Mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in July, Whipple was a possibility but liver mets were found on the PET scan which put paid to that. Opted not to go for chemo.
Been keeping it together for a while with the odd wobble but am exhausted and it kind of came to a head at the weekend. Have GAD and panic disorder with a side order of health anxiety. Been in a near constant state of panic since then with splitting tension headaches and been signed off work by the GP.
She's getting increasingly confused and in constant pain. It's killing me trying to put on a brave face and I feel like I'm being a rotten daughter. My brother moved back in with her when his marriage broke up and is taking on the bulk of the care with his girlfriend who is amazing. Feel guilty about this too. Don't have a support network as am single and friends have their own issues to deal with.
It's so bloody hard.
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Life-limiting illness
Mum has advanced pancreatic cancer and I'm not coping
Auldspinster · 21/11/2023 19:23
Auldspinster · 21/11/2023 19:47
There's Marie Curie nurses involved now. Her liver mets are small so I was advised that shouldn't affect how metabolises the morphine.
She was prescribed pregabalin but it's made her very confused. I am in touch with a former colleague who is a palliative care consultant and her advice has been invaluable.
My brother has been absolutely brilliant managing her meds. She's on 40mg slow release morphine which is supplemented with oramorph and the district nurses come to inject her as needed.
I feel like the weak link. Hit my head off the fridge door (no signs of concussion but that doesn't stop my health anxiety going nuclear) this evening to cap everything. I lost my dad to a brain haemorrhage in my early 20s and went to pieces afterwards. Don't think that'll happen this time but very close to my mum so it will be tough. The hardest thing is the uncertainty.
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