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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Legal matters

Received a letter stating that STBXH has died...

37 replies

SteadyHand · 27/10/2015 09:28

I have received a letter from a debt collection agency stating that my STBXH has died and can I please forward his death certificate to update their records.

The thing is, he is very much still alive.

He left in May, has moved in with the OW and has been struggling for money ever since, as he hasn't been working up until this week. He hasn't been reliable in paying maintenance and I had received letters about other debts in his name, stating that he's stopped paying them all.

Am I to assume that he's told this company that he has died, to avoid paying? If so, should I ring the company and tell them, or is this a matter for the police? (Not sure if it is, as he hasn't exactly faked his own death, just lied about it).

Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

OP posts:

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SteadyHand · 27/10/2015 10:29

The letter was addressed to 'The executor of the estate of Mr X', hence why I opened it, because that is me.

OP posts:

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lorelei9 · 27/10/2015 10:35

Given that you're the executor, I think you've got to tell them the truth.

don't worry about whatever conspiracy he might have created, it's not your job to go along with it. (has he really though?!)

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hackedoffnow · 27/10/2015 10:37

I wouldn't get in contact at all this is not your problem. Horsey has the best advice - write not at this address and repost. Also can you get him removed from the electoral roll as living at that address.

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GruntledOne · 27/10/2015 10:37

If he was dead, and you were still married, wouldn't you then be liable for all his debts ?

Nope, not unless they are joint debts.

And don't ring the police, if he is trying to defraud someone it isn't you, and you don't know that this isn't a mistake by the debt collection agency.

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notapizzaeater · 27/10/2015 10:38

What a low life, I'd phone and give them his new details

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GruntledOne · 27/10/2015 10:40

You can't be the executor, OP, if he's not dead. Even if you were named as executor in his will, you presumably don't know whether he's changed it.

By the way, if he's named as executor in your will, get it changed immediately.

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Scarydinosaurs · 27/10/2015 10:42

Wow.

Ok, best way to move forward is to contact him and ask if that is what he's told them- you need to work out if this is an underhand tactic or not.

Also, he's, return all post.

Also, get divorced ASAP.

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Lynnm63 · 27/10/2015 10:47

If it were me I'd ignore it. I don't think I'd want to get involved. Id send every letter back marked 'gone away'. However as he stole your rings and spent your club card points I can see why you'd feel like dropping him in it. He is a scumbag I can see why you're divorcing him. The thing is do you want to enter into dialogue with debt collectors and if you start you may find more of them come crawling out of the woodwork looking for information and/or money from you.
I know you're not liable but do you want lots of letters from them.

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suzannecaravaggio · 27/10/2015 10:53

It's a scam, they don't really think he's dead

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GingerIvy · 27/10/2015 11:11

I think the best thing is to just ring them and tell them the truth. Don't get sucked into any other discussion validating any debt, as it's not your debt to validate or confirm. Just stick to the facts. "He no longer lives at this address. To the best of my knowledge, he is not dead. This is the current address that I have for him. Goodbye." No further information is needed from you.

This covers you if the company is legit, so you're not putting your foot into some mess. And if it's a scam, then they can bloody well scam him at his new address, can't they? Not your lookout.

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Norland · 27/10/2015 13:02

Sounds like a scam. Debt collection agencies have been sending letters making claims on the 'dead' for at least five years
forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=234721

If he was dead and you sent a copy of the death certificate, then you might find some spurious claims being made against you, as a beneficiary of the estate, claiming he owed money to XYZ and they've acquired the debt.

The only question you really need to answer, is: - do you want any contact with the debt collectors? If no, ignore their letter (and any subsequent ones)

Obviously if you'd like to inflict trouble on your ex, then, if he's as bad with money as you say and you think this may well be true, enter into a dialgue with the debt collection agency. You can be sure your personal details will then be sold on by said DCA to anybody prepared to pay the DCA £10 (or a packet of fags and a pint)

As for the comments further up thread about morals; well, if you decide to act to assist a third-party in causing trouble for your ex, perhaps you would need to look to your own morals?

There's some good advice on Mumsnet but for DCA woes, there are better websites.

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peteneras · 31/10/2015 03:27

Talking from experience, don’t ever get involved with debt collecting agencies. I was kind enough to give permission to a ‘friend’ to use my address for ‘some temporary bank letters’ while he’s out of the country. That bastard never returned and all I got was threatening letters from debt collecting agencies.

For the next 12 years!