Losing my shit!!!

[Sunshine19]

Hi ladies.

I have nowhere to turn about my infertility and need to rant before I lose my shit and kick off!
We went out for dinner with my parents last nite..my sister had her wee boy last week and for the 3rd time in a fortnight mum kept going on about how much she hated being pregnant and how much of a hard time she’s had during her pregnancy..I’ve listened to the same story for the past 2 times ive seen her. Not once did she even pick up I wasn’t saying anything back and listened patiently while she told me the same story AGAIN how hard it’s been for her. Secretly loathing the fact she had no trouble at all getting pregnant in the first place!! Mum knows our infertility and I wish I never told her about it now cos she doesn’t ask about appts and makes comments to me like “time is running out so hurry up” as well as go on about the sister hating being pregnant at all. When I told her about the IVF she made a daft comment saying “you’ll get twins then, great!” And is so clueless about the treatment only being 15% successful 🤬

I’m so angry the now!! Angry I have this problem, angry that she doesn’t get it and bloody boiling that she comes out with stupid insensitive comments! Does anyone on here know what I mean? Thanks for reading xox

[2fingers22018]

@Bumpity i totally agree but i was talkin about a normal(whatever normal is if theres such a thing)baby gettin into a sleeping pattern not a disabled or ill baby obvs thats completely different

[Happyandshiney]

My twins weren’t ill or disabled.

By the time they were three weeks old I genuinely thought I was going to die from lack of sleep.

There’s a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture method.

It might be “normal” but that doesn’t mean it isn’t problematic and thoroughly overwhelming.

Not being able to sleep is not the same thing as not being able to sleep because you are walking the floor all night with a screaming baby.

[PerspicaciaTick]

My infertility was my problem to bear. It was a tough 8 year journey and I did have the occasional rant online or sob in the ladies when another colleague announced a pregnancy. Then it was a case of chin up, plaster on a smile and crack on with it, because I was buggered if I was going to tolerate being pitied as well as all the rest of the shit.
However, that was my way of coping and we all just need to find what works for us.
And the reason I'm posting here at 2am? DS didn't sleep until he was 3yo (no daytime naps, no more an hour at a time at night). He sleeps OK now but I am left with a fear of being woken that has translated into an inability to go to sleep (if I don't sleep I can't be woken) so that 10 years later I am still struggling. Not that anyone in RL knows the ins and outs of it.
Neither problem "trumps" the other.

[2fingers22018]

@Happy😒

[2fingers22018]

@Sunshine sorry ur thread has turned into this i dont understand why ppl who are not in the same situation as u feel the need to push their opinions on us im not commenting back anymore because its petty and embaressing gd luck hun x

[2fingers22018]

@Perspicacia and what did the docs tell u when u said he only slept for an hr at a time?

[PerspicaciaTick]

They weren't interested, he was healthy and growing, developing normally.

[Weedinosaurus]

@Happy please never consider a career in talk therapy or counselling. As well intentioned as you are, what you say is so damaging to someone struggling. You have every right to comment and complain and your problems with sleep are as valid as any other problem but I have no idea why you can’t see that THIS THREAD is NOT the place for them.

@2fingers and OP sorry this thread has turned out some ridiculously unsupportive stuff. If you ever want to vent, feel free to pm me. I promise no kick up the arse and no perspective, only complete understanding of how shitty you feel and s place for you to say what you need to with no judgement.

[2fingers22018]

@Perspicacia and you just accepted that? Thats very odd i wouldve been looking for a 2nd opinion thats quite extreme to not sleep properly for the first 3yrs do u not think?

[PerspicaciaTick]

Yes I accepted it because I think they were right. Yes it was extreme but he did not have a medical problem. What he did have was a series of issues around anxiety and food which impacted his sleeping. Once we tackled the food issues and learned to deal with the anxiety effectively then the sleep followed. I found an out of district HV who was very supportive after my own HV failed to help me in the first weeks of DS' life.
I'm feeling really attacked here, like you think there was a simple pill I could have given him to make him sleep, a quick fix I missed, like I failed him. Thank you for that.

[2fingers22018]

@Perspicacia listen hun the last thing i want to do is attack you im honestly shocked you didnt get any help for this. As you said urself ur son had anxiety issues clearly you both needed help i dnt claim to know what the solution was but for your doctor to tell you that they werent interested is insane no one needs to live like that.