Hi have 3 beautiful children- aged 7, 5 and 2.
Initially, hubby and I were decided that our daughter would be the last. But for about a year we have both felt broody. We have been trying for a fourth and sadly had an early MC in autumn '23. Despite our best efforts, we haven't conceived again- and had the last month "off" as DH works away.
Youngest has turned two and is full-pelt into the independent and furious when she doesn't get her way mode.
I will soon be 41 and DH only a couple of years off 50.
I keep worrying that maybe we are too old now (although my own mum was 43 when she had my sister) and keep questioning if it's the right decision to keep trying.
In my head, I feel like perhaps we should give it one last shot this cycle and then accept the outcome. But then the other part questions if I'll always feel there was someone "missing" if we don't keep trying.
I feel like I pretty much talk myself out of it, list the reasons in my mind why it's sensible to stop at 3, but then a little voice in my head is whispering away and saying no, you need this 4th baby.
Is there anyone else here who's an older mum, with similar age gaps and did have the 4th? Was it the right thing or do you find it a real struggle?
Mentally I was very unwell after No2 but fine after no 3. I have ADHD (undiagnosed) and find life a struggle in terms of keeping on top of housework, and general life Admin. But then with 3 kids already and the chaos and noise that goes with it; I think how much harder, really, could one more be?!
If we got pregnant next month, the kids would be 8, almost 6 and almost 3... but then I'd be "restarting the clock" on nappies, sleepless nights, daytime naps etc.
I just feel so so torn