To home Ed or flexi school or give school a bash?!

[AudreyM]

Boy this will be a long one so bear with me! (I have already posted this as a response elsewhere but realise I might fair better just starting a new thread!)

I was a primary school teacher from 2012 until 2022. I left with a lot of money in my pocket from a hideous head teacher and to be honest I'm mildly traumatised. I had a few really great years but education seemed to change drastically with less and less funding and the quality of management getting worse and worse.

My mum was a teacher and later a headteacher (primary) and her mum was a grammar school art teacher so I was never going to be a teacher. Naturally I ended up doing just that and I don't regret it. I really did love the kids, and in one school which I stayed at for most of the time I was left to my devices with great results and could add my own flair and creativity. Even then it seemed unnatural to be sat all day in a classroom with young minds and bodies that could be outside or learning through doing more and seeing more of the world outside those four walls.

After moving to some awful schools (management - either way too little of it or way too much of it!) I was so ready to go and honestly I do think I might be a little too traumatised to ever go back. As an adult I felt my creativity was stifled as a teacher so I can only imagine how this might impact children even with the best teachers. Especially in the last few years where we were cramming more and more absurd lessons into the day just to tick boxes.

Nearly all the schools I worked at were ofsted "good" schools.

I've felt since then, now I'm sat on the outside in another (albeit just as broken but in a different way) system of social care that schools are not good places for children. For children with low needs who come from economically stable homes school is just not going to give them an environment that will push them or allow them to be creative or take a reign on their learning.

My daughter turned 4 in September so missed the cut off and I feel I get an extra year with her. She doesn't seem to enjoy the school nursery she goes to and to be honest I don't have a lot of nice things to say about the teacher who she has this year. I now have a 3 month old and we are about to move into a new house. I am on maternity leave for hopefully a year if we can keep enough savings for the bills. I will have to go back part time but my job is mostly working from home and very flexible.

We have applied for schools for my daughter but in my heart I'm not comfortable with the lifestyle we will have if she goes to school. I want something more for her but in equal measures I will need to bring some income in.

I have considered perhaps asking to condense three days into two and work two long days if possible, at least condense 2.5 to 2 after maternity leave (Nov this year)

I am also very tempted to just take my child out of nursery entirely. She's started having accidents there and no one notices. she doesn't want to tell this new teacher which has really concerned me and not changed despite me discussing it with them on a number of occasions.

Obviously I am at home but looking after a baby. I breastfeed so can't be as hands on as I would probably like but she is leaving longer between feeds and I know it won't be this time intensive forever from experience (although my daughter was only weaned because I was pregnant and unwell when she was 3 and a half!)

Should I take this opportunity to be with her now, she does two days with her granny so I would have time to me and her little sister. Also to note she has also made a friend at school who is hilariously the daughter of a primary teacher and is just worrying in her behaviours. Discusses being thin, strops often, hits etc. My daughter has other friends who she still meets up with from her private pre school who are great kids so would still see other children. She also does swimming once a week and gymnastics which she loves also with other children her own age.

I guess what I'm moving on to is.... would flexischooling be worth it? We like to go camping and I keep thinking about how great it would be to be able to go off on a Friday into the countryside and spend time together with each other, dog in tow. Or... how would I home school if I still have two days to cover with childcare as when I go back to work in nov my littlest will take her sisters place at my MILs for two days a week and I know full well as brilliant as she is two children will be too much for her.

Any ideas how we could wangle those two days working from home with a 5 Yr old? Would I be able to find something for just two days a week like a child minder?

Having been a teacher will missing Friday cause more issues for her than it will solve? I do think she will find school easy enough and enjoy the routine but I don't necessarily think it's the best thing for her wellbeing. What issues will I face asking to flexi school?

Any advice/ perspectives would be sorely appreciated!

Also... I am considering doing my forest school qualification. My doula homeschools and seems to work a lot and succeeds?

I worry a lot of my fear is me breaking literally generations of learned behaviours. My daughter has very natural leadership skills and already loves playing at being a teacher despite not wanting to actually ever go to school. I was the same, I hated primary school and never felt ready being an August child. Okay, mad rant over and thank you to anyone who bothers to read this! Haha.