfoot" capital too. Must be more dog turd per square metre of pavement here than almost anywhere in the world. So not sure the litter worries me either ...

The relentless depressingness of British news worries me though. And house prices.

[scottswede]

I don't consider the weather a huge issue either. Sweden is cold. I lived in Florida for years and came to hate the constant heat too. At least the UK has seasons ( well sort of)
Being on here I realize that one persons hell is another s paradise.
I would need a Star Trek Holo-deck to find my perfect place I think.

[PetiteRaleuse]

We rent. Am not too worried about winters tbh. We are in the east of France. We usually (this year excepted so far) get very cold winters (weeks on end without it going above zero and weeks of snow) so winter in the UK doesn't scare me, apart from the complete chaos when there is more than one snowflake :o

[TheseAreTheJokesFolks]

petite

I would move to Edinburgh in a heartbeat if I were able to afford it. It is my favourite city and was no.1 in best places to live in the UK and probably because I am not a local and don't live there, I adore the festivals in the Summer and the Hogmanay/Winter festivals.
You need to think about schooling and also benefits...In Germany I get very generous child allowance - in England under Cameron I would get nothing. If your children are French rather than dual nationality is there not the possibility of subsidised higher(uni) education in Scotland?
The NHS provision I thought was better there and certainly if moving back I would not be having to do health insurance payments which presumably you also do in France?
I think you can have culture shock (for him) and reverse culture shock (for you) but if doing it now whilst the kids are young it is far better than later when they are settled and will hate the uprooting.
If you have put down roots in France - namely owning not renting (the latter is the norm where I am) then I would strongly suggest you rent out your home in Paris, keep a bank account open and then make a move to the UK for 6 months to two years initially and you can then move back if you rue the decision.

[snowgirl1]

Has your DH experienced winter in Scotland? My Scottish father won't consider moving from SE England back to Scotland because of the weather. Depends how affected by climate you & your DH are, but it's something to bear in mind.

[Liara]

It is a constant debate at home atm. We know we want to leave France in the next 2-3 years, but really don't know where to move to.

Negatives to moving back to the UK:

1. the weather. We live outside almost all year round, and when we get a week of drizzle we are all ratty. The idea of going back to that most of the time is depressing.
2. This could get me flamed, but the sheer grottiness of the UK. We have got used to things being clean, well kept and generally quite nice, and every time we go back we are shocked at just how not like that the UK is.
3. Property prices. We would have to downsize massively to live anywhere we would be prepared to.

Positives:

1. The education system - we currently home school, but when the dc are teenagers they are likely to want to go to school, and we think they would likely go to uni in the UK as well.
2. Proximity to friends, (although sometimes living on the wrong side of London to someone can make it really hard to meet up).
3. Being able to function in English again. We are both fluent in French, but sometimes find it quite tiresome to have to do all admin, etc in French.

We go back, and forth, and back, and forth. Currently we are veering away from going back (it's raining!)

[TheZeeTeam]

Nope. Last time I was there, I realised how overcrowded it is and how, in what were once beautiful villages, ugly new builds fill every nook and cranny.

Plus, this is now my children's home and I wouldn't want to disrupt their lives again. They've moved around enough.