Anyone had 3 kids over 40?

[puffysthename]

Hello,
Just wondering about experiences of having 3 kids over the age of 40... I had my first at 40, second at 41 (nearly 42) and would like to have a third but people seem to think I'm mad. Everything was straightforward the first time around but I was more run down in the second pregnancy with spd and back pain meaning I wound up on crutches. The second birth was also traumatic but still I would go again. Can't shake the feeling that I'm not finished. Am I mad?
Would love to hear your experiences.
Thank you

[Treesnbirds]

I just listened to a book on audible called The Well Lived Life written by a doctor who is 103. There was a chapter in that saying plenty of people have babies well into their 40's or even 50's (!) and always have,

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0BKH1FZ36?sourcecode=ASSORAP0511160006&shareelocation=libraryoverflow

My mum had my sister at 43, I have a friend who had her second at 46, I think you're in with a good chance, good luck 😍💖

[Treesnbirds]

P.s. I had my 4th at 42 and she was a complete surprise, so I definitely think fertility is a complicated thing.

[Mary7241]

@puffysthename

Hello,
Just wondering about experiences of having 3 kids over the age of 40... I had my first at 40, second at 41 (nearly 42) and would like to have a third but people seem to think I'm mad. Everything was straightforward the first time around but I was more run down in the second pregnancy with spd and back pain meaning I wound up on crutches. The second birth was also traumatic but still I would go again. Can't shake the feeling that I'm not finished. Am I mad?
Would love to hear your experiences.
Thank you

In very similar position. Gorgeous waterbirth at 38, placental abruption and c section at 40. I also want a third and am considering cracking prett much straight on (41 with 3yo and 3mo) when I return to work…
i would prioritise rest and self care during the pregnancy, as I think that had a massive impact. Also not 💯 convinced on fertility … there are lots of women who have had babies post 40

[shoppingshamed]

I guess it must depend on your circle, I can't imagine anyone I know thinking it was unusual, loads of women have babies in their 40s. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks, would you really not have the number of children you want because of other people think?

I'm sure you know that it's impossible to predict how it might turn out, not an easy desicion but make it for your own reasosns

[puffysthename]

@shoppingshamed

I guess it must depend on your circle, I can't imagine anyone I know thinking it was unusual, loads of women have babies in their 40s. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks, would you really not have the number of children you want because of other people think?

I'm sure you know that it's impossible to predict how it might turn out, not an easy desicion but make it for your own reasosns

Sorry - I mean they think I'm mad in terms of the work and expense of three kids. Almost everyone comments on this.

[puffysthename]

@Treesnbirds

I just listened to a book on audible called The Well Lived Life written by a doctor who is 103. There was a chapter in that saying plenty of people have babies well into their 40's or even 50's (!) and always have,

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0BKH1FZ36?sourcecode=ASSORAP0511160006&shareelocation=libraryoverflow

My mum had my sister at 43, I have a friend who had her second at 46, I think you're in with a good chance, good luck 😍💖

Thank you. Yes- I've been very lucky with fertility thus far. Of course that's not to say it would be the same a third time. I will check out the book.

[Ididntmeantoyou]

Nearly. I had mine at 37, 39 and 45. Number 3 took 3 years to conceive but in the end it worked. My recovery after birth number 3 has been by far the quickest - I really hit the ground running - but it has needed to be with the other two still quite young. I’ve had 2 consultants and 2 midwives telling me there is no medical reason not to go for a fourth (not that I’m intending to, but it was very nice to hear). And so far, the other two children love having a baby. So, go for it, I say!

[HelenHywater]

I had my last baby when I was a couple of years short of 42. Pregnancy was horrendous due to hyperemesis, but labour and baby years were absolutely fine.

The thing I would say is that you need to look further than the very young years. You'll be over 60 when the baby turns 18. My friends dealt with the teen years much younger than I am (now 53 with a nearly 12 year old) and by my age my contemporaries all have older (university) aged children. By their mid 50s they were all able to put more money into their pensions, downsize, go on holidays in termtime, buy second homes etc. Maternity leave means a reduction in what you're putting into a pension too. (if you aren't thinking about retirement now, you should be! In any case you will be thinking about it in your mid 50s). I still have to fund university, can't downsize, can't think about cutting down my hours or changing jobs

I'm fine from an energy and health perspective, but it is expensive and you really need to think about this. I have no regrets btw!

Of course also consider the possiblity that your next child might have a disability, might be twins or your marriage might break down (mind did while I was pregnant with my last child!).

[HelenHywater]

• a couple of weeks short of 42!

[crumblingschools]

Think of the teenage years, they are expensive and possible university costs. Will you be able to fund them?

[puffysthename]

@Treesnbirds

P.s. I had my 4th at 42 and she was a complete surprise, so I definitely think fertility is a complicated thing.

Fab, thanks for your reply

[puffysthename]

@Ididntmeantoyou

Nearly. I had mine at 37, 39 and 45. Number 3 took 3 years to conceive but in the end it worked. My recovery after birth number 3 has been by far the quickest - I really hit the ground running - but it has needed to be with the other two still quite young. I’ve had 2 consultants and 2 midwives telling me there is no medical reason not to go for a fourth (not that I’m intending to, but it was very nice to hear). And so far, the other two children love having a baby. So, go for it, I say!

What a great story, fab and good for you xx

[puffysthename]

@crumblingschools

Think of the teenage years, they are expensive and possible university costs. Will you be able to fund them?

Good point. We are lucky in that we would be able to fund university for 3.

[Mohammammy]

You don't have to be "crazy." Everyone has their own unique circumstances and desires. If you feel that you have not completed your family journey and want another child, this is absolutely normal. It is important to listen to your feelings and be prepared for possible challenges. It may also be worth discussing this with your partner and perhaps your doctor to consider all aspects of pregnancy and childbirth after 40.