A really nosy question.

[VerySmallSqueak]

I've wanted to ask this question for ages.
I'm always curious as to how people end up living overseas.
I'd love to hear people's stories - whether it's work or family or some other reason.
I'm being very nosy,but if anyone would care to share,I'm all ears!

[CiderwithBuda]

In some ways it was. Not sure I have a favourite really. There was something special about all of them. But Budapest is the most recent and I still have friends there. And am still close to friends there who have moved on but we seem to share a special bond for some reason.

It's a beautiful city and there is lots to do. Weather is great. Hot sunny summers. Short but glorious spring and autum. Cold and snowy winters.

[Meid]

I met, married and had children with my husband in the UK. He is not from the UK. He started to get homesick and really wouldn't have done anything about it. I actually pushed to move here, I thought it made sense to try it while the children were still young. Almost 5 years later we are still here.

I'm in the same country as Salbertina and can ditto her comments. It is beautiful but complex here.

[bushprincess]

hey squeak thanks for starting this thread - it's really interesting to hear everyone's stories... seems like one common theme is that once you make the plunge all sorts of other opportunities present themselves and you can find yourself 10/20 yrs down the line still living abroad (and hopefully enjoying every (most!) minute of it!)

as ciderwith says, there's some difficulties associated with moving - each time you land you have to pick yourself up and (maybe) force yourself out to make new friends... but as she also mentions, in many places the ex-pat community presents its own social network and support system...

we're just waiting to hear about our next posting and will likely be moving either heavily pregnant or with DC1 in tow... either way will be the start of another wonderful adventure!

If you do decide to take the plunge, good luck! I'm sure you won't look back!

[Belgianchox]

I left the UK after uni, went to work for a holiday company supposedly for the summer, ended up being nearly 3 yrs, after which I joined then boyfriend in Belgium. I ended up staying there almost 10yrs, long after relationship broke up, and only moved (to France) to live in DP's corner of France. Been here 6years now, and probably will be for the forseeable.

[eurochick]

I've done it twice. I'm back in the UK now. The first time was a year abroad (France) as part of my degree.

A couple of years later I heard about a fantastic opportunity for a 5 month internship in Brussels. I was lucky enough to get it. I ended up getting a job there afterwards and staying for a year and a half.

I've been back quite a few years now and have very itchy feet! I was supposed to move to the US for a 6 month secondment a couple of years ago, but it didn't work out. I'm hoping I might be able to get there one day.

[castlesintheair]

I've always had itchy feet. I lived in America, Australia and Thailand before I met DH and I did a lot of travelling. I was just heading off to South America when I met DH. Instead we stayed in UK together for 17 years. We are where we are now because we have a business here which DH was involved in from UK. He's now running it here and we all moved here for 6 months in February but have decided to stay. DCs are in local schools and loving it.

[VerySmallSqueak]

Yes bush I imagine that as you mix with like minded people information gets shared and you hear of stuff that you just wouldn't normally have any idea of.

I hope you are really happy in the next posting - it must be like waiting to open a birthday present!!!

[emmyloo2]

I have always had itchy feet, although I am living back in my home city at the moment. I first moved to the US in 2004 to do my Masters. Lived in DC and worked in New York for a period of time. Then moved back to Sydney (I am from Australia) because my then boyfriend (now DH) couldn't work in New York. We lived in Sydney for 2 years and got itchy feet so moved to Moscow. Spent 2 years in Moscow (hated it) and then moved to Aberdeen for another 2 years and had DS there. Moved back to Australia at the end of 2010 when my DS was 3 weeks old. Now have a DD (5 months) and planning another posting abroad. I am a lawyer and have worked full-time in every location. My DH is in oil and gas and has moved with his employer. His company moves people around a lot so we will have to make a decision next year as to whether we go again. I want to stay with my company but am not sure whether that will work. Currently considering KL or US (Denver or Houston). I would love to live in the US again. I adore it....

[MooseBeTimeForSnow]

Husband worked at a UK refinery which was out up for sale. A colleague mentioned to him they a Canadian company were advertising in the local paper for people like him. That was late September 2010. He had a couple of telephone interviews and then in January 2011 we were flown to Fort McMurray, Alberta for a week. All expenses paid. He was offered the job at the end of that week. He started in late March. I joined him in May, after selling our house and shipping most of the contents.

The place I now call home gets a lot of unjustified negative press. Canada is an amazing place. We're loving it.

[juniperinNZ]

DH and I always had always talked about moving abroad since we met at university. Our jobs and having DD and DS1 ended up keeping us in the UK for a while, and then the downturn in the UK economy really affected DH's profession so he sent out a couple of CVs overseas...

