Talk

Unflip

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Infertility

I start egg-sharing IVF in January- is anyone willing to read my goodwill message?

14 replies

Justwaitingforaline · 08/11/2018 16:36

As the title says, I start egg sharing IVF in January. For anyone who doesn’t know, that’s where I donate half of my eggs to someone in need of donor eggs to achieve their dream of having children. It’s taken me a long time to write my goodwill statement which is given to any donor conceived child if they ever wish to make contact - would anyone be happy to read it for me?

OP posts:

Report

TooOooOnaStubbs · 09/11/2018 11:30

That's beautiful. Thank you for doing such a wonderful thing. We needed donor eggs and had an incredible result.

The country where we had our treatment has strict anonymity laws for donors, so our DS will never be able to trace his genetic mother. This makes me a wee bit sad tbh but we knew that when we signed up.
M

Report

RedPandaFluff · 09/11/2018 09:49

I think that's a lovely message, @Justwaitingforaline

I've just started a cycle as a shared egg recipient (endometrial thickness scan tomorrow, embryo transfer likely to be around 20th Nov) and I've been chewing over the emotional and ethical dilemmas in my head, so I'm relieved that you say it was the easiest decision you ever made.

I wish you lots of luck and I'm hoping you continue to post on here as I'm keen to understand the experience from the donor's perspective . . . maybe it will put my mind at rest!

Report

Lauren83 · 09/11/2018 03:52

I think that's a lovely message and very well written, the only thing I wouldn't be sure on is the first paragraph about them reading it as they are possibly wanting to get in touch, only because the recipients may read it at the time they are matched to you and may have shared it with the child as they are growing up, the child can also request it from the HFEA at 16 if they haven't already seen it but have to wait until 18 to ask for your contact details. I expect a large amount may want to see the pen portrait/goodwill message but a smaller amount make contact with the donors, I think it's good to say you will happy with contact at the end but I would tweak the opening bit.

I have a son from donor eggs so a huge thanks from me for doing so and good luck with your cycle

Report

whitewallflowers · 08/11/2018 20:03

That's beautiful and such an amazing thing to do

Report

Justwaitingforaline · 08/11/2018 19:58

Thank you for all of your comments - I’ll tweak the last statement as I agree it looks unfinished! Thank you for your kind words - we have our medical consult at the end of November, should be matched within a week and will be starting in January, it’s all feeling very real now!
@persipan no, I don’t know for use it will be a couple, hence why I avoided use of ‘mum and dad’ and used ‘parents’ instead which I thought would cover all bases but I see what you’re saying - I’ll have a rethink!

OP posts:

Report

Persipan · 08/11/2018 18:54

As someone shortly due to be an egg share recipient, I'd just like to say this is lovely and just the sort of thing I'd be thrilled to have in place for any future child I might be lucky enough to have. You're doing such a kind thing and I wish you every success with your own treatment.

The one teeny thing I'd say is, do you know for sure it's a couple who will be receiving your eggs? If you do then mentioning parents makes perfect sense; but if there's any possibility it could be a single woman then maybe those references could be tweaked slightly?

Report

Hyppolyta · 08/11/2018 17:50

Its beautiful but yes Id agree a last sentenance to finish it would be nice.

Along the lines of what PP suggested, or just to say you hope they are well and happy?

Report

hoping2018 · 08/11/2018 17:46

it's a beautiful message - what an amazing thing you are doing. I hope it works out for all involved.

I agree with pp. it doesn't seem quite finished - Maybe finish with a comment like "I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world" (or something along he lines of hoping for the best for them all?)

Report

SelinaMyers · 08/11/2018 16:51

OP- what a beautiful message. I would just add an exclamation mark after nuts to make it clear you are being comical. The final line seems a little unfinished as well. But I’m not sure what to suggest. I’ll give it a mull over.