Must I recognise a new will

[Nightowlsleeps]

My Mother has recently died.

I have two brothers and we all thought my Mother’s will left everything to be split between us equally and it was written 10 years ago. I have been left executor of her will.

Today, I was sorting some paperwork out and have found a more recent will. It leaves £100 to each of my brothers and the rest to me - I’m horrified! It is dated a year ago, during which time my Mother started to dislike people for silly reasons, often being quite nasty.

I know I could do a deed of variation to reinstate my brothers’ shares, but they would be so hurt and I’m worried it will change our relationship.

What are the penalties if I “un-find” it. I wouldn’t be defrauding anyone but myself. The 10 year old one was drawn up by the family solicitor, but the newer one looks like an on-line one witnessed by neighbours.

I’m sure this change was because of early stage dementia. We had just approached the GP about it before she died, but with C19 hadn’t got very far. I’m so upset about it. We’ve only just had the funeral, so other than use the centralised website to let government agencies know, I haven’t done anything yet.

[Rolopolo2000]

Pleased it’s worked out

But I would be disturbed my brothers knew and didn’t tell me but instead were “fairly certain” I’d be fair. Presumably talking between themselves.

[Rae36]

You are a lovely family. So many families lose all sense of kindness and fairness when money is involved.

Glad it's all sorted.

[GertiMJN]

Oh I'm so glad it's out in the open.
A real testament to you all

[tribpot]

Good, I'm so glad this has worked out as I think your mother would have wanted it when she was in her right mind. I was going to warn that when I inherited from my grandfather I received a copy of the will along with the cheque and had to sign to say I had no further claims against the estate, so assuming that is usual practice your brothers would have found out at that point anyway.

I'm glad they had faith in you to rectify this without adding to the pressure of recent grief.

[Nightowlsleeps]

Thanks for all the help and kind words - they are much appreciated.

I had diner with my brothers yesterday (please, no comments about social distancing) it was to discuss a strategy for disposing of assets and whether anybody wanted any particular items/keepsakes.

They both knew! They didn’t want to put pressure on me so weren’t saying anything. Apparently, I will never make a living playing poker, as I can’t lie for toffee. My Mother had threatened them with this and shown it to them when she was having an irrational period. Apparently, they were fairly certain that I would be fair, but didn’t like to mention it- when they saw how upset I was they guessed what it was about. We discussed how it was her illness talking and not her. It’s still stings, but doesn’t hurt.

All sorted now. Appropriate keepsakes for all and a fair division of money. Everyone with a task to help sort out the estate, so nobody feels left out.

[etopp]

@MNOverinvestor

Can I add that your mother seems to have raised all of you very well...

I would second that.

[GertiMJN]

Present the latest will and do the deed of variation, but don't keep it secret, you'll be found out somehow. Additionally, as its you gifting the money to your brothers and not your mother you may need to survive the gift date by 7 years before it's officially out of your estate for IHT purposes

This isn't correct, Hohofortherobbers. Any changes made in the deed of variation will be treated as if the deceased had written them into the original will. The distribution of assets would NOT be a gift from the OP, they would be treated as bequeaths from the deceased and any inheritance tax would need to be calculated at the time of executing the will.

[Hohofortherobbers]

Present the latest will and do the deed of variation, but don't keep it secret, you'll be found out somehow. Additionally, as its you gifting the money to your brothers and not your mother you may need to survive the gift date by 7 years before it's officially out of your estate for IHT purposes.

[Cosyjimjamsforautumn]

Ask the solicitor about a deed of variation so you can indeed split your DM estate 3 ways if that is what you wish.

[FourPlatinumRings]

Glad you got decent advice in the end, OP.

[MoonJelly]

When my grandmother died, she left out of her will a neighbour who did an awful lot to help her. My mother just instructed the solicitor to send the neighbour some of her portion and, without lying, at least give the impression that she had in fact been remembered in the will.