He is a geologist/geotechnical engineer and when the first Canterbury, New Zealand earthquake happened he got a call from a recruitment agency saying companies in Christchurch needed experienced people like him - the timing wasn't great then for us, so we'd said we'd wait a few months...

Then the February 2011 earthquakes happened and a little while after we got another call from the same agency saying two companies were really interested and could DH send out a detailed CV... an interview later, the company offering to pay all our visa, moving costs, flights etc we felt we really couldn't turn the offer down so ended up moving out here with a 3 yr old, 1 yr old and me 27 weeks pregnant! Everyone thought we were mad

Almost 2 years on we love it here, have permanent visas so can stay, and hope to :)

I do look back at the move though and wonder how we managed it all so quickly and with very young children - I think when it is happening to you, you just kind of follow along in a kind of dream (well I did anyway ) and it didn't really feel like it was happening... I don't think it really sunk in until we got here, but I was so busy trying to find a house, a midwife etc I think it helped take our mind off the enormity of it all and we found it a lot easier to settle than many people I know have made the move.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Love. DH is a Canadian.

However, I had lived abroad before and traveled all over so I think I was primed to live somewhere other than the UK.

Problem is that you can never cross the same river twice. Here will never feel entirely like 'home' but the UK doesn't really now either.

[WhatSheSaid]

Went on a years working holiday to NZ. Liked it and didn't want to leave at the end of the year so I got another work visa and then residency. Met and married dh here a few years later and have had 2 dcs since.

There wasn't a huge master plan, I arrived with a backpack and £1000 and never left :)

[VerySmallSqueak]

I am loving these replies! I don't think you realise how fascinating these are for someone who has never had an involvement or experience of this whole other world.

MrsTerryPratchett - what a good reason!

I can definitely understand the pull of both NZ and Canada.From the pictures I have seen,both are beautiful countries.

I once looked into NZ with an ex when I was young and footloose. We had none of the requirements for entry though. (and he was a tosser anyhow,but that's another story....)

That's the sort of thing that I like the sound of WhatSheSaid. A natural evolution. Shows it is possible just to 'do it'.

I can imagine juniper that if you had stopped to think about what you were doing when you did it,you would have been terrified! Good job you didn't!

[Ruprekt]

Dh is italian. And a chef.

Always wanted to have our own restaurant so we upped sticks, moved to Tuscany and ran our own place.

Ds2 was born in Italy. Water birth. Amazing!

Then dh decided he did not like the narrow mindedness of Italians, so we moved back to the UK. Had another restaurant in uk.

Have 2 boys. Very hard work to have children and restaurant.

Now in paid jobs in UK, glad of previous experiences, very happy!!

[lalasmum11]

DH was made redundant and no work where we came from, so he started looking wherever he could. Was interviewing for all over the world, some attractive places some a little scary. We have ended up in Denmark and I got a job with my old company so it's working out well all around. Tbh I always wanted to live abroad again ( went to uni and worked for five year abroad before moving home), but thought we had missed the boat once kids came along. So was delighted this opportunity came along and I think it's a great chance for the children too to see life outside of our home country.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

Got headhunted for a role in my field, for a company based in Switzerland.

Didn't think much of the company, wasn't too excited about the country from previous experience.

Came over for a curious interview - loved the team atmosphere. Said I would give it two years. Moved over with DH and DC9.

That was over 3 years ago, love living here even though I am sick of the company (team are still great though). Ideally I want DH to get a job to take the pressure off me and some health issues I have had. He is working on it. Fallen in love with the country, and the lifestyle I have.

I will be very sad if I have to leave.

[Alliballi]

Love! I married a US service member. We had planned on coming back to England after three years, but 20 years and six states later...I've made it to the East Coast!

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

I grew up abroad, wanted to live abroad when I had young children.

Had DC1 at 25, DC2 at 28 and felt I'd given up my dream of traveling to have children. So, when pg with DC2 and realizing I could no longer afford to work and DH was thinking about changing jobs I encouraged him to look outside UK (my work is freelance and project based so I'd only get work abroad for a month or two and wanted to do a few years somewhere else)

He got offered a job in LA when I was 8months pg, we moved here when DC2 was 2months, have been here 22months now

We'll most likely be here at least 2 more years, both of us up for living somewhere else after this but all depends if I can work (climbing the walls as SAHM and now waiting on my green card), aiming to take a 3-6month sabbatical when DC are around 6&9 then head back to UK to "settle" for the rest of their education

So I suppose I'm just recreating the childhood I had for my children (though I was in Sri Lanka and Lagos....somewhat different to California)

[MrRected]

To escape the corruption, crime, disease and dangerous roads in South Africa. We left as we felt our kids were at best, without prospects, at worst in imminent danger.

