nearing the end now

[Thefloorislavaa]

My relative has terminal cancer and is bed bound now in the nursing home. Very limited mobility, has left the use of all his left side. Very sleepy and distant, dropping in and out of sleep when we visit and not talking very much. He is now in pain too. Still managing to eat but not much and needs help with this. Has had to have a catheter. We are not sure how long he has left but was wondering if any one has any experience how long it may be. He says he is fed up and ready to go. So sad to see him like this

Really sorry to hear this OP, what a tough time for you all. Hope you’re remembering to take care of yourselves, eat a little, drink, sleep.

its really hard for anyone not there to say - can you ask hospice staff? This is what they do, and part of their job is to look after you.

much love - it’s agony.

Hey, I was going through this with my mum when you wrote this and couldn’t face replying at the time. When someone stops eating or drinking seems to be a sign. I followed hospice nurse Julie and hospice nurse Hadley after my mum went but I wish I had before it would have made the whole process a lot less scary.

Your body is designed to ‘go’ comfortably which is absolutely amazing. It puts you in a place where you don’t feel much pain and the hospice takes care of the rest.

sorry you’re going through this it’s hell.

xx

Also apparently when people stop taking fluids let them take the drip out as your body goes into ketosis and puts you in a euphoric state. When they leave the drip in it can cause pain x

Really-very interesting. Do you have a link to this evidence?

I’ve got it off the hospice nurses I follow, if you have TikTok she’s called hospice nurse Julie. It’s under the video called ‘No IV fluids’. A few of the others have echoed this in their videos.

Also have done a bit of googling and found this -https://www.nursingworld.org/~4af0ed/globalassets/docs/ana/ethics/ps_nutrition-and-hydration-at-the-end-of-life_2017june7.pdf

not read it all, but worth a look if you’re interested

He really shouldn’t be in pain. You should ask the home about palliative care. We nursed my mother at home when she was dying and we had loads of drugs for her. If she was uncomfortable we could phone the district nurses or the palliative care team and they would come out and give her something. If you ask the nurses they will know within a day or two how long your relative still has. It’s not the most pleasant thing to watch but we felt privileged to have nursed mum and been with her at the end.

Thank you everyone for your messages.

Sorry to hear about your mum too @Thby2023. I will have a look at the hospice nurse videos.

He was in the nursing home but he has now been moved to a hospice for more one to one care now a bed has become available there. The doctor has been to see him and has said he’s very likely in his last few days now but he has now been given medication to make him more comfortable

Thank you. Still grieving horribly (I made a thread a week or so back saying she has hours to left) but never regretted moving her there for a second.

Hospice is honestly such a lovely place for your final days. They really really look after the person who is passing and who loves them. They made it such a lovely ending for my mum and we were able to watch tv and order pizza etc as a family. Even put 2 beds and comfy chairs for us to be with her x

@Thby2023 I have now seen your post on here. So sorry to hear about your lovely mum. sending you strength for the coming days and weeks. I’m glad your mum was comfortable in the end and that you could be there with her.
My relative is also 62. Life can be so cruel.

The nurse came early this morning and he was given hours but is still with us although they don’t think it will be long. The hospice staff here have been so lovely too and supportive and making sure he is kept comfortable as possible. It was his wishes to be in a hospice at end of life so I’m glad they were able to provide a bed for him when it became available xx

@Thefloorislavaa thinking of you. 62 is much too young. Life can be so cruel x

Thank you @Thby2023

He passed away peacefully this morning x

So sorry to hear this, but glad it was peaceful. Sending hugs x