I have just come back from visiting various friends in the UK and have to admit I was appalled by the state of every house I visited bar one....

[HopeForTheJingleBells]

Not just messy, which is fine, but utter chaos and filth. Ds and I stayed over at a couple of places, and I can honestly say that I did not want ds touching the sinks as I do not think that they have ever been cleaned.
And I cannot even begin to describe the toilets.

What amazed me even more was that there was hardly enough room to walk across the living room, so strewn was it with toys, clothes (clean? dirty? impossible to tell), nappies, books, plates, dvds, boxes, folders, mugs and cups with dregs of old drinks in them.... there was often nowhere to sit except a filthy couch or broken chairs, no dining table, no coffee table.

The kitchens were disgusting. Dirty dishes on every available surface, dirty water in the sink into which various things were dipped and then left to dry on an overflowing rack, crumbs and leftover food everwhere, cooker crusted over with old food, floor so crunchy it made me feel a bit ill to walk on it in just my socks...


Basically, every place we visited (except one - and they have a cleaner, which is probably significant) was like this

Now, I am not the world's tidiest nor cleanest person. Really, I'm not. Neither is my dh.
However, there is no way on earth I would let someone into my house if it looked like that. But my house doesn't look like that. And, funnily enough, I don't know anyone here whose house looks like that.
I know people who are far messier than we are, and I know people who are much, much tidier and cleaner. But none of my friends here live in this state of squaller which seemed to be perfectly normal for my friends in England .

What was even more interesting was discussions I had with a number of people when I got back (both British and other nationalities) who all seemed unsurprised and bascially said that yes, the English were known for this


So, what is your experience? Do you notice this when you go back to the UK? How is it where you are? Or do I just happen to know some really skanky people in England :o ?

[SnowMuchToBits]

Do you not hae anyone in your house who either

a) wees over the edge of the loo (only applies to the males in our house) or

b) splashes water out of the washbasin when shaving (only dh)

If I lived in the house on my own, carpet would be perfectly hygienic. But with dh and ds???? Not a chance!

[SantaClausImWorthIt]

Nope! It's me, DH and 2 male DCs.

I think they are just all well trained!

[BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree]

but santa - once the wee has dried then of course you can't see it.

eww - do you really think your male DC's don't ever miss? Do you run up and check for sprays on the water every time they go?
Or splash water out of the bath of the sink,


Nah - I don't believe it - I have 3 male DC's - and they're prety well trained - but even so no I refuse to believe that nothing every goes astray.

And hoovering is the same as cleaning.

[BaggedandTagged]

People in HK have unbelievably immaculate homes. There is never any crap anywhere, everyone has lovely furniture and everywhere is really really clean. It's really stressful actually. Talk about pressure when you decide to have people over.

[MmeLindt]

Gosh, Hope, you have had a hard time.

I only know one family who live like this, and they live in scotland.

I do agree that Germans are more fussy about their houses and cleaning. I have a friend who, when I gave up work to have DD, asked, "but what do you DO all day? You cannot clean ALL day".

Erm, I wasn't intending to.

:)

I could not have carpet in bedrooms as my 6yo DS wees on the floor. DH was amazed at carpets in bedrooms and in pubs in UK.

It is one of his criteria for a Real British Pub. Which I had never even noticed before.

[nooka]

I've lived in the States and now live in Canada. I've not noticed any particular differences in standards of tidiness or cleanliness really, nor has anyone ever told me that the English are known to be scummy.

Some people do live in squalor. I used to work for a PCT in Inner London and the stories some of the nurses and HVs had about some of the homes they visited were really quite disturbing. However I suspect that similar stories could be had in many countries.

If I had friends who were living like this (as adults) I would be worried about their mental health, and whether they were neglecting both themselves and their children.

