DH needs advice for how to come up with ideas

[Kalodi]

We deregistered DS1 (6yr) a month ago and it's been a great success so far however I am aware I am coming up with most of the learning ideas for him. Thanks to my ADHD, I have a great ability to just think of creative ideas to help encourage and support DS' interests on the spot. This has led to some brilliant progress for DS as he now has an enjoyment with learning.

However, I'm heading back to work soon (currently on Mat Leave) and DH will be going part time with his job to take over the Home Ed. But he struggles to come up with ideas. Not only on the spot but also when attempting to pre plan learning tasks. DH just says his mind is always blank and he doesn't know how to actively think of things, he always needs to be told what to do. I understand all our brains work differently but I can't be on yap coming up with ideas when I'm back to work so where could DH find ideas, what resources are there that's useful.

Of course I can help preplan ideas for the week ahead so he has some stuff to go to but DS can often change his mind about his interests etc.

What about suggesting he connect with other home ed parents? Then they can be on tap instead of you! People love to brainstorm and will be very helpful with general ideas or specific resources. There are Facebook groups specifically for the purpose. Or he could just chat with other parents at the local home ed group while the kids are playing.

I didn’t home Ed any of my dc but in my area I’m aware of a HE community for meet ups, sharing resources etc.
Get him to check out local Facebook pages - there may be a lot more on offer in your local area than you think.

In general at this age there are a couple of things that will really help your DS and that your DH can take over without needing ideas and that is reading and maths.

So he could take DS to the library once a week and choose books and read with him every day. No ideas needed.

He could also do some maths with him everyday - from a website or a workbook if he struggles to think of ideas.

He might find twinkl useful?

Other than that:

Cooking
Gardening - it's a great time to get some seeds and start growing them
Lego
Take him swimming and start teaching him if he can't already swim
Start beavers/cubs and start working through the badges
Visit any historic sites or museums near you

Local home ed groups are a great idea, as would be reading up on ADHD friendly strategies (doesn't need to be EHE specific).

He could also look into different educational philosophies, methods, and ideas. Charlotte Mason, the Robinson curriculum, unschooling, structured/semi-structured/unstructured, mastery, unit studies, classical education, phonics, and so on. Even if he's sure some won't be for your family there's often something to learn.

Also, perhaps you could both start making a list of the sort of ideas you come up with that work well.

Is the subject matter from questions that your son asks, or things you have read about, or things in the news or in nature or that you can visit locally?

And for creative ideas: maybe your list will include acting out stories as if in the form of a play or an interview on the news or making art/craft linked to the content but that uses different materials each time, or - well, I have no idea and I'm not particularly suggesting those.

But I know that lots of my creative ideas can be vaguely grouped into similar sorts of things. They might seem all different and new to my husband and the children, but it's just a certain way of looking at things.

Lastly, maybe some practical books could help. My son is working his way through "50 things to do before you're 5 3/4". Not the right one for your family, but there'll be lots of similar ones.

You can find all sorts of information of you are prepared to look at it.

Your son needs lessons in all areas and not ‘in the spot’ ideas.

Maths English geography, science, sports, history, everything.

Sounds like you’ve gone into the ad hoc and don’t have the first clue about education.

Get him to break the above ideas up into different learning ideas so eg seeds .. think and write about what to grow, plan supplies, plants seeds,monitor growth, measure them, plot on simple graph, review results at end. Plan recipes to use produce etc.

I'm a gnarled old cynic but the fact that you're on here researching this on his behalf and it feels to me as if he's playing the "but you're so good at it " card.... it's ringing alarm bells for me... make sure you don't end up being the HE Manager who does all the mental load for this on top of your job.

He needs to have a loose structure for the week eg we do one day out, x house of maths, x of English, we play 2 board games, half a day practical (gardening/cooking/making or whatever.
then each week has a different theme, eg farm week so all the activities and learning are centred around farms eg reading farm books, going to a farm on a trip, making a sheep out of toilet roll and cotton wool. Then the next week can be Space etc etc
helps focus the mine eg oh we have a rocket board game we can play or I saw a great recipe for dinosaur themed pizza.

msths there are loads of website you can subscribe to which help with maths learning, skills and practice.