[cabbageking]

You can show the new will to the solicitor, get them to sort it and split the money equally. You do not have to share the will with anyone not named and can stop any hurt by sharing the funds yourself.

[RedHelenB]

I think you need to be honest and show your brothers both wills , explain about the dementia and say when your mother was of sound mind she wanted it split equally and this is what you are doing.

[MNOverinvestor]

Can I add that your mother seems to have raised all of you very well...

[DameCelia]

@zafferana , did you not read @serialgrannie's excellent and correct comment?
If you are not a solicitor your opinion about your own intention to commit criminal offences by swearing an oath that you didn't know of a later will is irrelevant and unhelpful.

[zafferana]

I'd shred it and deny any knowledge of it to anyone who asks.

[Nightowlsleeps]

Thank you all for the replies. I’ve slept now and am a bit more rational.

I’ve thought about it now and I’m going vary the latest will to apply the wishes of the original one. I will do so with a solicitor and I will likely use the one who wrote the original will. As we all “knew” what was in the original one and have an electronic copy of it, I hope neither of my brothers ever look it up on line and will arrange for the solicitor to disperse the money when it’s due. I’m the executor in both wills, which makes it easier.

I just hope they never find out. In rational thought, they won’t blame me and will realise it was the early stages of my Mother’s illness talking. Emotional thoughts are often stupid and insidious, which could harm our relationship and their memories of our Mother.

Thanks for all your help. It was never a case of whether I would share, just how to do so in the best way for all.

[GertiMJN]

Deed of variation on the new will is the only way that is both legally correct and morally fair.

[serialgrannie]

I don't usually post on these threads (retired solicitor) but posters PLEASE don't post on legal matters if you have no legal knowledge. OP (assuming you are in England/Wales) - follow the excellent, correct, and qualified advice from phr47bridge. Just quietly execute a deed of variation and distribute accordingly. Then everything remains legal - your brothers need not know.

[Happygogoat]

Come clean with your brothers and follow the new will, but do a deed of variation/gift the money as you see fit to reflect the "old" will.

It's hurtful, but you shouldn't have to carry this secret around, nor have it hanging over you that it will come out one day and get you in trouble. Hopefully your brothers understand and the fact you'll support them and not be grabby is the main thing.

Good luck OP

[user1497207191]

"Advice" to destroy it is really bad/dangerous advice.

What if the mother (due to dementia) also wrote another will earlier leaving all her money to the local cat's home which had been registered or prepared by a solicitor, before her "apparently" final will leaving it all to the daughter?

In that case, the cat's home will would stand (due to having been registered) and none of the family would get anything.

In my opinion/experience, it's better to be honest, tell the brothers, agree to split it as per original 3 way plan. Dishonesty often has a way of coming back and biting you on the bum!

[JollyAndBright]

I would file it in the bin (or even burn it) and then forget ever finding it.
If it is ever brought up I would deny all knowledge.

My relationship with my sisters is more important than following the law to the letter.

[prh47bridge]

Each beneficiary has a iht free allowance

No, they don't. There is a single IHT allowance for the estate (£325k currently) and there is an exemption for anything left to the deceased's spouse, civil partner, charity or community amateur sports clubs. How the estate is distributed between the OP and her brothers will make absolutely no difference to the amount of IHT payable.

@Nightowlsleeps - From a legal perspective you are required to follow the latest will. Your brothers would not need to know if you executed a Deed of Variation to reinstate their shares - as you would be the only beneficiary giving up part of your entitlement no-one else would have to sign the Deed of Variation.

[RockCrushesLizard]

Will your brothers definitely read either will?
I'm wondering if you could follow the new will legally, then you could simply transfer the money from your account to theirs - it's yours by then, so you can gift it?

[PurBal]

If the will is valid, and I assume it is, you can't ignore it. However, you could say to your brothers "I think we should split equally". That's your choice. FWIW this is happening to my family at the moment: £150k to one sister, £10k to another. It's horrible, but "fixing" the will won't take away the hurt.