[gorionine]

In my house, the state will differ greatly depending on what time you come. If you arrive when I have just been back home from the morning school run, you will probably feel like running a mile as there is no room that does not look as it has been burglered! It gets better up until about 4pm when all the dcs come back
I must admit that the first time I came to the UK from Switzerland I had the same impression as OP but to their defence all my friends lived in bedsit type accomodation and often sharing with a lot of people. It is very difficult to stay clean and tidy in those places as everyone blames another one for the mess. Nowadays , my house is probably the messiest compared to my friends. My excuse (I do need one) is more Dcs than them with less space

[tinselthechaffinch]

You can clearly see died wee on toilet seats/basins.

I speak from experience as every time I clean the toilet, I am confronted with smallish, dried, yellow, puddle shapes on the porcelain.

I have a clean home OP, and I had one friend with a filthy home, and know of 2 others who live in pig sties.I made excuses to stop visiting her in the end. .

[tinselthechaffinch]

dried not died obv.

[Ormirian]

We moved into a house with carpets in the bathroom. A cream carpet

DS2 has already launched half of the contents of his bath on it. Twice. And DS1 has crap aim. So it's going as soon as christmas is out of the way.

[TheChewyToffeeMum]

I just want to ask about the bathroom carpets.

I don't think know anyone in the UK who still has a bathroom carpet but I did once visit a friend who was living in central Paris and their rented flat had carpet on the walls as well as the floor!

Anyone else come across this?

[nickytwotimes]

your pals are skanks, op.

[overmydeadbody]

HopeFortheJingleBells I think your experiences say a lot about the friends you have in England.


Your experiences certainly are NOT the norm amongst the people I know. The only house I've ever seen in the state you describe was a house I went to on a home visit for a new pupil when I worked in a nursery. And that family had serious problems.


Either you are exagerating or you have dubious friends.

[PressureDrop]

Very odd. I know plenty of people with young children who have quite messy houses (me included!), but nobody who has a filthy house like the ones you have described.

I have to say - considering your 'friends' put you up all this time, you really are quite rude and disloyal to come and bitch about them, though, don't you think?

Here's an idea. Get your wallet out and pay for a HOTEL next time.

[BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree]

actually you know what OP - yes - sometimes you might turn up to my house and see it in an absolute shit state (not at the moment - it's not too bad right now by all accounts). Maybe not all the rooms will look like it, but most could be.

I've always found it hard to keep on top of cleaning and tidying (not helped by growing up in a family where the house was never really dirty.......but never really tidy either). If I've got alot on, or I'm stressed, or feeling low then it slips.

But you know what - quite frankly - if you were my friend and judged like that.......well you wouldn't be my friend.

Thankfully my friends take me as I am. I do usually make an effort to make it look nice is someone is coming to stay/visit - however it doesn't always happen. Or I may have only got one room looking really presentable.

Thankfully my friends (imporant word there) are more likely to walk in, chuck stuff from the sofa onto the floor (so they can sit down) go and put the kettle on and launch into helping me sort it rather than judging me. and bitching about me behind my back.

I would LOVE to live in clean and tidy house.........and as such once I'm working again the first luxury I'm going to get myself is a cleaner for a couple of hours a wekk.

[BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree]

and re reading your description of the kitchen and the living room - that's my house is I leave it just one or two days without doing anything. It doesn't take long at all for absolute chaos to descend. However once you brush the crumbs away from the worktops, and pick up the crap from the living room floor - actualy it's not usually very dirty underneath at all (not that you can actually tell that looking at the surface mess)

[QuentinCrisp]

OP I am a pom living in Australia and when I first moved here I thought all Ozzie women were mad neurotic crazies who cleaned all the time.

Sadly now I've been her a while I find I clean ie hoover more regularly than I used to.

I think it's about a. associating with mad housewifes and its rubbing off on me and b. in the UK i had a fully carpeted house which I hoovered 2 x per week, here all floor boards and clean lines and F*CK ME it shows the dirt so I clean it more.

I can also second the fact that Aussies laugh at the Poms for being dirty. Sad, I know, but true all the same.

I have been back in recent years though OP and none of my friends in the UK are filthy. Are they common?

[DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain]

been thinking about this and honestly t he only home I recall ever being in which had carpet in the bathroom was in Germany and it was white carpet. They also had white carpet in the kitchen.

I found it very strange.

