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[educatingarti]

This is the new minimalist/decluttering thread! I hope everyone likes the minimal title!

[LimeLeaffLizard]

Need to catch up on the thread, so much to read! Congratulations Itchy - fab story!

100 year story is also fascinating Boffin

Haven't done any decluttering lately and need inspiration to get started again.

[LilRedWG]

another lurker here

[educatingarti]

Welcome LilRed

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Newbie here .
Over half term managed 4 or 5 bags to the charity shop, one bag to the fabric bank, bag of hand me downs to a friend. Also filled a wheelie bin with junk.
Today black bag full after sorting out some kitchen cupboards.
:)

[fuzzpig]

I'm not even halfway through the thread yet but just wanted to respond to boffin's post about FIL. Very poignant and sad. I grew up with parents like that and it wasn't nice. In fact even as a teen I started dreading the fact that one day I would face the situation you are in now. So in a way I was pleased when my mum finally said enough is enough (there were other reasons too but the clutter is quite symptomatic of dad's other issues IYSWIM) - this year they finally sold my childhood home and bought separate flats.

My mum is getting on brilliantly, she is very proactive at getting her new place sorted and selling stuff. Dad is not. He hasn't touched a thing since he moved, he hasn't even found his computer yet, and just stays at my nan's all day (she lives in the same retirement building, and has just bees diagnosed with lymphoma). I am worried and glad my mum is going to help him (despite his apathy being the main reason they split) and a bit guilty that I am too ill to help too.

You know what else though, I feel CHEATED. I have lost my childhood home because Stuff was more important. I lived with a broken window in my room for 6 years FFS. I am jealous of the new family moving in who will be able to make it lovely again (it has a lot of potential that in the 30 years my parents lived there was never met).

I really want a normal relationship with Stuff - it shouldn't be as important to me as it is. I know I attached more to objects because I got no emotional support from my parents, I was abused (not by them) and Stuff made me feel safe. I don't know how to change that. But I need to - I don't want my DCs suffering because of my shit mental health.

Sorry for massive depressing brain dump there but boffin's post really brought it home! But it can only get better from here, right? :)

[mirpuppet]

fuzzpig Things can only get better!

[fuzzpig]

Forgot to say, thanks for the warm welcome :)

Having a boring relaxing day at home with the DCs, DH is working (he does casual sales stuff on most weekends) and I am not up to taking the DCs out today. I have now read the whole thread (I'm not going to read the previous threads though, it'd take hours and just stop me actually getting on with stuff!)

Anyway. I am basically going to try and think of lots of really little things I can do to declutter. I had originally thought of writing them all down before starting but that's just another way of procrastinating isn't it :o

I am going to start by moving DCs' library books (I work in a library so bring home loads - but better than buying even more right?!) onto the shelf that they used to live on, and put the scattered books that are actually ours into a spare Ikea bucket (there are a couple of other full book buckets but they are on the cabin bed - DD is refusing to sleep on it so DH has moved the mattress onto the floor and using the bed bit as a huge shelf! )

When I've done that I'll grab any stuff in the bathroom that's been hanging around unused.

I know those things are tiny but they'll be a start and when I'm done I can allow myself on Amazon (need to order DH's father's day gifts and a couple of bits for DD's birthday).

I'm not really sure what to do about selling/charity. We do need money but then I want space too. Also we don't have a car so taking big/numerous things to the dump/charity is a bit tricky. I may end up just binning some things!

[fuzzpig]

Gosh sorry I do waffle on don't I - need to try decluttering my words too :o

[poachedeggs]

Just checking in... feeling a bit fraudulent here but I have clutter-free aspirations!

[OhTheConfusion]

Fuzz, onwards and upwards

Yesterday I unpacked my new bedroom and sent 3 bags to the charity shop and four to the dump! Next on the agenda is DS's bedroom [scared!].

[Nagoo]

just checking in.

fuzzpig understanding why you feel like you do is on the way to being able to overcome it

congrats itchy

I am doing quite well at using things up and tidying so I know what I have

[fuzzpig]

Thanks :) I'm hoping to get some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sometime soon - I'm on waiting lists both locally and at St Barts (I am with them for CFS/ME which is my main disability) so although the hoarding isn't the primary reason for needing it, I do hope to bring that up.

