I don't know. The woman's actions just seem so underhand that I would question whether she would really be able to consider the child's best interests in the future. She may have considered that she was protecting the baby from her perceived view of the men as parents, but telling them the child had died? Nope. Not ok and not a reasonable reaction to the situation. Changing your mind and seeking legal advice? Yes. Lying about a tragic event and denying a child access to the only blood relatives they have? No.
I don't think criminalising this is the way to go. With gay couples becoming more integrated and same sex parents being accepted by mainstream society, then it's only going to increase demand which can't be supplied by purely altruistic individuals. Legislating and ensuring that there's a process (STD testing, regular counselling for all parties, documented discussions re. access and plans for birth, etc.) could prevent so much heartache. I think that if you enter into an agreement like this you should do so on the basis that should you change your mind, you accept that you default to a 50:50 residency agreement with the couple you have agreed to be a surrogacy for, unless there are legitimate welfare concerns.