I really think ChatGPT could be your friend here. This is what is excels in - helping to overcome blank page syndrome. Prompt it exactly as you would say it out loud - "My 6 year old son is home educated and enjoys x, y and z. Suggest some activities that will help develop x skill that will take x long and are suitable for doing at the kitchen table/in the garden/at the park".

Or "My 6 year old son enjoys x. Suggest some ideas for a day trip to y that will include opportunities to learn about ź in a fun way".

Remember, it will be basing its responses on hundreds of thousands of home ed bloggers. Obviously you may not want to follow its guidance to the letter (!) but honestly I think it could really help your partner get started, if he is committed but just struggling to follow the fantastic example that you've set.

How on board with home educating was he?

Doesn't sound like he will be all that good at it tbh.

Thanks everyone.

Tbh we didn't have much choice but to home educate after exhausting ways to help DS at school. He was about to get excluded.

We both researched heavily into home education and are on the HEFA and local FB pages. Listened to the podcasts by HEFA and the Stark Raving Dad.

DS has ASzd with a PDA profile so ad hoc learning is how he thrives. However, to ensure we are developing appropriate maths and English skills we have listed out the KS1 and 2 goals so we can see what's age appropriate for him. Although we do know we don't have to follow the national curriculum etc.

So as an example on how this ad hoc works with me at home, if he wants to bake a cake (which we have done a few times now), he has to work out the ratios (for example for 4oz of flour you'll need 2 eggs) and find the appropriate measuring tools etc. He also has enjoyed writing down his own recipes and experienced some trial and error. So in this he has practiced maths, English, science and cooking.

We have a few overarching topics that he is currently interested in, Volcanoes, Ghosts and camping and motorbikes. So I tend to come up with on the spot ideas on how to do a learning activity, for example today we practiced rhyming couplets and created limericks by doing a rhyming couplet brain storm and pairs game.

We are keeping a record of everything and ensuring that we are developing a group of skills we have already agreed to focus on. So although the lessons are on the spot ideas, they all work towards developing these overachring set of skills (maths and English skills are based on KS1 and 2 for example).

The part DH struggles with is coming up with these lesson ideas that will capture DS and align with his interest as well as being age appropriate and help towards developing skills. He says his mind just goes blank. Where I am usually actively thinking constantly about what to do next and observing DS to see where to steer him next, DH says his brain just doesn't operate like that, it's usually already thinking about other stuff or isn't thinking at all, he is just sitting there observing but not thinking about the next tasks. His brain doesn't think to do this.

Perhaps it's a habit he needs to form? Or it's just his brain works, I don't know.

But maybe the chatgpt could be a good idea, he can quickly get some prompts instantly back (that's the problem with the Groups, it's not instant, ideas aren't on tap). But then when planning a week ahead for ideas to have up his sleeve or for an idea on how to steer DS, he can then make use of searching through FB groups and the Home Ed accounts he follows on social media.

Just to add DH is very much on board with this, it's him whose been pushing it more than me. I was more open to keep going with the EHCP and getting him into a SEN school.

However, I've since changed my mind having seen such a huge improvement in DS' mental health (suicide talk has stopped and he is building self esteem). And DS is learning, we are so surprised by how much he has learnt and the skills he has developed already (more than he ever done in the 2.5years he was at school)

I wonder as well about building out some mind maps or other structures either to let DS choose from or to create a kind of mix and match arrangement.

So e.g. maybe your have a big circle which has maths at the top. Then almost a circle of different learning things from there: sciences, psychology, economics, politics, sociology, history, languages, all the way round to film, art, music and philosophy.

Obviously he's little at the moment but I think these could be quite useful resources longer term as well.

So then you've got the circle and you then expand it so e.g. maths there's arithmetic, algebra (or maths machines to start with), stuff that needs rote learning like times tables, shape, graphs etc etc. In science you can start with the easy biology, chemistry, physics, then add things like plants, cells, physiology, ecology, zoology etc etc. I'd probably use fewer science words and more descriptors like "environment", "animals" than I've done here.