Anyway I have accomplished my two mini tasks :o DCs' library shelf looks all lovely and I tidied up/threw away a couple of bits from their room while I was sitting there (DCs were downstairs entertained by iPad!), then did the same from the bathroom - have now got rid of stuff like DS's first pants - he moved to boxers last year, why were they still there?! - and old opened medicines/creams (DS has eczema so we get through a lot, I kept the sealed ones). Yay :)

[buildingmycorestrength]

fuzzpig, hello and hugs. I recognise your relationship with Stuff.

Well done on your mini tasks.

I found a handbag that I don't want anymore, so that felt like a big step for me! I'm trying to just keep an attitude of 'anything I feel able to let go of here?' and that is helping me not feel overwhelmed.

[fuzzpig]

Hello building :)

I like the sound of that attitude, well done on finding the bag. I will definitely be taking it slowly and I will not be berating myself for not doing it all overnight. It will be worth the wait - and taking it slowly will make a health relapse much less likely.

A question for the thread if I may: TOYS!

How the actual Jeff do you declutter them? My DCs have too many. I know this. All decent stuff (bargain hunter/charity shopper here...) apart from the odd happy meal/party bag stuff which I am good at weeding out anyway... I don't like tat :o

Problem is they play with ALL of it. They are very good at playing :) - I don't recognise the oft-quoted situation of "they have so many toys they ask for and never play with" (though I daresay that will happen later when they start taking more notice of peers/adverts etc) so how on earth do you know what to get rid of?

They have recently started on playmobil, but they still play with their happyland... they have lots of 'grown up' type cars but DS still loves his toddler ones too. I need to be stricter don't I :(

[takeaway2]

Hello! I'm back. Fell off the wagon for a while as was v busy with work and travel etc. life is slightly less hectic now and so I'm back. Have got rid of a charity bag full of books for a local charity appeal (run by my neighbor so it was easy to get dh to get it across to him!). These were from my books to sell at car boot sale which didn't sell and frankly I rather they go to a local charity!

I managed to sell a big item on Gumtree which was great! And I've just popped a few items into a bag for charity (clothes that no longer cover my belly! ) and another bag for a baby who is littler than my daughter.

Have also tidied away the winter boots and clothes (well my snow coat anyway). Hallway less untidy!

[sudointellectual]

Joining in, if I may. Moving to our forever home this winter and I am determined to be clutter free by moving day. I've done pretty well so far! I've thinned down all our clothes so I could probably fit the lot into two stuffbags, I've done the built in cupboards and have given away two bookcases full of books. But then there's...

The Back Bedroom...

So far I have found three working and unused Macs in boxes waiting to sell on ebay. One is from 2005. I don't even need them. I have an amazing laptop from work and a home intranet for processing. I do not need these computers! And I found a whole box of memory sticks, probably 36 gig, three iPods, a minidisk player, a ROCKET BOOK (1999!), a broken Kindle I keep meaning to repair and on and on. Feel a bit sick at how much they cost. I know there are more, too. Lurking.

I think it's harder for me to get rid of these things because I could technically fix the Kindle, I could sell those computers. All in all there must be at least a grand's worth of kit, even if it sold poorly. I really feel like I ought. But I just...don't. I feel weirdly inert about it. It's really strange. I'm usually very Getting Things Done. I open my post at the door, scan it and shred it immediately, etc. I've done my tax return already! I have charming glass containers in my larder, that all match and look like a bloody Pinterest board. But in the back room there must be three hundred different adaptors and cables for computers I no longer own and I just. Leave. Them. There.

[BreakOutTheKaraoke]

Sudo- if you can't be bothered to sell them, is there a shop anywhere near that does it for you? We have a shop in the city centre that sells things on ebay for you, in return for ?% of the profit. Or you could put it all on Gumtree as a joblot, say £750 for the lot, needs to be picked up immediately.

[clearsommespace]

Fuzzpig, do you really need to be stricter? What would be the reason for culling the toys? Do you feel all those toys are detrimental to you or your children?