The only homes I can remember being in post studenty age which were unbelievably messy and IM (rather relaxed)O actually even filthy were in Germany. It may have been that with a toddler and being a SAHM I just had more time to go visiting people there so was more likely to come up against a real mess.

Actually the only time I can recall being in a kitchen so dirty and messy that I couldn't honestly face drinking even acup of coffee there was in Germany too.

Think in Berlin at least, where I was, the whole cleaning mania thing is more common from about 50+. People of that age group seem to place a lot more importance on cleaning and do a lot of it IME. I certainly saw a whole lot of messy places, not unclean (with that one exception which was really really bad), but definitely messy from parents with dc the same age as my own

[DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain]

mind you the home witht he white carpet in the kitchen and bathroom was spotless.

All chrome, white and glass and not a speck of dust anywhere

[suburbophobe]

This is an interesting discussion! And brings up some memories.

I agree with people who say there may well be mental health issues involved, or junkies(?).

Me, I wouldn't even stay in a house like that, unless it was absolutely impossible not to! Eugh!

I've seen some very skanky living spaces when I lived (and visited) in England but wouldn't say it was "typically English".

Yes, I like cleaning, (must be my Dutch genes ), I think a minimum has to be sustained, especially with kids in the house.
I like the physical action it entails, I sometimes smoke a little spliff, put on some music and dance with the hoover!!

But I would also rather read a book (or surf) than clean, so now have a mountain of clothes on the floor for the machine, but then again, just unpacked a suitcase...

Wonder how many Brits do housework on Xmas Day?!

Yea, bathroom carpets , never seen carpet cleaner up there with the shampoo and bath gels.

[edam]

There used to be a stereotype about the French that they didn't know what soap was for. Nations gives as good as they get in terms of stereotypes, I think.

My house is messy (dh is a terrible hoarder so there's often nowhere to put stuff away - although it does get stacked in an attempt at neatness). And the skirting boards are usually dusty. I generally leave spiders alone and only brush cobwebs in the corners of ceilings away once they get dusty (spiders eat flies which is A Good Thing for hygiene in my book). But floors/bath/sink/worktops etc. are always clean (unless I'm in the middle of cooking dinner).

[VivaLeBeaver]

Out of everyone I know I have the messiest house. I'm always a bit if someone calls round unannounced as the place will be a tip.

Bit its just messy clutter. I don't have clothes or dvds on the floor but there will be toys and books everywhere. Cups/plates are cleared up every day. The sinks are clean, the toilet is clean the floors are hoovered every week. More if something has been split, etc. The kitchen worktops are clean.

I feel quite happy that there are actually people out there with houses worse than mine.

[sakura]

I think British homes are really neat and tidy, cozy and lovely. In fact, British homes are the envy of the world.

Which is ironic, really, because BRitish women aren't known for being housewifey stepford wives, but I do think standards are pretty high in the UK- lots of people can afford a cleaner etc

Japan is a strange case. Sometimes they're cleanliness obsessed and traditionally zen and order have been part of their culture but I have come accross a LOT of cluttered homes, bordering on hoarding. Also the homes are badly built (wood or steel rather than bricks and stone) which gives an air of ricketyness... But I don't think Japanese women do that much housework tbh, or that they have high standards, and considering that a lot of them are housewives I find it a bit odd. They're all amazing cooks though

[sakura]

I heard Germans were a bit anal when it comes to cleanliness. Loads of women there are stepfordy housewives apparently, and I remember reading a German man's blog about the state of Russian appartments, when I thought Russians were tidy (if you ignore the poverty factor)

[Binfullofgibletsonthe45]

All stereotyping.

My dp's ex was German and when she moved out of the accom that was in his name he had to clean it as she did a runner. She lived there for 8 months alone. I nearly gagged when I saw the photos he took. Blood dripping onto cooked food in fridge, a pool of solidified blood at the bottom, crunchy lino, with congealed fat and cereal. Bath never cleaned. Air fresheners to cover the smell. Filthy knickers squished in airing cupboard.

Disgusting - but I don't base the cleanliness of the nation on the filthy biatch.

Inidentally op where do you hail from?