how do you respond when people look at you in horror at the amount of children you have, and than ask "how the HELL do you cope??"

[psychomum5]

my standard response is normally "A lot of wine and a good sense of humour!".., but last night it was a serious question, and they looked at me slightly when I responded like that this time.

It was the scout committee meeting (I have been roped in, on top of having to be on the parents committee with dancing too......me thinks I have 'mug' written on my head), and I was a little , now what do I say......

thing is, I just do. the question was posed to two parents of 'onlies', and so I guess for them he thought of five is a small nightmare, but even so........telling them I just do also did not seem to be the right response either. (they did another face.....probably assuming that I was lying, or at best faking it!).

what do you say???

[juuule]

"although it does feel like I am running a company on the brink sometimes..."

I know what you mean

[mulranno]

I often answer "I dont think I do..!" just to make them feel better sometimes I think they are looking at me thinking - you are not coping...but I think I will now use the "fab arnt I" response. My sisters say I am a lesson of why not to have lots of kids which is a worry - but they have spent a lot of time with me on holiday...so see the hard work...I find it rewarding although it does feel like I am running a company on the brink sometimes...need to be really on top of stuff.

[MoshiMoshi]

I am due number 4 but still think if I were to have another couple of kids it would be easier juggling everything than when I was working as a corporate lawyer in the City where I had no control over my days/nights! So I tend to mention it being easier than when I was working with three and then mention the book "A Squash and a Squeeze" to give them an idea!

[Astarte]

My only response to the look of horror on people's faces when asked how I would cope with 4 (when heavily pg a few weeks ago) was....

"Oh I'll be absolutely fine, I'm really rather good at it you know".

Some people have lol at this retort, some have looked quite miffed at my flippancy.

No.4 is now here and you know what....I am actually rather good at it!

If I didn't have to be pg again I'd have 6!

[n5rje]

I think that sometimes people who ask that are the ones that do absolutely everything for their children and so can't imagine doing it for more then one or two. People are often genuinely surprised when I tell them that my three older DSs (all under 10) get their own breakfast if necessary, are all quite capable of making a sandwich if they want one, can get themselves bathed and ready for bed if I'm busy with DS4 who's 11 mths. I spoke to someone recently who's 9yo couldn't make a bowl of cereal.

[juuule]

Another of my responses is "I have no idea".

[robinia]

I say, and believe, that the more you have the more they play together and look after each other and the less I have to do .

Dh and I can sit and read the Sunday papers uninterrupted, much to the envy of or friends with smaller families.

The kids just get on with it and learn to be independent more quickly.

Having said that, I do hate shopping with all of them, or having to take all of them anywhere that is not of particular interest to them.

[bumpybecky]

I never get asked. Must be all the shouting - I'm obviously not coping

I'm going to try and remember Fattiemumma's Mum's answer about the cupboard under the stairs just in case I ever have a serene day and someone asks!

[Ceolas]

I find it odd that people ask this. Are they stuck for conversation? You just do, don't you?

[BoffinMum]

Fourth on the way, but get this comment a lot, because I also have quite a demanding job. I don't find it that hard tbh. The existing 3 tell each other off and keep each other in line. They are quite helpful domestically as well. I think they realise it would soon descend into anarchy and chaos if they didn't co-operate with the parent side of things, and they don't want that!

[CarGirl]

I often explain how they entertain each other so whilst you feel like it's running a cafe & laundary service they bounce off each other so it's emotionally less exhausting.

[Sorrento]

Lol I just smile and say well they are so good, aren't I lucky

[GypsyMoth]

I always get asked'don't you own a tv!?'.... Very predictable. Or I get' 5 kids? You look well on it' as they pointedly look at my flat stomach!! It's as if I'm expected to have let myself gone to the dogs!!

[Lindenlass]

that so, fabbie? We don't have any benefits 'cept child benefit, and it's not exactly worth having another child just to get that!

You bored tonight?

[scienceteacher]

If only, fabbie. The only thing we get from the govt. is CB. They can't even provide us with decent schools.

[fabbiemamma]

I think they are just doing it for the benefits of course

[scienceteacher]

"They kept on coming..."

"They bring each other up..."

"They tumble up..."

"I'm doing my bit for Blighty..."

[Lindenlass]

I say that I don't know, I just do!

I usually elaborate by saying that, like others have said, 1-2 was really tough, but 2-3 and 3-4 were not nearly so difficult.

And that your capacity to cope grows as your family grows. It's easier when you're talking to a mum of 2 cos you can say 'when you had your second, didn't you look back on the nightmare of new-baby-ness when your first was born and wonder why you found it so hard?' and then say it's been the same each time. I coped with my first, and I coped with my second and knew I'd also grow the capacity to cope with my third and fourth.

[Gorionine]

ROFL @this thread!

I have often seen the look of horror on people's face, but nevr have I been asked directly how I cope. I think the smoke comming out of my ears and the blood injected eyes might put them off a bit...

[procrastinatingparent]

I tell them I have very low standards.

That has the merit of at least being true.

[TheyCallMePeachy]

"I ahve a very good husband" (who is currently hiding in bed an hour after get up time )

I once joked "Fab aren't I?" to a school Mum who turned out not to have a SOH. OOps