There are a lot of toys in our house but likewise, they all get used and I feel that they stimulate rather than stifle the DCs creativity. Luckily they do all fit in their bedrooms and can be tidied away properly should the DCs decide they want to or the room needs vacuuming. So I just keep taking them back (and making them take them back) to their bedrooms at the end of those days where play spreads into the rest of the house.

When the DCs were younger we used to rotate the toys keeping some in the basement. It helped keep the rooms tidy and they would rediscover the old stuff like it was new. But now they are old enough to know exactly what they've got down to the tiniest Playmobil accessory it's no longer possible. But mostly I feel that it is their stuff, so they should get to decide when to part with it. I'll ask occasionally if there's anything they don't play with anymore that they want to sell or give to the children who don't have many toys.

[sudointellectual]

Gosh, that's actually...what a good idea. I just googled and there are companies that will come and pick up all your stuff and sell it on ebay for you. I can't really believe this never occurred to me. I knew there were trading assistants but I've never, you know, applied this knowledge to my own problem. Was too busy feeling guilty!

Does anyone have a recommendation for a particular company? There's a woman who is fairly local, and then these two companies, which seem basically the same. Has anyone done this? Who did you go for?

[BreakOutTheKaraoke]

I've not used one personally, but I like the look of the local woman- her site is friendly!

[fuzzpig]

That sounds great sudo! It would be a shame not to get some money even if it's not the full value. I have a few old electrical items DH might list as 'spares' - it's surprising how well it goes. I sold an old DS (erm, nintendo, not a son :o) that had a dodgy screen - which obviously I described and photographed accurately - for £20.

Clearsomespace, it's really just the amount that needs reducing, like you say it's not that the toys are detrimental - but it is utterly impossible to keep tidy. They are everywhere! The house is so tiny (officially tiny in fact, we are on the housing register at Band B because of overcrowding in their bedroom!) it's just drowning in toys. Not that I mind them being around the house - actually lots of health visitors, outreach workers etc who have visited have said how lovely it is to see toys in the living room! I just want - no, need it to be tidier. I can't keep tripping over stuff, and there is no room to play in their bedroom, or even read stories comfortably. And there are toys that they do really love but hardly get to play with because they are buried/scattered!

I can, trying hard, think of a few things they would do without. I have difficulty saying no to generous friends and have a couple of electric toys that they played with a couple of times, there are also a few cuddlies that aren't played with. But their favourite toys are generally large - train set, lego, marble run, playmobil etc. I could go through and weed out broken/tatty bits though.

This evening while DH was ironing I cleared out all 3 of my bags! (well I have 4 but DH is using my Muttley one for college :o) Totally shocking how much crap - bus tickets, mostly - was in them! I've turned them inside out to air them and feel really good about having cleaned them. In doing so I found some shoe spray so I'm going to clean my work shoes too.

[wendybird77]

Fuzzy I've found with toys I can declutter by getting rid of duplicates - so I have one basket for cars, when there are more cars than fit in the basket some of the cars go. One basket for duplo, one basket for musical instruments, one box for soft toys, etc. It keeps the quantity down to a level that the kids and I can tidy away easily. Everything (mostly) has a home. It has meant that I've had to overcome my dislike of splitting up 'sets' of toys. I also have boxes of items for rotation - so sometimes the dinosaurs are out and sometimes the train set.

My own minimising process has stalled out a bit. I listed a bunch of stuff to sell on gumtree - but have only had one response, so I think I'm going to have to do the dreaded ebay. Sadly the guy who is supposed to collect the pallets keeps not turning up, so I'm just going to arrange for the council to collect them. In the meantime we've managed to acquire two more large ride-on items for the DCs, but cannot erect a shed for them due to above pallets. It will be lovely to have them out of the house when we do eventually get a shed though!

[Sunnywithshowers]

Hello all, I've not been around for a bit and am marking my place. :)

[starfishmummy]

My mil has done really well ad cluttered two big bag for life bags of books. Sadly she has given them to us!!
I will read those that appeal and then pass on, but I have to keep them away from Dh - or they will be here forever!!

[starfishmummy]

Oh lawks. Mil has de cluttered