[Salbertina]

Hmm yes Mrrected, hear you. Its getting SO much worse in SA, just in the past couple of years and so many in denial here (with half an eye on their property prices, i reckon). I really wish we hadn't come, hard to enjoy it when you're in constant fear, cant work and it costs a bomb

[MrRected]

Sorry to hear that Salbertina. We too learned the hard way and pingponged between the UK and SA (moved three times), before finally acknowledging that the living conditions in South Africa, whilst tenable behind the electric fence were not really living conditions at all. It's a beautiful, amazing, creative, stunning country - but behind the facade, all that beauty and amazingness is at somebody's expense. I couldn't reconcile myself with that, or put my kids at risk, so we moved to Aus. Having said that if you choose to stay, then I understand that too. Try to enjoy the good bits and make a difference where you can .

[Lavenderhoney]

Well my dh was offered a fabulous package and I had one dc, heavily pregnant with another, so at least a few years of me not working. He took the job.

Its fair to say I have hated every bloody minute of living in the Middle East and I have done all the meet ups, making friends, watching them leave / get divorced etc.

I find nothing more annoying than a head tilt and someone saying " have you tried making new friends?" I want to shout " yes! And I want my old ones!"

I often berate myself for not just deleting the mails when I had the chance.

[DramaAlpaca]

This is a fascinating thread with lots of interesting stories.

It's not exactly exotic, but I'm in Ireland. Met Irish DH when he'd been working in the UK a few years. We were very settled & had no intention of leaving the UK. But then DH's job moved to the Netherlands & he did a weekly commute as we didn't want to move there - we had three very young DC & a nice life. Then things changed. He hated his job, I hated him being away, and we felt we need a major life change. We decided to try living in Ireland for a couple of years. DH got offered a good job almost immediately & we had the house sold & had moved within six weeks.

Fifteen years later, we are still here. We've just about survived the horrendous Irish recession & are very happy & settled here. I love the pace of life & the sense of community, and we are close to DH's family, who treat me as their own. Our DC have grown up with a big group of cousins around them.

Interestingly, a lot of our friends here have similar backgrounds. They are couples where one of them is Irish & the other is from overseas, who have lived in other countries but decided to settle here. I can't imagine living anywhere else now.

MrRected & Salbertina I know several families from SA who are living here now. They value the safe environment more than anything - but miss the weather!

[MaitlandGirl]

My DP is Australian and moved to England to live with me and the kids (from a previous marriage). Things were going great and although we joked about moving to Australia we weren't really serious about it. We came over for Xmas one year with the kids to see if they liked it so at least we'd know if it was a possibility when they got older but we still weren't serious about making the move.

Then DP had a nervous breakdown and it became clear that we needed to move 'home'. It took almost a year for her to get back on her feet and once things were ok again we made the decision to move. We were here within 2.5 mths of applying for our visas and haven't looked back.

I've always had itchy feet and never saw myself living in England all my life, I was always looking for jobs abroad before I got married and encouraged my husband to look for work abroad but Australia feels like home and we're never leaving. We've been in this house for almost 2.5 years and it's the longest I've lived anywhere in ages but I love it. So for now it seems as if my wanderlust has gone for good.

[SleepPleaseSleep]

What I say in summary is that it would probably be better abroad for us, certainly for our kids, and at least we'll have had an adventure out of life!

I had always fancied living and working abroad but never had the money (from traditional Northern working class background). Me and dh always seemed to be getting pee'd on in uk, so no big attachment to place, quite the reverse. Disadvantaged backgrounds, victims of unprovoked violence, etc. every time we tried to do something to improve our situation something came along and kicked us in the teeth. Fed up of paying taxes to support those richer than us while we were struggling to eat, only to be told when our turn came that the boat had left, that sort of thing. Could only afford to rent in inner city areas, not worse, but not best despite now both being working professionals. As soon as we could afford holidays we went to Europe to see if really was more socially equal and better culture, and it was. As soon as had kids really wanted out - not watching kids go through same - so dh started looking for jobs. Went with first offer to get out.

It is difficult being a stranger in a strange land, not very welcome as immigrants, and there's a language barrier for us. But we are living in a nice house in a nice area without fights outside our front door, the kids go to a school where older kids play with them not rob them of dinner money. Much better education system here, I believe better prospects for jobs whatever figures the uk produces.

Uk has gone to hell in a hand basket for working people who have no family support. The government always went on about Victorian family values and that's what you're getting - if you aren't born into right family you are stuffed. We had nothing to lose, and have gained an awful lot. Now we just have to see if I can get a job here too!