2 kids sharing a bedroom

[Colourfulpens2]

We live in a 3 bed house, 2 doubles and 1 box room.

We are expecting baby No. 3 soon and we plan to soon move our two existing kids in the double room (at the moment one has the double and one has the box). The plan is to move the baby in the box room.

We have a DD 4 years old and a DS 2 years old. The DD wakes sometimes in the night to go to the toiler or has nightmares and starts screaming while DS is very chilled but still in nappies.

I don't know how the logistics will work with both of them in the same room and how they won't be awake both of them multiple times a night because of room sharing.

To complex further things DS (2 years old) sleeps at 7pm and DD (4 years old) sleeps at 8pm...

Any advise will be very welcome!

I would wait and see how they are once the baby is ready to move out of your room. You are looking at least 6 months plus so there could be a big difference in the two children by.

I have 3 DCs.
8yo DD, 6yo DS and 3yo DD.
For a long time, before we even had youngest DD, eldest DD and DS chose to share a bedroom 🤷🏻‍♀️ They had the biggest room, with a set of bunk beds.
Now we’ve moved to a much smaller house. Both DDs now share the middle room and DS has the box room.
He was a bit nervous about moving into a room on his own because he’d always had his big sister there with him. But I made a huge deal about how he’d have more space for all his toys, and how that would be his own private space. He loves it now. It’s like a proper little man cave 😂
As for differing bed times, it doesn’t really make much of a difference for us. Youngest DD has the bottom bunk, eldest has the top. I got eldest DD a little reading lamp, so she goes and gets in bed at the same time as youngest DD, but she’s allowed to read or colour in her colouring books for an hour after that. I go up after an hour, say goodnight to her and take the reading lamp away. Youngest DD is dead to the world and not disturbed by eldest Dd at all.

Do you know what sex the baby will be? I would find out and plan for them to share with the child that's the same sex, rather than DS and DD sharing, long term. If it's a boy that would be ideal from that point of view since they'll be just as close in age.

Then you have a choice whether to keep the baby in with you for perhaps a year until they're ready to move in with their brother/sister, or have the older to share temporarily and end up switching the rooms round again.

This is sort of what we're doing except eldest child is DSS who comes EOW, and the age gaps are larger. He goes to bed once DD(4) has gone to sleep, and tends not to wake her even though he's quite loud getting onto the top bunk. Him being there does disturb DD and she can be harder to get to go to sleep, which is a pain, but she does eventually. You might find your kids become more used to it as it will be every day rather than a change to their routine, and it will probably also work in your favour that the chill child goes to bed first.

The plan is to swap things over so DSS is in the box room and DD1 and DD2, who's currently a baby, are sharing, once she's old enough to go in a bottom bunk.

Keep the children in separate bedrooms and the baby’s cot in your room. Eventually you will move 2 children of the same sex into the bigger room and the other sex in the box room. That’s what it was like for me when I grew up in a 3 bed house and one of 3.

The new baby will be DD but I think for the first years it doesn’t matter that much which sex siblings sharing a room. At least until primary school!

I can’t have a eg 10 month old baby DD and her almost 5 year old DD sister sharing a room just because they are both girls. None will sleep I guess with frequent baby wakings!

The two older kids would have to share for a couple of years until at least the baby can go to a bottom bunk bed.

It’s the logistics of having a tricky 4 year old and a 2 year old sharing a room that worries me…

My 8 year old brother shared with our 2 year old brother. That’s the age my parents decided to move them into the same room. I had the smallest room because I was the only girl.

It’s normal irl most people I know have kids sharing rooms. My 3 share through choice

I've no idea but am in the same position and don't know what to do either!

Let me know what you decide...

I’ve a 3 and a 2 year old and they share a box room - originally in two mini cot beds and now in adapted bunks. It works fine! They go to bed at the same time (8 ish in our house, due to dinner & play post work). The younger one would go down earlier but she stretches. Took a few nights but they no longer wake each other at all overnight (neither currently sleep through, but they didn’t anyway). If anything. Often I can hear them chat and reassure each other and not ask for us! We do stories all together in the eve. In the mornings it’s lovely as they get up and play. Boy girl by the way. But they are kids and best friends. Not sure I understand the sex specific sharing so young!!

I was worried before I did it but it works well as a set up. Older one is managing great on a top bunk with added bed rails for security. Younger one still has a smaller mattress that gives space for storage under the bed too.

Yes, it doesn't matter now, but it will long term so unless you're planning to move house before it starts to matter, you're probably looking at moving DS into the big room for no more than a year and then back again.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having the boy and girl share for a couple of years until your baby is a toddler, and then putting the two girls in the double and giving DS his own room.

I wouldn't ideally want an under 2 sharing with a primary aged child but that's because mine was always waking at night even at that age, so I don't think jt would be fair on the older child being woken up.

Me and my brother shared a bed until about Year 4! And chose to share a bedroom beyond that on bunks even though there was my own bed in "my room". Then I shared with our younger sister... Somehow all 3 if us ended up in the bunks in our brother's room! I remember sleeping in his room by choice even as late as 12/13 years old.

For people on this thread, has it all worked logistically and does the lack of space cause any issues? We really want a third but the lack of bedroom space is really what's holding me back. Both our second and third bedrooms are single bedrooms really (two bed house cut up to be a three bed), and one of those is a box room. I'm worried if we have some sharing the kids won't have enough space for their stuff, privacy, quiet place to do homework, for the elder one sharing they won't want to invite friends round with nowhere to play away from the younger sibling they're sharing... particularly thinking of teens. I know it's so far ahead but I can't see us being able to move somewhere bigger (in our area, and we'd definitely want to stay here) as house prices have gone insane here. Or am I just worrying unnecessarily and those are small things overall? I hated sharing a bedroom as a young teen which is colouring my view and I'm conscious that depending on sexes we could end up with two with a 6+yr age gap having to share which seems problematic ?!

@WeightoftheWorld just came across this thread and am a similar position to you....not certain if we want a 3rd yet as there are many reasons why it may not be a good idea, but one of the cons is lack of bedroom space.Currently have 2 girls 6&2 in a rented 3bed (1 double, 1 single, 1 box) semi, couldn't imagine being able to ever afford a 4bed renting or buying anytime in the foreseeable future.

Just wondered if you had got any further in making your decision?

Hah, well we have been ttc for about 5 months now is your answer to that! Basically hoping that it's not the most important thing in the world, and we are young and there is a reasonable possibility that in the future we could end up earning more and perhaps we could move, or convert the loft. But that's far from guaranteed, but then nobody ever knows what is going to happen in life much later down the line. Also honestly am hoping that if we are fortunate enough to have a third that it will be the same sex as my second, purely because of bedrooms. As the age gap between 1 and 3 will be big, eldest is 5.5 now already.

We had three kids in the one room and a play room with nappy change..
One was a sleep room - quiet calm and cosy.
The kids never woke each other up.