So it creates a massive visual map of all the areas one might be covering. You could go down to things like poetry, writing stories, writing for a newspaper, other audience etc.

Ideally it would then be laminated or something so you could write on it.

Then when your son has a phase of interest you can use that to guide the ideas - so he's really interested in space or whatever.

Looking at the big circle then you have the "space" bit in physics which is really obvious but then there's also the history of space travel from the history section, and what humans thought about space, and for animals the different animals that have been up in space and the way politics plays into space (space force) and films about space and what they're trying to do. (What's realistic , what isn't etc.)

Obviously your son is pretty young at the moment but I guess I really mean that structuring the way we try and use our imagination can sometimes make it easier to do .

You could also have a big counterpart chart with big broad topic ideas - space, climate change, the Romans, Tudor life, Antarctica, types of bear, transport, weather etc etc etc.

Edited to add: also to say I suspect you and him creating all this jointly would be a lot more helpful for you both than if you make it and he uses it.

That's a good idea, might help DH to have a think, I'll suggest it to him and leave him to do it.

Thanks everyone again

It sounds like this approach is working well for your son. At the same time, unschooling might work equally well, and could be more aligned with your DH's skills. It is a well recognised approach which gets good results in the long run. I've been doing it for 20 years, and it has served my children well. I understand that it's quite popular for children with PDA, not least because some of them don't get on at all with any other methods(!), though it sounds like your son does do well with his current learning environment.

Of course, your family could combine the two, by having a small amount of adult-planned activities focusing on your son's interests, while letting your son direct his own learning for a substantial part of the day. If he seems anxious when his time is completely unstructured - some kids do - a loose structure could be used to give a rhythm to the day without being overly prescriptive. For example, 9-10 go outside for exercise, 10-11 watch documentaries or read, 11-12 some form of writing and/or maths, etc. Your son could help decide the schedule and tinker with it as needed, so for example if he finds there's too much sitting still, he might want to add in more active times.

Families often need to experiment with different educational styles to discover what works best, and may need to make changes over time as family circumstances and the child's needs change.

Why not use curriculum? A lot of it is American but we’ve had no issues and my eldest is 8!
I’m a busy mum with multiple kids, a household to run etc, curriculums make my life so much easier rather than planning it all out.
Harbor and Sprout has lots of interest led units if you want to go down the unit study route.

DH just lost his shit with me when I suggested we should share out the home learning. He left school at 14 himself and I think he doesn't have the first idea where to start or what to do. I've just had 2 heavy work days and so our very unmotivated DS stayed in bed the whole time. Looks like its all down to me for the next few years.....

Your style sounds great but I think DH needs to find his own teaching style that works for him and DS. Maybe that's something much more structured and following some external resources. But I agree with a PP that it shouldn't be you trying to solve this, it's his responsibility to find a solution that works for him.

The way I come up with ideas (other than thinking about it a lot, as you describe) is: read lots of home Ed books. Listen to home Ed podcasts. Join all the national and local (1hr driving radius) Facebook and google home Ed groups and check them all every single day. Talk to parents during activities to find leads for further activities, google relentlessly if anything interesting is mentioned, including more widely around that topic. Keep lists everywhere of books, writing prompts, possible outings, companies to follow up etc. You could add reading all the PDA specific books to that too. I suspect if your DH did all that for a few hours after child bedtime every night he would have lots of ideas too.....

One of the units I used to teach was 'Equality and Diversity', evey day I would ask the class, "What day is it today?" Everyday celebrates or acknowledges something.

So today is 'National sleep day' - so they (Dh and DS) could spend the day in PJs and research things to do with sleep followed by a story and afternoon nap.

Look at why we sleep, why cats to already be asleep etc etc.

St Patrick's day is only a couple of days away.

He could also try 5,4,3,2,1 - it was originally a way of dealing with anxiety but it can be used as a learning technique.

It involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

It works well on walks or in new places.

Also don't underestimate daily tasks such as cooking and shopping as learning opportunities.

If he really can't think of things you can buy curricula.